Roome for a JUSTICE.
OR,
The Life and Death of Justice WATERTON:
Together with his Epitaph.
Presented to the view of the Citizens of London, and the rest of the good people at
Wapping, Ratcliffe, and St. Katherines.
To the Tune of A Sunday Bak'd-Pudding.
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A Justice that never could tell how to write,
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But excellently skilld in the way of indite,
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Has now bid adieu to this blessed light.
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Never the like was seen.
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He is ferrying ore the Stygian water,
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With publique curses instead of the Psalter,
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And sung to his Grave with ev'ry mans laughter,
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Never, etc.
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He hath stole in his years many a heavy plank,
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And sold it for's Wenches that liv'd at Green-bank,
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But the Divel at last hath paid him his thank,
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Never, etc.
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He was once a wondrous painful Calker,
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And to his death a wonderful Talker,
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I hope his Ghost will be no Walker,
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Never, etc.
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By these good ways he grew to a Saint,
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And in the profession never was faint,
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Till Old Nick told him, Sir further you may'nt,
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Never, etc.
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Has sprung a leak, and now he is sunk
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That has punisht so many for being but Drunk,
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Ther's no cure for him now in the Soveraigns pump,
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Never, etc.
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But he hath mist the Hangman (the Divel choak him,
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Though without all doubt the fiend will smoke him)
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He bought all his Ropes to make him Okum,
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Never, etc.
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There never was any so well stopt a chink,
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Unless it were Col. Hewson the blink;
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Yet such an En'my to them that love Drink,
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Never, etc.
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A petulant bold pragmatick fellow,
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A Knave deckt up in the fools colour yellow,
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That when he should speak did use for to bellow,
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Never, etc.
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But now he is gotten into the dark
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I marvel what he will doe for his Clark,
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His ten Groats, a Noble, and sometimes a Mark,
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Never, etc.
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And now he is quietly under the Ground,
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And secur'd in a worse then his or Lobs Pound,
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Where shall now he go his Sundays Round,
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Never, etc.
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That such a Heaven-driver of the State,
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And made the Offendors come up to his Rate,
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Should miss th' high way, & enter the Divels broad Gate
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Never, etc.
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What then shall we do with the round house & Cages
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What needs there the question, who is't that engages,
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The Fiend that employ'd him, hath paid him his Wages,
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Never, etc.
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He was one of the wise men of the East,
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His Worshipful Chops and Teeth never Ceast,
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At a Jury's or the Sessions Feast,
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Never, etc.
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He sate very Gravely on the Bench,
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But never favoured Woman or Wench,
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Tis said they formerly gave him a wrench,
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Never, etc.
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Instead of peace he was Justice of Jarre,
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All his delight was plac'd in a Bare,
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As much as before twas in Pitch and Tarre,
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Never, etc.
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That trade had taught him to know a Flaw,
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With the help of his spectacles in the Law,
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But we all know who has him in his Claw,
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Never, etc.
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If he be as tis like such a troublesome Guest,
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Below as here, where he was never at Rest,
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He's to be foreman of the infernal Quest.
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Never the like was seen.
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An Epitaph.
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Here lyes the Sway of Ratliffe High-way
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That awed with his Frown, all Wapping Town,
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This reverend dust is the reliques of a Justice,
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Worms come not again to trouble his Brain,
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If the Coffin be not tite, we shall nere be qui't
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A Rascal so auker was nere made of a Calker,
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He was Crosse and Contrary, and from the Proverb did Vary,
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Liv'd by Water and so, yet dyed ev'ry mans Foe.
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Reader stay not on's Grave, but passe by the KNAVE,
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For you'l be tane in the Lurch, for your staying from Church.
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Never the like was seen.
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