A merry new Song how a Bruer meant to make a Cooper cuckold, and how deere the Bruer
paid for the bargaine. To the tune of, In Somertime.
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IF that you list now merry be,
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Lend listning eares a while to me:
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To heare a song of a Bruer bold,
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That meant a Cooper to cuckold.
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The Cooper walked downe the streete,
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And with the Bruer chanc'd to meete:
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He called worke for a Cooper dame,
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The Bruer was glad to heare the same.
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Cooper quoth the Bruer come hether to me,
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Perchance I have some worke for thee:
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If that thy doings I doe well like,
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Thou shalt have worke for all this weeke.
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The Cooper with cap and curtesie low,
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Said ready I am my tunning to show,
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To doe your worke sir every deale,
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I doe not doubt to doe it well.
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Then quoth this lustie Bruer tho,
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If thou my worke doest meane to doe:
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Come to me tomorrow before it be day,
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To hoope up these olde tubs out of the way.
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And so to make up my merry rime,
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The Cooper the next day rose betime
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To the Bruers gate he tooke his race
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And knocked there a great pace.
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The Bruer leapt from his bed to the flore,
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And to the Cooper he opned the dore:
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He shewed him his worke without delay,
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To the Coopers wife then he tooke the way.
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The Cooper he called at mind at last,
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His hatchet he had left at home for hast:
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And home for his hatchet he must goe,
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Before he could worke the cause it was so.
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But when he came his house somwhat nere
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His wife by fortune did him heare:
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Alas said she, what shift shall we make,
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My husband is come you will be take.
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O Lord (sayd the Bruer) what shall I doe,
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How shall I hide me: where shall I goe:
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Said shee if you will not be espide,
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Creepe under this Fat yourselfe to hide.
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The Bruer he crept under the same,
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And blundering in the Cooper came:
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About the shop his Tubs he cast,
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To finde out his hatchet all in hast.
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Then his curst wife began to prate,
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If thou let out my Pig ile breake thy pate,
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A Pig said the Cooper I knew of none,
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If thou hadst not spoke the pig had bin gone
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If it be a Sow-pig said the Cooper,
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Let me have him rosted for my supper:
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It is a Bore-pig man said she,
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For my owne dyet and not for thee.
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It is hard if a woman cannot have a bit,
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But straightway her husband must know of it
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A Bore-pig said the Cooper so methinks,
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He is so ramish fie how he stinkes.
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Well sayd the Cooper so I might thrive,
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I would he were in thy belly alive
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I thanke you for your wish good man,
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It may chance it shall be there anon,
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The Bruer that under the Fat did lye,
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Like a Pig did assay to grunt and crie:
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But alas his voice was nothing small,
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He cryed so big that he mard all.
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Wife said the Cooper this is no pig,
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But an old hog he grunteth so big,
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He lift up the Fat then by and by,
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There lay the Bruer like a Bore in a stie.
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Wife said the Cooper thou wilt lie like a dog
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This is no pig but a very old hog:
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I sweare quoth the Cooper I doe not like him,
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Ile knock him on the head ere ile keepe him.
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O Lord said the Bruer serve me not so,
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Hold thy hand Cooper and let me goe:
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And I will give thee both Ale and Beere,
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To find thy house this sixe or seaven yeare.
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I will none of thy Ale nor yet of thy Beere,
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For feare I be poisoned within seaven yeere:
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Why sayd the Bruer if thou mistrust,
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Hold here the keyes of my best chest.
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And there is gold and silver store,
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Will serve thee so long and somewhat more:
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If there be store quoth the Cooper I say,
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I will not come emptie handed away.
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The Cooper went and filled his hat,
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The Bruer shall pay for using my Fat:
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The hooping of twentie tubs every day,
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And not gaind me so much as I doe this way.
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When he came againe his house within,
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Packe away quod he Bruer with your broken shin:
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And under my Fat creepe you no more,
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Except you make wiser bargaines before.
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