Have You any Work for a COOPER?
OR, A
COMPARISON
Betwixt a Cooper's, and a Joyner's Trade,
Wherein their Qualities are both display'd:
But still the Cooper, as you Here may find,
The Joyner does Excell in ev'ry Kind.
The Tune, The Fryar and the Nun, etc.
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THE Cooper, and the Joyner, are Two famous Trades:
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They both are cunning Work-men; they both are crafty Lads:
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They both can varnish off their Work; both will you Trepan:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is the ------ Man.
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They both have their Trade well, to give the Devil his Due;
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Nay, some stick not to say, He was their Master too:
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But though the Joyner do appear the more Active Blade;
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is the ------ Lad.
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They both work in Timber, but not in the same Wood:
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The Cooper works in Ash, that Hilts makes firm and good
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For the Axe, that on the Head all Lordly Traitours knocks:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is the ------ Fox.
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The Joyner he (of late) work't for Life 'bout a Tree,
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Like the Old Tripple-Oak, which near Hide-Park you see;
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Where many Trait'rous Pendulums have had a shrewd Disaster:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is their ------ Master.
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The Cooper he hoops Hogsheads, and a Hole i'th' Side leaves open;
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The Joyner he Joynes all Things, except a Neck that's broken:
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Though both were wrapt up in the Smock of their City-Mother;
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper's ------ Th Elder-Brother.
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The Cooper on his Friends, late casts a Squinting-Eye:
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The Joyner too of late, does shrewdly look a-wry.
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And though they do, in this one Point, both of them agree:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper's ------ Ipse He.
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Both are True Protestants, and of the Newest Stamp,
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(Such as Jack Presbyter does with an Atheist Vamp:)
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Both the Glory of the Church; both in the old Way bred;
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is its ------ Head.
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The Cooper he can make a Speech to be admir'd:
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The Joyner too can prate, as if he were inspir'd;
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It seems his Clapper is well hung, (I wish them well hung both;)
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is the ------ Youth.
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They both went to Oxford, to Study, I suppose;
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But not both of One Colledge, yet both of Brazen-Nose:
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But One of them staid behind, his Degrees to take there:
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And say what you will, the Cooper is a ------ Quaker.
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The University discovered soon their Parts:
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But it had never yet There, Masters of such Arts:
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Each of them for the Good Old Cause, doubtless is a Right Boy:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is the ------ White-Boy.
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The Pope Absolves about Town, is now the Cooper[']s Cry;
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The King Dissolves, then cryes the Joyner by and by;
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And the People do Resolve, is the Rabbles Vogue:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is the ------ Rogue.
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Great Schollars stood amaz'd, to hear the Cooper plead;
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And wonder'd too to hear, what the Learned Joyner said:
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He of all the Bawling Curs, is the Chief Controuler:
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But say what you will, the Cooper is ------ Old Jouler.
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The Cooper is, you know, Chief Work-man to a Brewer;
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The Joyner work't for both, but make[s] not Work so sure;
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As apppear'd not long agoe, much to the Cooper's Grief:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper's a ------ Sly Thief.
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The Cooper by his Calling, does often work with Fools;
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The Joyner does the same too, and uses the same Tools:
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And though he be accounted, by all a Subtle Slave;
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is the ------ Knave.
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The Cooper is an Elder-man of Fame and Renown;
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The Joyner is likewise a Free-man of the Town:
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And though he wears no Gown, he did lately wear a Chain;
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper merits ------ Twain.
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Both (like their Fellow-Tradesmen) can Cant and Cringe, to Cheat
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Their Customers with Wares, False and Adulterate;
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And fell too their own Fathers, for a Penny in the Shilling:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is the ------ Villain.
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They both can Yea and Nay, both can Profess, to get
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Unwary filly Wood-Cocks into their Treach'rous Net:
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Both can snear like Saints, with Carriage wond'rous Civil;
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper is a ------ Devil.
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The Cooper he is free to work i'th' Tower all Day;
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But not with th' Popish Lords, at Pins or Bowls to Play;
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Or any such Prophane Game, whereof the Popes Contriver:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper's the ------ Top-driver.
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The Joyner has a Freedom herein beyond the Cooper;
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For he i'th' open Field, with Ketch may play a Rubber:
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And though he were so mad, his Neck to venture at one Stake there;
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper's the ------ Match-Maker.
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The Cooper he has been a Parliament-Cavalier;
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The Joyner had been for the Next Election fair,
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Had he not late miscarry'd by the Members Division;
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Yet say what you will, Cooper's the ------ Politician.
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All you can for the Joyner say, (say your Best, or Worst)
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Is, That he had the Honour to be Exalted first.
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Well, I'le to oblige you, grant that Part of your Text:
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Yet say what you will, the Cooper will be ------ Next.
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Now, pray take Notice all of you, what-e're you are,
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That 'fore the Noble Cooper, the Joyner do prefer;
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You must confess, That if with him in any sort compar'd,
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E'en say what you will, the Cooper is a ------ Laird.
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