A Caution for SCOLDS:
OR,
A True way of Taming a SHREW.
To the Tune of, Why are my Eyes still flowing.
This may be Printed, R.P.
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A Noble Man he Marry'd with a cruel Scold,
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Who in her humours would ne'r be controul'd,
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So that he was almost aweary of his Life,
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By the cross humours of his froward Wife:
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Although he show'd himself exceeding kind,
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Yet she was still of a turbulent mind;
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Husband and Servants her Fury must feel,
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For in their Ears she would Ring them a Peal.
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When any Friend approach'd the presence of her Lord,
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By this vile Shrew they were strangely abhor'd;
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With cruel frowns and Railings she would them salute
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Tho' they were Persons of worthy Repute,
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All was a case, for she would have her Will,
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And the whole house with Confusion she'd fill;
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So that for fear of the heat of her Fray,
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They have been forc'd to run packing away.
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It was his chance to make a worthy noble feast,
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Inviting full forty couple at least,
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Both Lords & Earls, with vertuous Ladies of high fame
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Who in true friendship accordingly came:
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All sorts of Dainties he then did prepare,
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No cost nor charge in the least did he spare;
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But ere they could to their Banquetting fall,
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Sirs, you shall hear how she welcom'd them all.
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When she beheld the costly Dishes of rich Meat,
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This Shrew had not any Stomach to Eat,
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But did cry out, I shall be Ruin'd at this rate,
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This is enough to consume an Estate:
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Before she any more words did reply,
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She made both Bottles and Dishes to flye;
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Both Friends and Husband she then did abuse,
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Asking him how he dare be so profuse?
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Like Thunder loud, her voice she straight began to raise,
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Which made the Guest to stand all in amaze,
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Who never saw the like in all their lives before,
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Dishes of Meat they lay strow'd on the floor:
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Thus in disorder they all went their way,
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Each one was glad they were out of the fray:
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Then said her Husband, did ever Man know,
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Any poor Mortal so plagu'd with a Shrow.
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Now the next day he to a skilful Doctor went,
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Promising that he would give him content,
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If he could cure the cause of a Distracted Wife,
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Which almost made him aweary of Life:
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Yes, quoth the Doctor, i'le do it ne'r fear,
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Bring her, for now 'tis the Spring of the Year;
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I'le take the Lunacy out of her Brains,
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Or else I won't have a Groat for my pains.
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Then home he went, and sent her thither out of hand,
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Now when the Shrow she did well understand
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All their intent, she cal'd the Doctor sneaking Knave,
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Now when he see she began for to Rave;
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Straightways the Doctor did bind her in Bed,
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Letting her Blood, likewise Shaving her Head:
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Sirrah, said she, I would have you to know,
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That you shall suffer for serving me so.
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Madam, said he, I know you are beside your Wits,
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But I will soon bring you out of those fits;
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I'le cut your Tongue, and when a Gallon you have bled
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'Twill Cure that violent Noise in your Head:
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Pray Sir, said she, don't afflict me so sore,
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I'le ne'r offend my sweet Husband no more:
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Thus by sharp Usage and keeping her low,
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He had the fortune to Conquer the Shrow.
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After some time, he came to see his Wife at last,
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Where she begg'd pardon for all that was past;
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Saying, her fits for evermore she would refrain,
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If he'd be pleas'd to receive her again;
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My former Foilies I pray now forgive,
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I'le ne'r offend you no more while I live:
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Then in much love they both homeward did go,
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Thus has he made a sweet Wife of a Shrow.
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