Advice to the Ladies of
LONDON, In the Choice of their Husbands.
To an Excellent new Court Tune.
This may be Printed, R.P.
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LAdies of London both wealthy and fair,
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whom every Town Fop is pursuing,
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Still of your Persons and Purses take care
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the greatest deceit lies in Wooing:
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From the first rank of the bonny brisk sparks
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their Vices I here will discover
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Down to the basest mechanick Degree
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that so you may chuse out your Lover.
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First for the Courtier look to his Estate
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before he to far be proceeding,
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[He] of Court Favours and Places will prate,
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[a]nd settlements make of his Breeding:
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Nor wear the yoak of dull Country Clown,
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although they are fat in their Purses;
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Brush you with Brissles and toping full Fowls
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make Love to their Dogs and their Horses.
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But above all, the rank Citizen hate;
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the Court or the Country chuse rather;
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Would you have a Blockhead that gets an Estate
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by the Sins of the Cuckold his Father?
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The sneaking Clown intreaging does mar,
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the Prentices huffing and ranting,
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Cit. puts on his Sword, when without Temple-Bar
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and goes to Whitehall a Gallanting.
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Let no spruce Offricer keep you in awe,
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the Sword is a thing Transitory;
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Nor be blown up by the Lungs of the Law,
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a World has been cheated before you:
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Soon you will find your Captain grow bold
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and then 'twill be hard to get from him,
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But if the Lawyer touch your Copy-hold
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the Devil can ne'r bring you from him.
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Fly like the Plague from the huffing brave Boys
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that Court you with many Bravadoes,
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Tyr'ing your sences with Bumbast and Noise
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and Stories brought from the Barbadoes:
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And besides, ever the Doctor, that Fool,
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who seeking to mend your Condition,
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Tickles your Pulse, peeps in your Close-stool,
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then sets up a famous Physitian.
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Chuse not a spark that has known the Town,
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who makes it his Practice to Bully,
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You'd better take up with a Country Clown
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he'l make an officious Cully;
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You with a word may his Passion appease
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and make him a Cuckold at leasure;
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Give him but money to live at his ease,
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you may follow Intregues at your Pleasure.
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Neither admire much a Man that is wise,
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if e're you intend to deceive him,
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He cunning Plots and Intreagues will devise
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and trap you, e're you shall perceive him.
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Therefore beware that he never disclose
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your Tricks, if he do's he will slight you;
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He'l keep a gay Mistriss under your nose,
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if it be but on purpose to spight you.
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But if you'd thrive, and grow wealthy apace,
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then marry a doting old Sinner;
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What if you view there Old Time in his Face,
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you will by that bargain be winner;
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You may have lusty Gallants good store,
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if you can produce but th' Guinea,
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And those young Coxcombs your Face will adore
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if this don't please, Old Nick is in you.
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