THE FOUR--LEGG'D ELDER
OR,
A horrible Relation of a Dog and an Elders Maid,
To the Tune of The Lady's fall.
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ALL Christians and Lay-Elders too
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for shame amend your Lives,
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I'le tell you of a Dog-trick now,
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which much concernes your Wives:
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An Elder's Maid neare Temple-Barre
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(ah what a Queane was she)
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Did take an ougly Mastive Curre
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where Christians use to be;
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Help House of Commons, House of Peeres,
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oh now or never help,
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Th'Assembly hath not sate four yeares,
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yet hath brought forth a Whelp.
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One Evening late she stept aside,
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pretending to fetch Eggs,
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And there she made herselfe a Bride
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to one that had foure leggs:
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Her Master heard a rumblement,
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and wonder'd she did tarry,
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Not dreaming (without his consent)
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his Dog would ever marry:
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres, etc.
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He went to peep, but was affraid
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and hastily did run
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To fetch a Staffe to helpe his Maid,
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not knowing what was done,
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He tooke his Ruling Elders Cane,
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and cry'd out helpe, helpe here,
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For Swash our Mastive and poore Jane
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are now fight Dog fight Beare.
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres, etc.
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But when he came he was full sorry,
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for he perceiv'd their strife,
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That 'cording to the Directory
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they two were Dog and Wife:
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Oh (then said he) thou errant queane,
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why hast thou me beguil'd,
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I wondered Swash was growne so leane,
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poore Dog hee's almost spoyl'd.
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres, etc.
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I thought thou hadst no carnall sence
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but what's in other Lasses,
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And could have quench'd thy cupiscence
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according to the Classes,
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But all the Parish see it plaine
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since thou art in this pickle,
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Thou art an Independent queane,
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and lov'st a Conventicle.
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres, etc.
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Alas now each Malignant Rogue
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will all the World perswade
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That she that's Spouse unto a Dog
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may be an Elders Maid,
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They'l jeere us if abroad we stirre,
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good Master Elder stay,
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Sir, of what Classis is your Curre?
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and then what can we say?
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres, etc.
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They'l many gracelesse Ballads sing
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of a Presbyterian,
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That a Lay-Elder is a thing
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made up halfe Dog halfe Man;
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Out, out, said he, and smote her downe,
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was mankind growne so scant?
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There's scarce another Dog in towne
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had tooke the Covenant.
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres, etc.
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Then Swash began to looke full grim,
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and Jane did thus reply,
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Sir, you thought nought too good for him,
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you fed your Dog too high,
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Tis true, he tooke me in the lurch,
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and leapt into my arme,
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But as I hope to come to Church
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I did your Dog no harme.
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres, etc.
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Then she was brought to Newgate gaole
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and there was naked stript,
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They whipt her till the cord did faile,
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as Doggs use to be whipt:
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Poore City Maids shed many a teare
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when she was lash'd and bang'd,
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And had she bin a Cavalier
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surely she had been hang'd,
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres,
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Her's was but Fornication doomd,
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for which she felt the lash,
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But his was Buggary presumd,
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therefore they hanged Swash:
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What had become of Bishops then,
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or Independency,
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For now we find both Doggs and Men,
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stand for Presbytery.
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres etc.
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She might have tooke a Sowgelder
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with Synod-men good store,
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But she would have a Lay-Elder
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with two leggs and two more:
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Go tell th' Assembly of Divines,
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tell Adoniram Blew,
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Tell Burgesse, Marshall, Case, and Vines,
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tell Now and-anon-too.
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres, etc.
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Some said she was a Scotish Girle,
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or else (at least) a Witch,
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But she was borne in Colchester,
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was ever such a Bitch!
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Take heed all Christian Virgins now,
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the Dog-star now prevailes,
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Ladies beware your Monkeys too,
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for Monkeys have long tailes.
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Oh house of Commons, house of Peeres, etc.
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Blesse King & Queen and send us peace
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as we had seven yeares since,
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For we remember no Dog-dayes
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while we enjoy'd our Prince:
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Blesse sweet Prince Charles, two Dukes, thre[e Girles,]
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Lord save His Majestie,
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Grant that his Commons, Lords & E[arles]
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may lead such Lives as He.
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Oh House of Commons, House of Pe[eres,]
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Oh now or never helpe,
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Th' Assembly hath not sate four yeares,
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yet hath brought forth a Whelp.
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