The two Jeering Lovers:
Or, A pleasant New Dialogue between Dick Down-right of
the Country, and pretty witty Nancy of the Citie: The man-
ner of their wooing, winning, and wedding shall be related
in this ensuing Ditty.
To a dainty new tune, called, Now the tyrant hath stolen, etc,
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Dick.
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COme hither sweet Nancy,
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and sit down by me,
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These long seven Winters
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I have loved thee:
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Then give me my answer
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if that thou canst love me,
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Or else say me no then
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my pretty Nancy.
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Nancy.
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Stand further Sir Lobcock
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and trouble not me,
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I had rather with Pistols
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and Guns to be shot,
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Or be run through with Rapiers,
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then suffer disgrace,
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For to have such a Buzzard
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to breath in my Face.
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Dick.
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Sweet Nan doe not hold me
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so much in disdain.
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But as I love thee, prethee
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love me again.
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There's nothing on earth
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in the world to be had,
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But I will procure it
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to make my love glad.
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Ile buy thee new Beaver
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and a dainty silk Gown,
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And a Taffety Apron
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the best in the Town,
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Fine Hose and fine Shooes
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and a brave Holland Smock,
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Thou well mayst believe me,
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for I doe not mock.
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Ile buy thee a scarf that is
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very compleat,
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And costly head Tyero
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both handsome and neat:
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Ile buy thee rare Bracelets
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and such pretious things,
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Perfum'd gloves and Ribbons,
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and gallant gold Rings.
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Nancy.
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Ile none of thy Ribbons,
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nor none of thy Gold,
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I had rather to suffer
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both hunger and cold,
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Then to match with a Clown
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which my mind cannot brook,
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Nor can I abide thee
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once on me to look.
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Dick.
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WHy what is the reason
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thou shouldst me disgrace?
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I pray thee in plain terms
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speak to my face.
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Or what is the cause thou
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canst not fancy me?
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That ever was faithfull
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and true unto me.
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Nancy.
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The reason is this
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if you'l have it so,
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Thou like to a Sloven dost
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every day goe,
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Therefore take good notice
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and mark what I say,
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I'd not have thee if thoult give me
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a Noble a day.
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Thy eyes stand asquint,
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thy nose stands awry.
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Thy mouth stands aside,
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and thy beards's never dry:
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Thy Chaps all be slabered
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and thy lips are amisse,
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'Twould make a Maid loath
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for to give thee a kisse.
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Thy Shooes are unty'd,
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and down at the heels,
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Thy Stockins ungartred,
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which thou dost not feel,
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Thy Codpis unbutned,
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thy breeches bepist,
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These are nasty actions,
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say you what you list.
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Take this for an answer
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I will thee not have,
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There's the doore and the way,
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now goe walk like a Knave,
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Goe home to thy Countrey
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and kisse Countrey Jone,
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For sweett-heart in London
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thou art like to have none.
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Dick,
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Why then thou proud Huswife
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Ile bid thee farewell
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Your scoffing and jeering
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too much doth excell:
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Yet this I say to thee,
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if thou hadst thy desert,
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Thou wouldst either be hanged
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or be tyd to a Cart.
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Nancy.
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Nay stay my sweet Richard,
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lets kisse and be friends,
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For what I said to thee
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Ile make thee amends,
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If thoul't be my Husband
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I will be thy Wife,
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And ile be constant to thee
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all the dayes of my life.
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Then Dick he kist Nancy
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and Nancy kist Dick,
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And close to each other
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they after did stick:
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They went to the Church
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and were married that day,
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And Dick to the Countrey
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carried Nancy away.
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By this you may see what
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young women can doe,
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When Bachelours to them
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do come for to wooe;
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Their wits are so nimble,
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they can in an houre
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Turn sowre into sweetnesse
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end sweetnesse to sowre.
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