The Banishment of Poverty, by His Royal Highness
J.D.A.
To the Tune of, The last Good-Night.
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POx sa that pultron Poverty,
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wa worth the time that I him saw,
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Sen first he laid his fang on me,
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My self from him I dought ne're draw.
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His wink to me has been a Law,
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He haunts me like a Penny-dog,
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Of him I stand far greater aw
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Than Pupil does of Pedagogue.
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The first time that he met with me,
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Was at a Clachan in the West,
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Its name I trow Kilbarchan be,
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Where Habbies drons blew many a blast.
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There we shook hands, cald be his cast,
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An ill deed may that Custron die,
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For there he gripped me full fast,
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Where first I fell in Cautionry.
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Yet I had hopes to be reliev'd
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And fred from that full laidly Lown,
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Fernzier when Whigs were ill mischiev'd
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And forc'd to fling their weapons down.
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When we chas'd them fra Glasgow Town,
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I with that Swinzer thought to graple,
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But when Indemnity came down,
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The ladron pow'd me by the thraple.
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And yet in hopes of some Relief
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A Rade I made to Arinfrew,
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Where they did bravely buff my beeff,
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And made my Body black and blew:
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At Justice Court I them pursue,
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Expecting help by their Reproof,
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Indemnity brought nothing due,
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The D--- a farthing for my Loof.
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But wishing that I would ride East,
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To trot on foot I soon would tyre,
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My page allow'd me not a beast,
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I wanted guilt to pay the hyre.
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He and I lap o're many a fire,
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He hooked me at Calder Cult,
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But lang or I wan to Snyps-myre
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The Ragged Rogue took me a whilt.
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By Holin-bush and Bridge of Bony,
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We bicker down towards Bankier,
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We fear'd no Reavers for our money,
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Nor Whilly-wha's to grip our gear.
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My tattred Tutor took no fear,
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Tho we did travail in the mirk,
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He thought it fit when we drew near
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To filsh a Forage at Falkirk.
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No man would open me the door
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Because my Commorad stood by,
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They dread full ill I was right poor
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By my forcasten Company.
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Then Cunningham did me espy,
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By hue and hair he brought me in.
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He swore we should not part so dry,
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Though we were naked to the skin.
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We baid all Night, but lang e're day
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My curst Companion bade me rise,
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I start up soon and took my way,
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He needed not to bid me twice.
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But what to do we did advise,
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In Lithgow we might not sit down,
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On a Scots Groat we baited thrice,
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And in at Night to Edinburgh Town.
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We held the Lang-gate to Leith-wynd,
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Where poorest purses use to be,
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And in the Caltoun lodged fyne,
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Fit quarters for sik Companie.
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Yet the High-Town I fain would see,
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But that my Man did me discharge.
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He will'd me Blackburns Ale to prie,
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And muff't my baird it was right large.
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The morn I ventur'd up the wynd,
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And slung'd in at the Nether-bow,
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Thinking that Truiker for to tyne,
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Who does me damage what he dow.
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His Company he doth bestow
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On me to my great grief and pain:
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E're I the thrang could wrestle throw,
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The Lown was at my heels again.
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I grein'd to gang on the plain stanes,
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To see if Comerades wad me ken,
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We twa gade paceing there our lanes,
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The hungry hour 'twixt twelve and ane,
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When I kend no way for to fen,
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My guts rumbl'd like a Hurle barrow
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I din'd with Saints and Noblemen,
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Ev'n sweet St. Giles & Earl of Murray,
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Tykes Testment take him for his treat,
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I needed not my teeth to pike,
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Though I was in a cruel sweat,
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He set not by, say what I like:
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I call'd him Turk and traked Tyke,
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And wearied him with manie a curse;
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My bones were hard like a stone dyke,
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No Rig Marie was in my purse,
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Kind widow Caddel sent for me,
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To dine as she did oft forsooth,
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But ah! alas, that might not be,
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Her house was o're near the Tolbooth
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Yet God reward her for her love
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And kindness, which I had full found,
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Most readie still for my behove,
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Ere this Hells hound took her in hand
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I slipt my page and stour'd to Leith,
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To try my credit at the wine,
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But foul a drible fil'd my teeth,
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He gript me at the coffee sign.
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I sta down through the Nether wynd,
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My Lady Semples house was near!
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To enter there was my design,
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Where Povertie durst ne're appear,
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I din'd there, but I bade not long,
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My Lady fain would shelter me,
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But ah! alas I needs must gang,
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And leave that comelie companie:
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Her Lad convey'd me with a key,
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Out through the Garden to the fields
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Ere I the Links could graithlie see,
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My governour was at my heels,
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I dought not dance to pi[pe] or harp,
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I had no stock for cards and dice;
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But I suir to Sir William Sharp;
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Who never made his council nice:
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That little man he is Right wise,
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And sharp as any Brier can be,
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He bravelie gave me his advice,
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How I might poyson povertie.
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Quoth he, there grows hard by the Dyal
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In Hattons Garden bright and sheen,
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A soveraign herb call'd penny Royal,
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Whilk all the year grows fresh & green
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Could you but gatther fair and clean,
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Your business would not go backward,
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But let account of it be seen,
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From the physicians of Exchequer,
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Or if that Ticket ye bring with you,
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Come back to me you need not fear,
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For I some of that herb can give you,
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Whilk I have planted this same year,
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Your page it will cause disappear,
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Who waits on you against your will;
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To gather it I shall you lear,
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In my own Yard of Stonny hill,
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But when I dread that would not work
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I underthought me of a wile,
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How I might at my leasure lurk,
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My graceless Guardian to beguile:
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It's but my galloping a mile;
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Through Cannongate with little loss.
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Till I have Sanctuarie a while,
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Within the Girth of Abbey closs:
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There I wan in and blyth was I,
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When to the inner court I drew,
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My governour I did defy.
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For joy I clapt my wings and crew.
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There Messengers dare not pursue,
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Nor with their wands mens shoulders steer
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There dwells distressed Lairds enew
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In peace though they have little gear,
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There twa hours I did not tarie,
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Till my blest fortune was to see
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A sight sure by the mights of Mary,
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Of that brave Duke of Albanie.
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Where one blink of his princely eye,
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Put that foul foundling to the flight.
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Fra me he banisht povertie,
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And gart him take his last goodnight.
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