The Rump serv'd in with a Grand Sallet.
OR,
A NEW BALLAD, To the Tune of the Blacksmith.
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1. POetical Muses have fallen heavy as a Mallet,
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Upon the Poor RUMP for disgusting their Pallet,
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To cure the Disrellish take now a Grand Sallet.
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Which nobody can deny.
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2. This RUMP is deriv'd by lineal descent,
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As the undoubted Heir, and excrement,
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Of the yet perpetual Parliament.
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Which, etc.
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3. This was such an Idol, as the Zelots did strain
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Their Purses and Consciences for to maintain,
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Though it prov'd both of Church and Kingdome the Bane.
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Which, etc.
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4. The Tail of the Dragons not so bad as this RUMP,
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Which hath three such Kingdomes woren to the very Stump,
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And must leave them for the time a confused Lump.
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Which, etc.
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5. Our Laws, Lives, Lands, Liberties, were upon sale
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By this everlasting RUMP, Fag-end, or Tail,
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Yea to save our very Souls they refus'd to take bail.
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Which, etc.
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6. A Tail which was eaten up almost of the Pox,
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That stunck more like Carion, than ever did Fox,
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Or that which was rosted of late at the Stocks.
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Which, etc.
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7. A RUMP that the People did hate, scorn, and curse,
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As a Devil incarnate, or of somewhat that's worse,
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Of Schisme and Rebellion both Mother and Nurse.
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Which, etc.
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8. The Orthodox Clergy they forc'd for to fly,
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They were plunder'd, and sequester'd without reason why,
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But only because that they could not comply.
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Which, etc.
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9. Then as guilty of Popery the Common Prayer Book was dam'd,
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And with all kind of News-books the Churches were cram'd,
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Venting Lyes, Non-sence, Blasphemy, and what's not to be nam'd.
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Which, etc.
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10. Then the ancient order of Bishops went down,
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Which in the Church Christian was ever of Renown,
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The Proverb proves true, No Miter, no Crown.
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Which, etc.
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11. In whose stead were planted Elders and Presbyters,
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Which impowr'd, break Princes, and people in fitters,
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And with their Classes and Asses them all to besquitters.
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Which, etc.
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12. They call'd then a Synod which scarce could agree
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I' th' space of three years whether there be a TRINITIE,
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From such pur-pure-blind Levites GOD bless you and me.
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Which, etc.
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13. That Assembly was just like the Members that chose it,
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Without Learning and Honesty, all the World knows it,
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Fit Jakes-farmers for the RUMP, they could twang and nose it.
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Which, etc.
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14. They combin'd with the Scots to bring in a Directory,
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Tending neither to our Good, nor yet to Gods Glory;
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'Tis a shame that Tom Fuller should name 't in Church-story.
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Which, etc.
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15. For whereas a Christian should be taught how to pray,
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And both rightly to believe, and humbly to obey,
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Nor Lords Prayer, nor Creed, nor Decalogue have they.
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Which, etc.
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16. Then curse ye Meroz, in each Pulpet did thunder,
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To perplex the poor people and keep them in wonder,
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Till all the Reins of Government were broke quite asunder.
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Which, etc.
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17. Then Saint Pauls the Mother-church of this City and Nation,
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Was turn'd to a Stable, O strange profanation!
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Yet this was one of the best fruits of their Reformation.
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Which, etc.
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18. Of all that is Christian they make no great natter,
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So they may but gather, they care not who scatter;
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Their Triers would approve none but such as bribe and flatter.
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Which, etc.
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19. Instead of an Use of Divine Consolation
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These Hypocrites publisht a late Exhortation
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To trepan and beggar this City and Nation.
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Which, etc.
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20. If they be establish'd, bid England farewell,
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And rather than live here i' th' Suburbs of Hell,
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Choose Turkey, or Tartarie, or anywhere to dwell.
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Which, etc.
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21. This Form will ne're suit with the English Complexion
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Which is free and too Heroick to yield base Subjection,
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Or to take from a Pope in each Parish correction.
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Which, etc.
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22. Whoever did Lord it like these Self-seeking Elves,
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Which have forc'd us on Covenants, Vows, Oaths, & other shelves,
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That should warn us for the future to look to ourselves.
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Which, etc.
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23. All sober Men know that 'tis a mischievous Fate,
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A Kingdome to turn into a popular State,
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And Episcopacy into a Presbyterate.
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Which, etc.
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24. Yet the Parliament set up the pure Members five,
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Both of Church and Kingdome the Downfall to contrive,
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That by the Ruins of our Sion this their Babel might thrive.
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Which, etc.
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25. The Presbyters Three Years were long since expir'd,
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And yet, as if they had not our Patience quite tir'd,
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To spur-gall us still they have afresh conspir'd.
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Which, etc.
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26. Then why so many Bonfires of late in the City?
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Why such ringing of Bells, and rejoycing? 'Tis pity
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That ye should be so gull'd by the Rump, that do's out-wit ye.
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Which, etc.
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27. For the House is like Hydra, if one Head ye kill,
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Another starts up, and another full as ill;
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So, though one Rump is gone, yet another sits still.
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Which, etc.
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28. They have alter'd the Scene, the People to please,
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Because in Commotions they must them appease;
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We have thus chang'd our Bed, but not our Disease.
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Which, etc.
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29. Their shifting and shuffling is but to decoy us,
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While Spiders do spin, their Cob-webs annoy us,
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If the House be n't swept clean, ere long they'l destroy us.
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Which, etc.
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30. If they mean as they talk of a Parliament free,
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How comes it that such Qualifications we see,
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That no one known ROYALIST can chosen be?
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Which, etc.
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31. The best things corrupted do ever prove worst,
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Then that the next Parliament make amends for the first,
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Let's choose no more Zelots, lest in peices we burst.
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Which, etc.
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32. For when as the Schismaticks th' House do prevail,
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Then the Head and all the Members are led by the Tail,
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So that all parts in doing their Duty needs must fail.
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Which, etc.
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33. Let the Militia be setled ere you part with your Money,
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Else you'l find them gall and wormwood whom you take for honey,
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And the Souldiers will insult o're as soon as they've undone ye.
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Which, etc.
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34. 'Tis believ'd the three Generals, Fairfax, Waller, and Brown,
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Are sorry now for what they once helpt to pull down,
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And 'tis hop'd they'l redeem it by Deeds of Renown.
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Which, etc.
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35. We are sensible now that there is no one thing
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Can full Satisfaction to all Interests bring
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But onely CHARLES the Second, our known lawful KING.
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Which, etc.
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36. Let's dally no longer, but like Brittains let's stand
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For GOD and KING CHARLES, and the Laws of the Land;
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Let's up and be doing, let's do 't out of Hand.
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Which nobody can deny.
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