Fore-Warned, Fore-armed:
OR, A
CAVEAT to BATCHELORS,
IN THE
Character of a Bad Woman.
Faemineum servile genus crudele superbum, Mant. Ecl. 3.
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A Bad Woman! Heav'n bless us, Sirs! who dare
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Approach so near, to write her Character?
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Plagues owe their Birth to her envenom'd Breath;
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To [see] her's dangerous; to touch her, Death.
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All Torments, and all Ills, at first did grow
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From her, and thence (as from a Spring) still flow.
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He favour'd her too much, that call[']d her worse
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Than all th' Ingredients cramm'd into a Curse.
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The Bane of Mankind, Foe to Innocence,
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First-born of Hell, and Poysons Quintessence;
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Creations Blot, and Natures great'st Disgrace,
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The Seven Deadly Sins drawn in One Face.
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A Sex for Servitude by Heav'n design'd,
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Yet the most proud and cruel of Humane kind:
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Bold, flattering, fond, disdainful, idle, vain,
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A double Tongue, false Heart, and giddy Brain;
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Inconstant, gadding, tatling, simple, light,
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Compos'd of Rashness, Self-love, Fraud, and Spite;
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Revengeful, sullen, covetous, ambitious,
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Always complaining, envious, superstitious;
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Faithless, ungrateful, subtle, troublesom;
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Contentious with her Neighbours, more at home:
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Who always lives in the Intemperate Zone;
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For Means and Measure she'l be rul'd by none;
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But chilling Frost, or scorching Dog-days proves,
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Mortally hates, or else too fondly loves.
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The Studies of her Youth are wanton Dances,
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Lascivious Songs, Plays, Masquerades, Romances;
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These antedate her guilty, and begin
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To debauch her long before she's ripe for Sin.
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She ne're regards the Laws of Right and Just,
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But tramples all things to promote her Lust.
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The Wickedness her Strength to act denies,
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She by Deceit and Subtilty supplies.
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With seeming Modesty she baits her Hooks,
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Consults her Glass to frame enticing Looks,
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Li[sp]s, minces, simpers, and instructs her Eyes
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W[hat] Glances are most charming to surprise:
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Her Face (as Tavern-Bush) bedeck'd with Toys,
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Our [ea]sie Youth into her Toyl decoys:
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Her Curls, like Streamers waving, seem to court
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Each spritely Combatant to storm the Fort;
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Whilst naked panting Breasts too plainly shew
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Th' insatiate Thirst that she endures below.
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And though in Single Life she oft be naught,
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Yet when at length some doating Fop sh'hath caught,
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And into wretched Noose of Wedlock brought,
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By Midwife-Rules she boldly goes to Bed,
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And on the Novice pawns a Maiden-head:
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Who starts next Morn to see her in his Arms;
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She's perfect Hag, when stript of Arts gay Charms;
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The painted Roses of her Cheeks are dropt,
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Hunch-backs discover'd, with Pads underpropt;
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He's forc'd with strong Perfumes to guard his Nose
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From poys'nous Whiffs of Breath, Arm-pits, and Toes.
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Ah cursed Love! well art thou feigned Blind.
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His mistake's no less fatal in her Mind.
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Handsom, she proves a Wench; Deform'd, a Witch;
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If Poor, she makes him Beggar; Slave, if Rich:
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Or if sh' affects the Name of Virtuous Woman,
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(That's one who sins but seldom, is not Common)
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She then takes privilege, and thinks she may
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Justly rant, domineer, and disobey.
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Her Husband soon into Consumption cast:
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(For Back and Purse do both together waste)
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Whiles to allay, not quench her wanton Fires,
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Sometimes she Dildoes,sometime Stalion hires.
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Fine Clothes, new Fashions, Gossiping, rich Fare,
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And sturdy Gallants, take up all her Care.
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Honour she counts an empty term, no tye;
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Her Zeals Pretence; her Study, Vanity;
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Her Beauty, Paint; her Wit, Baudery refin'd;
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Her Kisses, Baits; her Love, a Snare desgin'd;
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Her Soul (if she have one) so foul and base,
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Hells half asham'd itself t'afford it place.
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But hold; enough. Let none be angry here,
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And think our Pen too sharp a Nib doth bear:
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All this of a Bad Womans understood:
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But prithee (Reader) shew me One that's Good.
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