THE
States-Man's Almanack:
Being an Excellent New BALLAD, in which, the Qualities of each MONTH
are Consider'd; whereby it appears, that a PARLIAMENT cannot meet in
any of the Old MONTHS: With a Proposal for mending the KALENDAR,
Humbly offered to the Packers of the next PARLIAMENT.
To the Tune of Cold and Raw, the North did blow, etc.
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PROLOGUE.
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I.
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THE Talk up and down,
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In Country and Town,
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Has been long of Parliaments Sitting:
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But we'll make it cleer,
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Ne'r a Month in the Year,
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Is proper for such a Meeting.
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II.
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The Judges declare it,
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The Ministers swear it,
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And the Town as a Tale receives it:
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Let 'em say what they can,
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There's never a Man,
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Except God's Vicegerent believes it.
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III.
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If the Criticks in spight,
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Our Arguments slight;
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And think 'em too light for the Master:
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It has often been known,
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That Men on a Throne,
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Has Harrang'd the whole Realm with no better.
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IV.
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For in times of old,
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When Kings were less bold,
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And made for their faults Excuses:
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Such Topick's as these,
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The Commons to please,
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Did serve for most Excellent Uses.
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V.
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Either Christmas came on,
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Or Harvest begun,
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And all must repair to their Station:
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too dry, or too wet,
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For the Houses to Sit,
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And Hey for a Prorogation.
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VI.
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Then, Sir, if you please,
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With such Reasons as these,
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Let's see how each Moon is appointed.
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For tho it be strange
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In all her Change,
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She Favours not God's Anointed.
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The ALMANACK,
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January. I.
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THE first is to cold,
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For Popery to hold,
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Since Southern Climates Improve it:
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And therefore in Frost,
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Odds but its lost,
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If they offer to remove it.
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February, II.
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The next do's betide,
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(Tho then the King dy'd)
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Ill luck, and they must not be tampring:
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For had not Providence quick,
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Cool'd his Head i'th' Nick,
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'Fore God they were all a scampring.
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March. III.
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The Month of Old Rome,
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Has an Omen with some;
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But the sleeping Wind then Rouzes,
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And trust not the crowd,
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When Storms are so lowd,
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Least their Breath infect the Houses.
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April. IV.
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In this by Mishap.
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Southask had a clap,
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Which pepper'd our Gracious Master:
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And therefore i'th' Spring,
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He must Physick his Thing,
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And venture no new Disaster.
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May. V.
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This Month is too good,
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And too lusty his Blood,
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To be for Business at leasure,
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With his Confessors leave,
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Honest Bridget may give,
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The Fumbler Royal his Pleasure.
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June. VI.
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The Brains of the State,
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Have been too hot of late,
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They have manag'd all Business in rapture:
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And to call us in June,
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Is much to the same Tune,
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Being mad to the end of the Chapter.
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July VII.
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This Season was made,
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For Camp, and Parade,
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Where with the Expence of his Treasures,
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Of much Sweat and Pains,
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Discreetly he Trains,
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Such Men, as will break all his Measures.
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August. VIII.
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This Month did advance
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Our Projects in France,
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As Bartholomew Remembers
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But alas they want force,
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To take the same Course,
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With Our Heretical Members.
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September IX.
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They cannot now meet,
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For the Progress was set,
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But they find it a scurvy Fashion:
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To ride, and to ride,
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To be snub'd and deny'd,
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By every good man in the Nation.
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October. X.
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Now Hunting comes in,
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That Liscence for Sin,
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That do's with a Cloak befriend him,
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For if the Queen knows,
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What at Grahams he do's,
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His Divine Right can hardly defend him,
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November. XI.
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November might do,
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For ought that we know:
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But that the King promis'd by chance Sirs,
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And his word before,
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Was pawn'd for much more,
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Then er'e 'twill be able to Answer.
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December. XII.
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The last of the year,
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Resemblance does bear,
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To their hopes and fortune declining:
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Ne'er hope for success,
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Day grows less and less,
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And the Sun once so high has done shining
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EPILOGUE.
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I.
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You Gypsies of Rome,
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That run up and down,
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And with Miracles people Cozen:
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By the help of some Saint,
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Get the Month that you want,
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And make Thirteen of the Dozen.
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II.
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You see the old Year
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Wont help yea, 'tis clear,
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And therefore to save your honour:
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Get a New Sun and Moon,
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And the work is half done,
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And Faith I think not sooner,
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