A
BALLAD
ON THE
BATTLE
OF THE
Two DUKES.
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1 TO Lordings proud I tune my Song,
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Who feast in Bower or Hall;
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Though Dukes you be, to Dukes I say,
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That Pride shall have a Fall.
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2 Now that this same it is right sooth
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Full plainly doth appear,
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From what befel John Duke of Guise
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And Nick of Lancastere.
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3 When Richard (Coeur de Lyon) reign'd
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(Which means a Lyon's Heart)
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Like him his Barons rag'd and roar'd,
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Each play'd a Lyon's part.
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4 A Word and Blow was then enough,
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Such Honour did them prick,
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If you but turn'd your Cheek, a Cuff;
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And if your A---s, a Kick.
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5 Look in their Face they tweak'd your Nose,
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At every turn fell to't;
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Come near they trod upon your Toes,
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They fought from Head to Foot.
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6 Of these the Duke of Lancastere
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Stood Paramount in Pride,
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He Kick'd and Cuff'd, and tweak'd and trode
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His Foes and Friends beside.
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7 Firm on his Front his Beaver sate
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So broad it hid his Chin;
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For why, he deem'd no Man his Mate,
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And scorn'd to tann his Skin.
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8 With Spanish Wool he dy'd his Cheeks,
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With Essence oild his Hair;
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No Vixon Civet-Cat more sweet,
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Nor more could scratch and tear.
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9 Right tall he made himself to show,
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Though made full short by God,
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And when that other Dukes did bow,
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This Duke did only nod.
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10 Yet courteous, blithe, and Debonaire,
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To Guise's Duke was He;
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Was never such a Loving pair,
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Why did they disagree?
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11 Oh thus it was, He lov'd him dear,
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And cast how to requite him;
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But having no Friend left but this,
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He deem'd it meet to fight him:
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12 Forthwith he drench'd his desp'rate Quill
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And thus He did indite,
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This Eve at Whisk Our Self will play,
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Sir Duke, be here to Night.
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13 Ah No, Ah No, the Guileless Guise
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Demurely did reply,
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I cannot go, nor yet can stand,
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So sore the Gout have I.
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14 The Duke in Wrath call'd for his Steeds,
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And fiercely drove them on;
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Lord, Lord, how rattled then the Stones,
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Oh King-like Kensington!
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15 All in a Trice on Guise he rush'd,
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Thrust out his Lady dear,
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He tweak'd his Nose, trod on his Toes,
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And smote him on the Ear.
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16 But mark how midst of Victory
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Fate plays and Old Dog Trick,
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Up leap'd Duke John and knock'd him down,
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And so down fell Duke Nick.
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17 Alas! O Nick, O Nicholas!
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Right did thy Gossips call thee;
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As who should say, alas the Day
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When John of Guise shall maul thee.
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18 For on thee did He clap his Chair,
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And on that Chair did sit,
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And look'd as if He meant therein
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To do what was not fit.
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19 Up didst thou look, oh woeful Duke!
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Thy Mouth yet durst not ope,
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Certes for Fear of finding there
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A T---d instead of Trope.
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20 Lie there thou Caitiff vile, quoth Guise,
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No Sheet is here to save thee,
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The Casement it is shut likewise,
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Beneath my Foot I have thee.
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21 If thou hast ought to say now speak.
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Then Lancastere did Cry,
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Know'st thou not me nor yet thyself,
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What thou, and what am I?
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22 Know'st thou not me who, God be prais'd,
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Have Brawl'd and Quarrel'd more
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Than all the Line of Lancastere
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That Battel'd heretofore.
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23 In Senates fam'd for many a Speech
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And what some awe must give ye
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Tho' now laid low beneath thy Breech
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Still of the C---------- Privy.
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24 Still of the D--------- Chancellor,
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Durante Life I have it;
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And turn, as now thou dost on me,
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My A--s on those that gave it.
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25 But now the Servants they rush'd in,
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And Duke Nick up leap'd He,
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I will not Cope against such Odds,
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But Guise I'll Fight with thee.
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26 To Morrow with thee I will Fight
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Under the Green-Wood-Tree.
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No not to Morrow but to Night,
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Quoth Guise, I'll meet with thee.
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27 And now the Sun declining low
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Bestreak'd with Blood the Skies,
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When with his Sword at Saddle Bow
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Rode forth the valiant Guise.
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28 Full gently pranc'd He o're the Down
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And rowl'd his Eye around,
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And from his Stirrup stretcht to find
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Who was not to be found.
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29 Long brandish'd He his Blade in Air,
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Long look'd the Field all o're,
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At length He spy'd the merry Men brown
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And eke the Coach and Four.
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30 From out the Boot bold Nicholas
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Did wave his Hand so white,
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As pointing out the gloomy Glade
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Whereas He meant to fight.
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31 All in that dreadful Hour so calm
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Was Lancastere to see,
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As if he meant to take the Air,
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Or only take a Fee.
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32 And so He did; for to Pump-Court
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His Strowling Wheels did run,
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Not that He shun'd the doubtful Strife,
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But Business must be done.
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33 Back in the dark by Brompton-Park
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He turn'd up thro' the Gore,
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So struck to Camden House so high,
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All in his Coach and Four.
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34 Meanwhile the Guise did fret and fume
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A Sight it was to see
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Benumb'd beneath the Evening Dews
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Under the Green Wood Tree.
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25 Then wet and weary home He far'd
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Sore muttering all the way,
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If e're I meet him Nick shall rue
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The Cudgel of that Day.
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36 Mean time on every Pissing Post
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I'll Paste this Recreant's Name,
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So every Passer-by shall read
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And Piss against the same.
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37 God save the King and grant more Wit
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Unto his Nobles all,
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To learn this Lesson from Duke Nick,
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That Pride will have a Fall.
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