ARSY VERSY:
OR,
The Second Martyrdom of the
RUMP.
To the Tune of, The Blind Beggar of Bednall-green.
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1.
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MY Muse, to prevent left an after-clap come,
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If the wind should once more turn about for the Bum,
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As a preface of honour, and not as a frump
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First with a Sirreverence ushers the Rump.
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2.
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I shall not dispute whether Long-tailes of Kent,
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Or Papists this name of disgrace did invent;
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Whose Legend of lies, to defame us the more,
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Hath entail'd on us Rumps ne're heard on before.
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3.
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But not on its Pedigree longer to think,
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(For the more it is stirr'd the more it will stink)
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'Tis agreed the Rumps first report in the Town
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Did arise from the wooden invention of Brown.
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4.
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Old Olivers nose had taken in snuffe,
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When it sate long ago, some unsavoury pu[ff]
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Then up went the Rump, and was ferkt to the qu[i]ck,
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But it setled in spight of the teeth of poor Dick.
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5.
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Then the Knight of the Pestle, King Lambert, and Vane
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With a Scepter of Iron did over it reign:
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But the Rump soon re-setled, and to their disgrace
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Like Excrements voided them out of the place.
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6.
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It did now, like a Truant's well-disciplin'd Bum,
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With the Rod of affliction harder become;
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Or else like the Image in Daniel it was,
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Whose head was of Gold, but whose tail was of Brasse.
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7.
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It endur'd the first heat, and prov'd no starter,
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But sung in the midst of the flames like a Martyr,
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And whisk'd the tail like a terrible Farter,
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And sounded most cheerfully, Vive Sir Arthur.
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8.
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But the next fire Ordeall put into a dump,
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Sir Orlando the furious chief joynt of the Rump,
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That he look'd like the picture of Richard the Third,
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Or like an ejected and frost-bitten t------
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9.
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said that his Durindana he drew,
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And a Wight on the Road most manfully flew;
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But, pardon'd by Charls, made good what they tell us
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How ill 'tis to save a thief from the Gallows.
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10.
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Being now to be burn'd, he soon did expire,
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For he was but a flash, and would quickly take fire,
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So that their fewell upon him to spend,
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What was it but Coals to Newcastle to send?
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11.
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To bring 'em to th' stake as in order they lye,
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Harry Martin the next place must occupy;
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'Twas expected in vain he should blaze, for he swore,
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That he had been burnt to the stumps before.
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12.
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Tom Scot for the Bum most stifly did stand,
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Though once by a Bum he was fouly trapand;
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But Time and his Office of Secretary
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Had learnt him his businesse more private to carry.
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13.
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Some thought he arriv'd at his dignity first,
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By being so well in iniquity verst,
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The mystery of which he hath practis'd of late
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In his function, which was, to be Baud to the S[tate.]
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14.
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Hob Morley in silence did suffer the losse
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Of his Rump, and with patience took up the Cro[sse,]
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That to see him so sindg'd and so scorcht you wo[uld swear]
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No Camell more meekly his burden could bear.
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15.
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The Speaker was thought to the Rump to be true[,]
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Because like a Fart at the first he burnt blew;
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But streight he was cunningly seen to retire,
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For fear to endanger the Rolls in the fire.
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16.
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St. John a mortall of flesh and of blood,
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Swore by St. * Peter the example was good:
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So facing about and shifting his station,
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He turn'd o're a new leaf in St. Johns Revelation.
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* He hath a great kindness
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for that Saint, not because of
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his Keys, (which he knows he
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shall never make use of) but in
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reference to Peterborough Min-
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ster, the stones of which built
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his new House.
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17.
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Harry Nevill that look's lik a Mahomet's Pidgeon,
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Accused to be of a State-man's Religion,
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Is left to his choice what Processe he'l have,
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To be burnt for an Atheist, or hang'd for a Knave.
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18.
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Now stop thy nose, Reader, for Atkins does come,
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That shame to the Breeches as well as the Bum:
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To wish he were burnt were an idle desire,
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For he comes provided to shite out the fire.
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19.
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But least he without a Companion should be,
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Here's Lisle that comes next stinks worser than he;
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So fouly corrupt, you may plac't in your Creed,
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Such a Rum[p could] alone such a Fistula breed.
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20.
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Poor Ludlow was bogg'd in Ireland of late,
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And to purge him self came to the Rump of the State;
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But gravely they told him he had acted amisse,
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When he fought to betray the Rump with a kisse.
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21.
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Ned Harby was s[ur]e an herb John in the pot,
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Yet could he not scape the dysasterous lot:
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Scarce Church'd of the Gout was the trusty old Squire,
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But he hopt from the frying-pan into the fire.
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22.
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Robin Andrews was laid on last as they tell us
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For a Log to keep down the rest of his fellows;
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Though he spent on the City like one of the Roysters
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Each morning his * two-pence in Sack and in Oysters.
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* Some Authors hold
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it was but three half-
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pence, but Poetry will
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not admit of broken
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numbers.
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23.
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Next Praise-God, although of the Rump he was none,
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Was for his Petition burnt to the Bare-bone:
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So Praise-God and Rump, like true Josephs together,
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Did suffer; but Praise-God lost the more * Leather.
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* Courteous
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Reader, he is a
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Leather-seller
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24.
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There's Lawson another dag-lock of the tail,
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That the fire to avoid to the water did sail;
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And in godly simplicity means (as they say)
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To manage the Stern, though the Rumps out of play.
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25.
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But Overton most with wonder doth seize us,
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By securing of Hull for no less than Christ Jesus,
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Hoping (as it by the story appears)
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To be [th]ere his Lieutenant for one thousand years.
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26.
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Lord Monson? Oh Venus! what do you hear?
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I little thought you were a Rumper I swear:
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But an im[potent] Lord will thus far avail,
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He will s[erve for a] cloak to cover the tail.
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27.
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To b[urnish his Sta]rre Mr. Salsburys come,
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With the [Atmos of] Gold that fall from the Bum;
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Sure 'twas [but a] Meteor, for I must tell yee,
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It smell as ['tw]ere turning to th' Alderman's jelly.
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28.
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Brother Pembrock comes last, and does not disdain,
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Though despis'd by the world, to bear up the train;
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But after new lights so long he did run,
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That they brought him to Bethlehem before they had done.
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Not Bethlehem
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in Judea, (for
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he is none of
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the Magi.)
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29.
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Thus the Foxes of Sampson that carried a Brand
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In their taile[s,] to destroy and to burn up the Land;
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In the flam[es t]hey had kindled themselves do expire,
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[And] the D[ee'l] give them brimstone unto their fire.
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