Rebellions Antidote: OR A DIALOGUE Between COFFEE and TEA.
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Tea. ALL hail kind Friend sweet Balsom of our Age,
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What mean'st thou by such tragick Equipage?
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Coff. Welcome dear Sister, Basis of my Life,
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Better than Goodness, dearer than a Wife;
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Forbear inquiring, lest thou force to rise
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Tears to a Deluge from my doleful Eyes,
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Such are my Plaints, and such my cruel Fate
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Tongue can't express their too to Ridged State.
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Tea. A Curse all Curses else below
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On those who do produce thy Woe;
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Death, Hell and Vengeance on him fall
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Who makes thy Fate so Tragical.
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Coffee. Merit on Merit, loe now I see
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A Life thou mayest command of me,
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Command thy Pleasure, I'll not Decline,
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Thy Goodness has oblieg'd me thine;
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And since as Dido thou command'st my Grief,
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I'll with AEneas sum up all in Brief.
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Tea. All that I beg is but the Reason
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What makes thy Visage out of Season.
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Coffee. The Rage and Madness of the Nation
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Moves both my Heart and eke Compassion,
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Unto that height I cannot Force
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My Horrour to a mean Divorce,
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Since all the World does now rely
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On Madness and Debauchery,
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Lewd and Distract to such a Strain
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As if invoking back again.
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Grim Chaos of accurst Confusion,
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The product of our grand Delusion.
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Tea. Truth without Error needs no Oath,
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All thou hast said is Naked Truth;
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Thus far th'art gone, but prethy tell,
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What 'tis occasions Death and Hell?
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Whence springs our Dolour, what's the sourse
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That Operates this Hellish Curse.
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Coffee. 'Tis Wine and Ale and eke the Grape
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Has spawn'd this spurious bestial Rape;
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What is't but these produce, what horrid Fact
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But Wine and Ale and Beer will act;
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Death Hell and Judgment Hand in Hand
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With them and theirs do always stand;
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Rapes, Murders, Thefts, and thousand Crimes
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Are gender'd by foul Ale and Wines;
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These are but Trifles to the Woe
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That Wine and Ale, and Beer can do;
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From whence unless from these do daily spring
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Rebellion, Treason, and Sham-ploting Sin;
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These Storm the Fort and let the Devil in.
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Judge you th' Effect where Satan Rules as Chief,
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'Tis then too late to cry stop Thief, stop Thief.
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Tea. In these Extreams there's but one way I find,
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My Life for yours and that will Undermine
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The Devil himself, and give you all a Laughter,
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T' expell his Vengeance by an holy Water,
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Allay the Billows of the flowing Rout,
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One Dish of Twist will force the Devil out.
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Coffee. Tho' hast hit the Pin, and Twists the Sovereign Portio[n]
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To turn the Tide, reverse the Alewives Ocean,
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Disgorge, God, Bacchus, and prepare a Stage
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Once more to entertain a Golden Age.
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Tea. Thanks noble Sir for this Relation
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In order to Retaliation,
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I'll force my Muse to such an height
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I'll thy deserv'd Acrostick Write.
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Come frantick Fools leave off your Drunken fits,
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Obsequiens be and i'll recall your Wits,
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From perfect Madness to a modest Strain,
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For Farthings four I'll fetch you back again
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Enable all your mene with tricks of State,
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Enter and Sip and then attend your Fate;
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Come Drunk or Sober for a gentle Fee,
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Come ne'r so Mad i'll your Physician be.
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