The Contriving Lover:
Or, The Fortunate Mistake.
With the Old Womans Journey to Heaven up the Chimney in a
Hand-Basket. Together with her Dreadful Downfall from the
Chimney-Top to the Chimney-Corner.
To the Tune of, I often for my Jenny strove, etc.
Licensed according to Order.
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(1)
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A Rich Old Miser of Renown,
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Who dwelt within a Country Town,
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He had a Daughter young and fair,
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As lively and as brisk as Ayre;
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A Spark had got so far in Favour,
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that they oftentimes had been
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Kissing and Clasping, Dying Gasping,
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Lovers, you know what I mean.
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(2)
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The Miser thought the Youth too Wild,
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And not a Match fit for his Child;
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He fearing what had pass'd before,
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Forewarn'd him coming any more:
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Further to prevent their meeting,
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and contrivance, out of door
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He did command her, to her Chamber,
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and there Lock'd her up secure.
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(3)
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When this sad News her Lover knew,
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He greatly discontented grew;
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Resolving by some means, that he
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His loving Dame again wou'd see:
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Knowing the Chimney of her Chamber,
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he got on the Old Dads House-top,
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A Letter bearing, words so 'ndearing,
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he did down the Chimney drop.
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(4)
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Desiring that she would next Night
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Take care to keep her Candle light,
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For he intended then by stealth,
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To visit her that way himself.
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This kind News did so surprize her,
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and such Joys to her impart,
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Thoughts of possessing, such a Blessing,
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much reviv'd her drooping heart.
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(5)
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The Night ensuing quickly came,
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When he resolv'd to see his Dame,
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He then desir'd a trusty Friend,
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That he would his assistance lend.
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In a Basket he was let down,
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his fair Prize for to obtain,
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Giving him Order, if the Cord stir,
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for to pluck him up again.
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(6)
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When down into the Room he came,
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He welcom'd was by his fair Dame;
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Their eager passions to content,
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They Kist, and into Bed they went:
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Eager to possess the blessing,
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fears and cares were soon destroy'd,
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Loving Caresses, and Embraces,
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by these Lovers were enjoy'd.
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(7)
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The Miser and his Wife lay near,
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Who did the Tell-tale Bed-Cords hear;
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The Old Woman in a heavy plight.
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Cry'd, Husband rise and strike a Light,
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Somebody's got to Bed with our Daughter,
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for I hear the Bed-cords crack:
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The Miser amazed, soon was raised,
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and into the Room did pack.
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(8)
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They hearing the Old Miser rise,
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Which did the Lovers both surprize;
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The Daughter, in a thousand fears,
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Whips out of Bed, and falls to Prayers;
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Begging God to bless her Father,
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who she thought was best of Men;
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Begging his Thriving, and his living
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to the Age of Methusalem.
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(9)
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He hearing what his Daughter said,
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Return'd again and went to Bed;
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And call'd his Wife an ill' tongu'd Beast,
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Who did so base a thing suggest:
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The Old Woman lay awhile and listen'd,
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being not well satisfy'd;
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They possessing, of their blessing,
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then she heard again, she cry'd.
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(10)
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Then slyly up got the Old Dame,
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And into her Daughters Room she came,
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She happen'd to stumble at a Stool,
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Did into th' Lovers Basket fall:
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Up was drawn the poor Old Woman,
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who in the Basket screaming lay,
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To the top he drew her, down again threw her
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whilst his Friend escap'd away.
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