The STATES-MANS Last Will and Testament; OR, His worthy Legacies left to his beloved Cronies, for whom he had a particular kindness. Tune of, O rare Popery.
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ALas! I am taken most monstrous ill,
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Sweet Writer bring hither your Paper and Quill,
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For here I am ready to make my last Will,
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And leave my Legacies, delicate Legacies,
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Chancellors Legacies, O.
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My wonderful portions I here will divide,
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According as Merit my reason shall guide,
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Let Lucifer have my invincible Pride,
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Sing O brave Legacy, etc.
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My Covetous heart now as bitter as Gall,
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I leave to old Misers in hopes that they shall,
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Like me get in Gold here the Devil and all,
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Sing O rare Legacies, etc.
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My small Guts let honest Musitioners take,
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That they of the same may Fiddle strings make,
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And then scrape my Guts till their very hearts ake,
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Sing O brave Legacy, Chancellors Legacy,
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A delicate Legacy, O.
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And as for my Nose I will leave that alone,
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To my dearest Friend that makes pitiful moan,
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Because he has never a Nose of his own,
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Sing O rare Legacy, etc.
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My unruly Tongue which run at that rate,
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And bantred men out of their reason of late,
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I leave it to Fish Women at Billingsgate,
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Sing O rare Legacy, etc.
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My Brains I bequeath but I know not to who,
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But hold, I remember the Jesuit Crew,
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Theyll serve them for plotting more mischief to do;
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Sing O rare Legacy, etc.
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My old empty Skull to the Pope now shall go,
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In token of Favours which he did bestow,
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Twill make him a lusty large Punch Bowl I know,
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Sin O rare Legacy, etc.
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My honoured Reverend Father the Pope,
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He sent his sweet Son here a sanctified Rope,
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But I have no need of the same now I hope,
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Ill leave that Legacy, delicate Legacy,
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to one of the Jesuit Crew.
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My lusty large Conscience which Bribes did receive,
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To some Corrupt Lawyer I freely do leave,
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That honest Men he may of Living bereave,
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A worthy Legacy, etc.
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My Body I into the West do return,
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It will make the Wives there a good butter Churn,
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Thus for my bad deeds I may do one good turn,
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Sing O rare Legacy, etc.
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Now sign it and seal it according to Law,
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The Major shall neer keep the Minor in awe,
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Nor wrong them so much as the weight of a straw,
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Of these my Legacies, Chancellors Legacies,
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delicate Legacies, O.
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