Come buy a Mouse-Trap, Or, a new way to catch an old Rat: Being a true relation of one Peters a Post of Roterdam, who temping
an honest woman to leudnesse, was by her and her husband catch in a Mouse Trap, by what meanes the following Story shall relate.
To the tune of, Packingtons Pound.
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THis Nation long time hath bin plagued with old Rats,
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And bin at great charges to keepe them good Cats,
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[?] one great black Rat now as it doth appeare,
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[?] put a Faire Woman in bodily feare,
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But he being in hast,
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Was taken at last,
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[?] Woman was glad when the danger was past,
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But certaine you shall have no need of a Cat,
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Come buy a new Mouse-Trap to catch an old Rat.
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Good morrow faire Mistrisse, good morrow (quoth she)
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I would we were better acquainted (quoth he)
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You may if you please Sir, the Woman reply'd,
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For why, my poore Spirit is free from all pride:
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He gave her a Shilling,
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The woman seem'd willing,
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Then straight the old Rat, and the Mouse fell a billing,
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But certaine you shall have no need of a Cat, etc.
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Then unto the Taverne they went with all speed,
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And there they were wonderous merry indeed;
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The old Rat was hungery, and aim'd at her fall,
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The Woman was honest and crafty withall,
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He call'd her his Honny,
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And proffer'd her Money,
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What should an old Mungrell doe with a young Conny?
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But certaine we shall have no need of a Cat, etc.
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He praised her Foot and he praised her Hand,
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And faine he would have her now at his command,
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She told him her Husband was gone out of Town,
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And he should lye with her all Night for a Crown.
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A Crowne he did give her,
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Which well did relieve her,
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And so the old Doatard was forc'd to believe her.
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but certaine you shall have no need of a Cat, etc.
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Ile lay the Key under the Doore Sir (quoth she)
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And then about mid-night you may come to me,
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Alas Mistrisse sweet Lips you doe me great wrong,
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For I am not able to tarry so long:
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My Neighbours (quoth she)
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Takes notice of me,
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When they are asleep, then the businesse must be,
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but certaine you shall have no need of a Cat, etc.
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Then by much perswasion at length they did part,
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And she took her leave of her old new Sweet-heart,
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She went to her husband & straight did declare it,
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Who laughed m[o]st heartily when he did heare it,
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He highly commends her,
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And thus much befriends her,
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That he with assistance behold now attends her,
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But certaine we shall have no need of a Cat, etc.
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Husband (quoth she) if by me you'l be ruled,
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By me this old Doatard again shall be fooled.
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When he at night comes for to make me his whore,
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He'l grope with his hand for the Key of the doore,
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A Mouse-Trap their set,
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O doe not forget,
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And there you may catch him, & teach him more wit,
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But certaine we shall have no need of a Cat,
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Come buy a new Mouse-Trap to catch an old Rat.
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HE did then according as she him advised,
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A better Project was never devised,
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Peters the Post then came posting with speed,
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And there he was catcht by the Fingers indeed,
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His Fingers were toare,
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Which made him to roare,
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The old Rat was never so plagued before,
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But certaine we shall have no need of a Cat,
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Come buy a new Mouse-Trap to catch an old Rat.
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He call'd to the Woman to shew him some pitty,
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And there he sung forth a most pittifull Ditty,
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The Man he made answer, & call'd him sweet-hony,
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Quoth he art thou come for to bring me more mony,
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Some money Ile give thee,
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If thou wilt relieve mee,
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And for my offences now freely forgive mee,
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But certaine you shall have no need of a Cat, etc.
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Five pounds he did give him, and fell on his knees,
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He askt him forgivenes, which when the man sees,
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He draws out his sword then & makes him believe,
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he'd cut off his head now, which made him to grieve,
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But I did heard say,
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This Rat run away,
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And did through feare his Breeches bewray,
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But certaine we shall have no need of a Cat, etc.
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Peters the Post-man next day did lament,
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And all the sweet Sisters were much discontent,
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He might have had any of them at command,
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Without any trouble, the case so did stand:
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These sweet Babes of Grace,
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Told him to his face,
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For hunting strange flesh, they would him displace,
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but certaine we shall have no need of a Cat, etc.
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All you married men now, rejoyce you and say
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Our wives are all honest, and teach us a way,
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If they so continue, to keep our heads cleare
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From hornes, which a many do causelessly feare,
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And you that make Traps,
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be your good haps
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To flourish, if women doe scape private claps,
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but certaine you shall have no need of a Cat, etc.
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Now all you good women that lead honest lives,
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And would be accounted to be honest wives,
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If you in the Street doe meet such a Knave,
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Tell him at home Sir a Mouse-Trap you have,
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make them ashamed,
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When they heare it named,
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And you for your modesty ever be famed,
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But certaine we shall have no need of a Cat,
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Come buy a new Mouse-Trap to catch an old Rat.
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