The Long-Nos'd LASS:
OR,
The Taylors, Millers, Tinkers, Tanners, and Glovers; with a great number of
other Trades-Men, dash't out of Countenance by a Sow-ships Beauty, to their great Discon-
tent, and her perpetual trouble.
Tune of, The Country Farmer.
This may be Printed, R.P.
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O Did you not hear of a Rumor of late,
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Concerning a person whose Fortune was great,
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Her Portion was Seventeen thousand good pound,
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But yet a good Husband was not to be found:
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The reason of this I will tell to you now,
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Her Visage was perfectly just like a Sow,
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And many to Court her came flocking each day,
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But seeing her, straight they run frighted away.
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Amongst all the rest a fine Taylor also,
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Resolv'd to this person a Suitor to go;
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Quoth he, at the present alas I am poor,
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Of Silver and Gold I shall then have good store:
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'Tis Cowcomber-time, and I now have no Trade,
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But if I do get her, I then shall be made,
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Therefore I will put on the best of my Cloaths,
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My Hat, with my Band, and my Holy-day-Hose.
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The hopes of this Fortune his fancy did feed,
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And therefore to her he did hasten with speed
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When coming he straight for this person did ask;
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She came her own self in a fine Visor-Mask;
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And said, I am she Sir, pray what would you have?
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I'm come, quoth the Taylor, your Love for to crave,
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She open'd the door, and bid him welcome in,
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And then to his Courting he straight did begin
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The Taylor went on with a noble good grace,
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Like one of much Courage his Love to Embrace;
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Thought he, with a Fortune I now shall be blest,
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But listen I pray to the Cream of the Jest:
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She pull'd off her Vizor, and turn'd her about,
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And straightway the Taylor beheld her long Snout;
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Ah! how he was frighted and run out of door,
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And vow'd he would never come near her no more.
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The next was a Mi[l]ler, who to her did Ride,
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Resolved he was for to make her his Bride;
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Quoth he, as I now am a right honest Man,
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I'le Wed her and Love her as well as I can:
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For Beauty, O let it be now as it will,
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As long as she brings me good Grist to the Mill;
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Both Silver and Gold I shall have at command,
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With which I will Purchase me Houses and Land.
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I now in conceit am as great as a Lord
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What pleasures soever the World can afford,
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I'le have it, and likewise in Silver will shine,
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Then Gillian will wonder to see me so fine:
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To Robin my Servant i'le give my great Bowl,
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With which I was formerly us'd to take Toll,
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And likewise the Mill, if I Marry this Maid,
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For never no more will I follow the Trade.
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As he was a riding to her on his Mare,
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He thus was a building Castles in the Air;
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But when he beheld her most amiable Face,
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Alas! he was soon in a sorrowful case:
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His hopes were confounded; away he did run,
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Saying, should I have her, a thousand to one
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But I shall be frighted, when her I behold,
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Therefore I'le not have her for Silver or Gold.
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Both Tinkers and Tanners, and Glovers also
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Came to her. the Money encouraged them so;
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Nay, thousands came to her then every day,
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Each striving to carry this Beauty away:
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But when they beheld this most ordinary Stuff,
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The sight of her Visage did give them enuff;
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Yet if she be Marry'd while here she does live,
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A perfect account of the Wedding I'le give.
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