The Batchelors Delight,
Being a pleasant new Song, shewing the happiness of a single life, and
the miseries that do commonly attend Matrimony.
To the Tune of the Kings delight, or, The young mans advice to his fellow
Batchelors.
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THe world's a Blister sweld with care
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much like unto a Bubble,
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Wherein poor men tormented are
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with women and with trouble,
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And every one that takes a wife,
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Adds sorrow to his life
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and makes his burden double.
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Whilst Adam was a Batchelor,
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in Eden he did tarry,
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It is an Eden upon earth,
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to live and never marry,
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Oh then what cause have wee to grieve,
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To think upon our mother Eve,
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Who made us all miscarry
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Sampson, they say, was a Champion stout,
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that fill'd the world with wonder:
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The proud Philistians he did rout,
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his blows did sound like Thunder;
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But when he courted false Dallila,
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The wicked whore did him betray;
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and so he was brought under,
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Job was a man that open lay,
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unto the spight of the Devil,
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Who took his goods and Sons away;
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but could we count him civil,
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Because he left him still his Nurse,
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Oh no! he left her for a curse,
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she was his greatest evil.
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A woman once was hang'd on a Tree,
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and some the Rope were cutting,
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Diogenes this sight did see,
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and spoke unto them strutting
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Would every Tree such fruit would bear,
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If so, fond fools those young men are,
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that e're would go a nutting.
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A Theef once rode up Holborn-hill,
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towards Oliver Cromwells Pallace;
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A Maid that bore him some good will,
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had begg'd him from the Gallows,
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Ah no, (quoth he) I'le go to the Gibb.
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And not be a Slave to my own rib,
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drive on the Cart good fellows.
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Marriage is Honourable indeed,
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but tell mee what's house keeping
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It makes the good mans Pockets bleed,
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his purse is alwaies weeping,
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Nay more, hee's alwaies full of care,
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Whilst he that is a Batchelor,
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Is fast and soundly sleeping.
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A Froward woman takes delight,
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to see her Husband vexed,
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Both morning, evening, noon and night,
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the poor man is perplexed,
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She brawls and scoulds, she frowns and pouts
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And to her speeches scoffs and flouts,
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are ever more annexed.
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Though he hath been at work all day,
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as hard as he is able
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Yet when he comes home without delay,
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she bids him rock the Cradle,
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And if he doth the same refuse,
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The durty Quean will him abuse,
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and beat him with the Ladle.
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He cannot quietly rest in bed,
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but every little season,
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The Childe doth cry and must be fed,
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and then she saith 'tis reason,
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That he should do 't, and let her sleep,
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The poor man he must silence keep,
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for talking would be Treason.
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Then certainly a Batchelors life,
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is a most precious Treasure
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He that doth suddenly marry a wife,
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will surely repent it at leisure
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For when he hath been snub'd and curb'd
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And almost all the night disturb'd,
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Yet must he rise at her pleasure.
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Robin ( quoth she) 'tis time to rise,
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and thumps him on the shoulder,
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The Hogs wants swilling in the sties,
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at length she speaketh bolder.
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Calling him Fool and Logger-head
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And with her feet quite out of the bed,
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she thrusts the poor house-holder,
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And therefore he that weds a mate,
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is like a horse in a Tether,
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Marriage and hanging go by fate,
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and therefore chuse you whether,
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For the three destinies have spun
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Knots for Hymen and for Dun.
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then let them go together.
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Man is a little world of himself,
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and therefore wanteth nothing,
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He needs not care for worldly pelf,
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so he have food and cloathing,
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And marriage is a fickle thing,
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Which sometime doth in love begin,
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and often ends in loathing,
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And therefore I will single live,
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in spight of lust and passion,
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Pure Virgins good examples give,
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and worth our imitation
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For before Matrimony arose,
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The mode of wearing yellow hose,
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and horns were out of fashion.
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And lastly to conclude my song,
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vain joy is but a Bubble,
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A double heart, and a double tongue
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hath fill'd the world with trouble
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And therefore to avoid all strife,
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'Tis best to lead a single life,
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wee will have nothing double.
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Finis.
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