Westminster Cuckold
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YOU Draymen and Brewers also,
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Come lissen a while to the Board,
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And so says my buxom young Wife,
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A Woman that's caused my extreams,
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And now i am afraid by my Life,
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I am a Westminster Cuckold in grain.
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I live at the Sign of the Horns,
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And there sells a Pot of good Ale;
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The Brewer he comes in his turns,
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And he learnt her to play with her Tail
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And she being willing to learn,
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Which now gives me cause to complain,
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So i am as you may discern,
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A Westminster Cuckold in grain.
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One Morning she not being below,
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It being full Eight late of the Clock,
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I up to her Chamber did go,
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And i found the Door fast in the Lock;
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I rapp'd with my Fingers 'tis true,
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But i could no admittance obtain,
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Thought i are you going to brew,
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And to make me a Cuckold in grain
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I not being sure of the fame,
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I said loving Wife let me in,
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And straightway she answer'd me no,
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I at my Devosion have been;
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And when i have ended my Prayers;
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Then you shall admittance obtain:
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Thought i are you there with your bears
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And then i am Cuckold in grain,
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And straight i broke open the Door,
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A Fancy came into my Head;
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I look'd up and down on the Floor,
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And last i look'd under the Bed,
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Where my Fellow Servant i found,
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And i swore i would give him his bane,
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Because with a horn-cap he had me crown'd,
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And made me a Cuckold in grain.
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And straight as i draged him forth,
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I fired their amrous Charm,
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I speedily gave them both,
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The Duke of Northumberlands arms.
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My Pardon he beg on his Knees,
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But i told him it was all in vain,
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Because he had nibbled my Cheese,
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And had made me a Cuckold in grain.
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All you that have handsome young Wives,
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Repair to this hornified Luck,
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And do as i have done, turn her away,
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And i will ne'er receive her again:
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And yet i merrily follow my Trade
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All though I am a Cuckold in gain.
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