A Tryal of skill, performed by a poor decay'd Gentlewoman.
Who Cheated a rich Grasier of Sevenscore pound, and left him a Child to keep.
If you will know, then listen a while,
And you shall know that which will make you smile.
The Tune is, Ragged and Torn.
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KInd Country-men list to my Ditty,
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I pray you whatever you be,
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I know that my case you will pitty,
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I pray then take warning by me:
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Sevenscore pounds I did lose,
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besides a fine Babe at Nurse,
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My Sweet-heart she did me abuse,
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and left me no Coin in my Purse:
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Take heed of bad women therefore,
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by women are men overthrown,
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And rich men are often made poor,
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when as they keep more then their own.
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I brought some Cattel to Town,
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and sold them for Sevenscore pound,
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But money-less then I went home,
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with sorrow incompassed round:
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A dainty fine Cloak-bag I had,
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within it my treasure I laid,
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My fortune now maketh me sad,
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to think how that I was betray'd.
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Take heed, etc.
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As through Cheapside I did pass,
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mistrusting no manner of harm,
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I met with a poor decay'd Lass,
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with a pritty fine Child in her arm:
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She seemed in habit, to be
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a Gentlewoman that was made poor,
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She asked relief then of me,
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then I thought to have made her my whore
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Take heed, etc.
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Quoth she, pray yield some relief,
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these words then unto me she said,
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Unto a poor wretch full of grief,
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a poor Gentlewoman decay'd:
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Fair Mistris, quoth I, I do grieve,
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to see you distressed to be,
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But I all your wants will relieve,
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if you will be ruled by me:
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Take heed, etc.
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Go with me unto my Inn,
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and there you shall lye at your ease,
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You never was brought up to Spin,
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but Gentlemens humours to please:
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I'le tell them that you are my wife,
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and this is my Child that you have,
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'Twas I that did breed all the strife,
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and with myself plaid the Knave.
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Take heed, etc.
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She seemed to be over-joy'd,
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and cast a Sheeps-eye upon me,
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She could not be better imploy'd,
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and so we did quickly agree:
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When unto the Inn I did come,
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her fingers did itch at my Pelf,
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I call'd for a large fair Room,
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for my Wife, my Child, and myself:
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Take heed of bad Women therefore,
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by women are men overthrown,
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And rich men are often made poor,
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when as they keep more then their own.
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A Dainty fine Supper we had,
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and brought up unto us with speed,
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But all the charge lay upon me,
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I paid for it soundly indeed:
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Now when we had sup'd I kist her,
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and she was as willing as I,
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But would to God that I had mist her,
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and her decay'd Gentility:
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Take heed of bad women therefore,
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by women are men overthrown,
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And rich men are often made poor,
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when as they keep more then their own.
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Down stairs then softly she went,
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and call'd for my Cloak-bag with speed,
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This Harlot was surely bent,
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for to undoe me with speed:
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My Night-cloaths are in it, quoth she,
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such mischief in Harlots are rife,
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He gave her my Cloak-bag most free,
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as thinking she had been my wife:
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Take heed, etc.
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She cunningly slunk out of doors,
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when nobody did her mind,
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I may bid a pox of all Whores,
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for leaving her Bastard behind:
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Now farewel my sevenscore pound,
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Lul-a-by must be my Song,
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I'me left like a Horse in the pound,
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I that must suffer the wrong:
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Take heed, etc.
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I call'd her to come unto bed,
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not thinking I had been undone,
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I lookt like a man had been dead,
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when as I perceiv'd she was gone:
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I fretted, I fum'd, I swore,
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the Child had got a new Dad,
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And when I began for to rore,
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the people did think I was mad:
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Take heed etc.
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The Chamberlain run up amain,
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sir, what is the matter (quoth he)
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O call back that woman again,
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for she hath quite ruined me:
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She leaveth her Bastard behind her,
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on purpose to shorten my life,
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O prethee see if thou canst find her,
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for why? she is none of my Wife:
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Take heed, etc.
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But where is my Cloak-bag I pray,
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for therein lies all my gains?
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I gave it your wife by my fay,
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then would you were hang'd for your pains
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You call'd her your wife and your honey,
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why should not your wife then be bold,
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To have the command of your money,
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your Cloak-bag, your Silver and Gold:
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Take heed, etc.
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The Child lay crying apace,
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and I lay swearing as fast,
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To understand rightly my case,
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the Inn-keeper came at the last:
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When he understood the matter,
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he said he was glad 'twas no worse,
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He told me that he would not flatter,
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for I must provide me a Nurse:
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Take heed, etc.
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I'm sorry you met with this Varlet,
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the cause of your sorrow and grief,
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But you would have made her your Harlot,
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if she had not proved a Thief:
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You wanted a bit for your Cat,
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to purge out your mad mellancholly,
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I pray you think wisely of that,
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for you have paid well for your folly:
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Take heed, etc.
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This was all the comfort he gave,
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I was never before so beguil'd,
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The folks in the house did out-brave me,
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and bid me provide for my Child:
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I carried my Child unto Nurse,
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to end all the trouble and strife,
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With never a groat in my Purse,
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I went home unto my Wife:
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Take heed, etc.
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No wonder that Meat is so dear,
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the Grasier so pincheth the poor,
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But now it doth plainly appear,
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the Grasier maintaineth a Whore
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Since Wenches so chargeable are,
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the Grasier had need to be witty,
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If ever it should be his care,
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to fetch his loss out of the City.
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Take heed of bad women therefore, etc.
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