The ESSEX BALLAD.
To an old Tune new reviv'd.
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IN Essex much renown'd for Calves,
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And giving Verdicts in by halves,
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For Oysters, Agues, and for Knaves
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of Faction.
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One Peer, and Men of Worship four,
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With Gentlemen some half a score,
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Did draw in ten Dutch Ells of Bore
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to Action
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The Squire, whose Name does famous grow
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As Marcus Tullius Cicero,
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And keeps true Time with Sir A------
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--- A------
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As freely gave himself his Hand,
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As once his Voice to rule the Land,
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By such as should not understand
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too rashly.
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The Rout that erst did roar so loud,
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A M------ and a H------
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Are of their Choice now grown so proud,
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you'd wonder:
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And these State-Tinkers must be sent
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To stop the Leaks of Government,
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Grown crazy now, and almost rent
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in sunder.
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His Honour first set all his Hands,
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Each Members next in order stands;
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The Rabble, without If's or And's,
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subscratch it.
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The Cause, not obsolete, though old,
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Like Insects lay in Winter cold,
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And warm Petitions (they were told)
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would hatch it.
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Corn bore a price in Cromwels days,
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Nor did we want a vent for Bays;
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Nay, even Calves were several ways
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advanced:
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And then we fear'd not wicked Plots;
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The Godly serv'd to cut our Throats,
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Though Agents for the Pope, as Oates
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and Prance said.
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Those Reasons did so much prevail,
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That they petition'd Tooth and Nail,
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To have the Soveraign strike Sail,
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and stand by:
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While th' Parliament had sate some years,
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To drive out Pope with Presbyters,
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And try the Babylonish Peers,
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and Danby.
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For how can Corn and Wool be dear,
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Since Popish Lords drink little Beer,
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Eat Fish, and very seldom wear
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our Woollen?
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Nay, even their Horses are afraid
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Of Treason in the Manger laid;
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And the King's Evidence dismay'd
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their Pullen.
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These Greivances, with others many,
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(Too long for Ballad of a Peny)
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Drove on a Herd of Clowns to any
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adventure.
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Those Brands, which in the days of Yore,
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Unmanufactur'd Parchment bore;
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And when Farms lett, sign'd heretofore
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Indenture.
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In Hieroglyphick rows were set
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Like Oriental Alphabet;
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And least the King should quite forget
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the Senate,
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Their Hinds lay whip and whistling by,
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Humbly to councel Majesty;
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And what they could not read would try
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to Pen at.
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The Milk-maid hop'd old comfort's in't,
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Since Bodkins once did Breeches Mint,
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And straight subscrib'd their Butter-print
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to Creamer:
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But these were all but single gains,
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And hardly worth their toyl and pains,
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The Cause wants vigour, and disdains
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a Dreamer.
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This dallying therefore to prevent,
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An Anti-popish Bull was sent,
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The Emblem of the Government,
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to baiting:
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Where Butchers, Tinkers, Ostlers go,
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Tapsters and Broom-men all a row;
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And Carters for the sport left Ho
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and Haiting.
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Th'unanswerable Scotch-Cloth Men,
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Taps, Sives, Chairs, and Coney-skin;
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Beggers and Boys all throng'd, and then
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Egyptians.
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This Honourable Covey met,
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Hedge draws the Members Setting-Net;
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And gets from all, without Regret,
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Subscriptions.
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When this great Council was dismiss'd,
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They found that several Yards of Fist
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Were wanting to compleat the List,
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and order'd,
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Seven Elders to disperse the Deed,
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To those of the Geneva Creed,
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Brethren to such as on the Tweed
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are border'd.
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These trudg'd a Conventicling;
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To pray the Lord, and beg the King;
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The Congregation sign'd the thing
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Sans Scruple.
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Those Scholars that could write, they bribe
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To prompt and proxy every side;
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And these did personally subscribe
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Centuple.
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But now the time draws on apace,
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And Member itches for his place,
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The Knights and Gentlemen five brace
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assemble:
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And brought the Muster-Roll to Court,
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Though Charles did hardly thank 'em for't;
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But made 'em with a sharp retort
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to tremble.
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Now God preserve our King and Queen
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From Pyebald Coats, and Ribons green;
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Let neither Knave nor Fool be seen
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about 'em:
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And those that will not say Amen,
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Let 'em Petition once again,
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For every one the Shire has, ten
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to rout 'em.
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