The Plotters BALLAD:
Being JACK KETCHs Incomparable Receipt
For the Cure of Trayterous Recusants:
Or wholesome Physick for a Popish Contagion.
Licensed December the 2d. 1678.
To the Tune of No, no, 'tis in vain.
The Explanation of the Cutt,
Coleman drawn on a Sledge to
the place of Execution, with
the Popes Pardon in his hand,
speaking these words out of his
mouth, I am Sick of a Tray-
terous Disease.
And Jack Ketch, with a
Hatchet in one Hand, and a
Rope in the other hand,
saying,
Here's your Cure Sir.
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1.
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NO, no, 'tis in Vain, Plot again and again,
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Contrive as long as you will,
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Your Cost, Labour, Policies, all is in vain,
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Our Protestants shall Flourish still:
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Let your Jesuits fret, and practice their Skill,
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Let the POPE and his Council assist,
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Our Church stands secure upon Sion Hill,
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Let them try to Destroy it that List.
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2.
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All the Art you can use, is too little you'l find,
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To bring in your Beads into Fashion,
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We like not your Devotion, your zeal is too blind
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For so Sober a Protestant Nation.
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Set your Engines to work, lay your Traps all about
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You'l catch but few Souls I believe,
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Your Plots and Snares, which occasion your fears,
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Will prove Vain, and their Authors deceive.
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3
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Your Gun-Powder-Treason, and Spanish Invasion,
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Are motives too weak to prevail,
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Blood will not move us unto your perswasion,
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'Till our Senses and Reason do fail.
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We dislike you the more for your Bloody designs,
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Such Arts will no Proselites gain,
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We're afraid to come near to the Roman confines
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Where so many poor Martyrs were Slain.
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4.
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Your Doctrine is Famous in every Nation,
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You convince and convert us in Blood,
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Where ever you come, there's no want of vexation,
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This we have long since understood.
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Queen Mary Converted by Faggot and Fire,
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And so would you do if you might;
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But blessed be God there's no need for the same,
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For we read by a far better Light.
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5.
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Send whom you think fit, send some of the Crue
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From the Cells of Pluto below,
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Send more of your Money, your Plots to persue,
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And hope you may yet give the Blow.
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Heaven we hope, with deserved Fates,
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Will break the stiff Neck of your Plots,
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And your Politick Heads shall Hang on our Gates,
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And Preach to such Treacherous Sots.
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6.
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Send o're to your Popish Bogg-Trotters in hast,
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Two Hundred Thousand Pounds more,
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Send some Infernal (that no time will wast)
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To do what you could not before.
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Let him try by his Magick if that can prevail,
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To lay our great Ormond in Dust,
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And if once again your Mischiefs do fail,
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Conclude that Gods Judgments are just.
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7.
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Send to St. Omers, and send to Lashee,
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Take Ashbies instructions, they're reckon'd the best,
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Wake-man, and give some Physitian a Fee,
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He perhaps may do more than the rest.
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If Physick should fail, use some other thing,
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There's Ruffians enough to be had;
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Send them to Windser to Murther a King,
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Then the Devil and the Pope will be glad.
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8.
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But what says your Conscience to all these damn'd Plots,
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Has the Devil quite pluck out its Tongue?
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No wonder you meet with so many shrewd blots
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Since Conscience lies sleeping so long;
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How shall we wak't, with Cravats or with Swords?
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Alas no, I see but small hope,
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It's in vain, its in vain, to spend many words,
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We must rouz't by a Sledge and a Rope.
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9.
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Then Mount Mr. Stayley, for its to be fear'd,
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By what you but lately have said,
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That your Roman Conscience will still be much fear'd,
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Until on a Sledge it is laid.
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And rise Monsieur Coleman, Jack Ketch is your Debtor,
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He'l Cure you of a hard Heart,
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Truly I fancy you will be much better
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Before you do come from his Cart.
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10.
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You are Sick I am told, ev'n Sick unto Death,
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And of a Rebellious Disease,
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A Hempen Cravat to stop up your Breath,
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Will give you abundance of Ease.
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And good Mr. Ink-horn prepare for the same,
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Squire Ketch now shall give you your Fee;
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He is known to be a Splitter of Fame,
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And you were best with him to Agree.
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11.
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Thus you Jesuits, Priests, and Gentlemen, all
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That are of the Red-Letter Rout,
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Jack has ready, if into his hands you do fall,
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An Infallible Cure without doubt.
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And if Holy Father himself he were here,
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He dares venture a Catholick Rally,
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His Receipt of the Noose should suit the Popes ear
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As well as with Coleman or Staley.
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