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The Last Observator:
OR, THE
Devil in MOURNING.
A
DIALOGUE
BETWEEN
John Tutchin and his Countryman.
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Obser. COme, honest Country-man, what News dost bring?
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Countr. Faith, Master John, they say you're like to swing.
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Obs. Thou know'st I once for Hanging did Petition.
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Countr. Ay [?]e th' effects of Preaching up Sedition;
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But the most general Report supposes,
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You'll on the Pillory tell Peoples Noses.
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When that day comes, ------
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Your trusty Farmer here most humbly begs
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You'll let him give you a small Treat of Eggs.
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Obs. Jesting apart; Hast with thee brought some Nancy,
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Or Protestant March-Beer to raise my fancy?
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Inspir'd by that, my Thoughts will quicker flow,
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And I'll by far out-hymn the fam'd de F------.
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Coutr. No, not a drop. I'm to be gull'd no more;
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Too much you have trespass'd on the ancient Score.
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I'll be no longer with Whig-Birdlime caught,
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Ne'er stir, I wou'd not save thee for a Groat.
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Misled by thee, I left my Herds and Flocks,
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And must turn Politician with a Pox.
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Obs. And where's the harm to know the Springs of State?
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Countr. It only hasten'd Hone's and Rouses Fate.
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Obs. Happen the worst, I've Friends will pay my Cost.
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Countr. You reckon Nobs, I fear, without your Host.
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Obs. Won't merciful Low-Church espouse my Cause?
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Countr. They'll leave you to the Mercy of the Laws.
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Obs. But then the Whiggs will back me Tooth and Nail.
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Countr. Yes, those are saving Cards that never fail.
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Obs. Old-Nick thus uses Witches, as they tell us,
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And drops the gaping Wretches at the Gallows.
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Will none my Person then from malice skreen?
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Say, Countryman, What think'st thou of my Queen?
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Countr. S'life not a word of Her, thou Scandal-Pedlar,
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Thy Loyalty's as Rotten as a Medlar.
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After such Libelling the Royal-Race,
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How dar'st thou sue to Majesty for Grace?
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Obs. What, am I then by all the World forsaken?
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Countr. E'en get your Friends the Jews to save your Bacon:
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Or should you to the Devil's Church repair,
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None will suspect you'd venture Play-house Air.
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Obs. Howe'er I'm thus abandon'd by the rest,
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Yet while I'm still with thy dear Friendship blest---------
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Countr. Nor Friendship, nor Relief expect from me,
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Through all thy thin pretences now I see:
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No more with sowr Republicans I'll herd,
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But pluck those prating Raskals by the Beard.
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No more with Mercenary Scribes take part,
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But get me home, and mind my Plough and Cart:
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Scow'r o'er my Grounds by break of Day, old Tutchin,
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And freely pay my Taxes without grudging.
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No more Notch'd Levi's holy Buckram hear,
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But with my Betters to the Church I'll steer.
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Dance with our Lads and Lasses on the Green,
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Then steal a harmless Buss------And so God save the QUEEN.
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FINIS.
On Tuesday next will be publish'd a Dialogue by the same Hand with
this, between William Fuller of the Queens-Bench, Gent. and John Tutchin
of Sedition-Hall in Scandalshire, Esq;.
ADVERTISEMENT.
THE Secret History of the Calves-Head Club, or the Republican Unmasq'd; wherein is fully
shewn the Religion of the Calves-Head Heroes, in their Anniversary Thanksgiving Songs on
the Thirtieth of January, by them called Anthems; for five Years last. The Fourth Edition
with Editions, Corrected. Dedicated to the Observator.
The Stage-Beaux toss'd in a Blanket: Or, Hypocrisie Alamode; expos'd in a true Picture of
Jerry------ a pretending Scourge to the English Stage. A Comedy, With a Prologue on Occasional
Conformity, being a full Explanation of the Poussin Doctors Book; and an Epilogue on the Re-
formers, Spoken at the Theatre-Royal in Drury-lane. Certamen Epistolate: Or Eight Letters be-
tween an Attorney and a Dead Parson; Joe Hainess Third Letter, being a Supplement to the
Second Part of Letters from the dead to the Living. Never before Printed. With a Collection
of Letters, By Mr. Thomas Brown.
The Source of our present Pears discover'd; or plain Proof of some late Designs against our
present Constitution and Government: Containing Remarks and Scandalous Libels and Pam-
phlets publish'd of late, and a Justification of some Passages in a late Book, Intituled, The History
of the lost Sessions of Parliament, written by the Author of the History of the last Parliament; Price 1s.
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