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EBBA 36554

British Library - Luttrell Ballads
Ballad XSLT Template
BUMM-FODER
OR,
WASTE-PAPER
Proper to wipe the Nation's RUMP with, or your Own.

FRee quarter in the North is grown so scarce,
That Lambert with all his men of Mars
Have submitted to kiss the Parliaments Arse,
Which nobody can deny.

If this should prove true, (as we do suppose)
Tis such a wipe as the RUMP and all's Foes
Could never give to old Olivers nose:
Which, etc.

Theres a Proverb come to my mind not unfit,
When the head shal see the RUMP all be-shit,
Sure this must prove a most lucky hit:
Which etc.

Theres another Proverb which every Noddy
Wil jeer the RUMP with, and cry Hoddy Doddy,
Here's a Parliament all Arse and no Body.
Which etc.

Tis a likely matter the world wil mend
When so much blood and treasure we spend,
And yet begin again at the wrong End:
Which etc.

We have been round and round about twi[rl'd,]
And through much sad confusions h[url'd,]
And now we are got into the arse of the worl[d:]
Which etc[.]

But 'tis not all this our cou[rage wi]l quail,
Or make the brave Seamen [to the] RUMP strike sa[il,]
If we can have no head, w[e wil h]ave no Tail:
Which etc.

Then let a Free-Parliament [b]e turnd trump,
And nere think any longer [the Nation] to mum[p]:
With your pocky, perjur'd, [damnd,] old R[ump:]
Which etc.

But what doth Rebel Ru[mp make here]
When their proper place (a[s Will. Pryn] doth swear)
Is at the Devils arse in Derby[shire:]
Which etc.

Then thither let us send them a tilt,
For if they stay longer, they wil us be[g]uilt
With a Government that is loose in th[e Hi]lt:
Which etc.

Youl find it set down in Harringtons Moddle,
Whose brains a Commonwealth do so coddle[,]
That t'as made a Rotation in his noddle:
Which etc.

Tis a pitiful pass you men of the Sword
Have brought yourselves to, that the Rumps your Lord,
And Arsie-Versie, must be the word,
Which, etc.

Our powder and shot you did freely spend,
That the Head you might from the Body rend,
And now you are at us with the But-end,
Which, etc.

Old Martin and Scot have still such an itch,
That they will with the Rump try to'ther twitch;
And Lenthal can grease a fat Sow in the britch:
Which, etc.

Thats a thing that would please the Butchers and Cooks,
To see this stinking Rump quite off the hooks,
And Jack-Daw go to pot with the Rooks.
Which, etc.

This forward Sir John (who the Rump did never fail)
Against Charles Stuart, in a Speech did rail;
B[ut] men say it was without head or tail,
Which, etc.

Ju[st suc]h is the Government wee live under,
Of [a Pa]rliament thrice cut in sunder;
An[d this hath] made us the worlds wonder,
Which, etc.

O[ld Noll] when we talk[t] of Magna Charta,
D[id prop]hecy well [we should] all smart-a,
[And now] we[e] have found his RUMPS Magna Fart-a,
Which, etc:

But I can't think Monck (though a Souldier and sloven)
To be kin to the Fiend, whose feet are cloven,
Nor will creep i'th Rumps Arse, to bake in their Oven,
Which, etc.

[T]hen since he is coming, e'ne let him come
From the North to the South, with Sword and Drum,
To beat up the quarters of this lewd Bum;
Which, etc.

And now of this Rump I'le say no more,
Nor had I begun, but upon this score,
There was something behind, which was not before;
Which, etc.


FINIS, In English[,] The RUMP.

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