THE
Protestant Post-Boy.
Containing all Publick Transactions, Foreign and Domestick.
From Saturday, February the 2d, to Tuesday, February the 5th, 17 11 12.
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LONDON, February the 5th.
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I Have often wonder'd at the Assurance of
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some Men, in aspiring to Places and Honours
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they were no ways equal to. For, certainly,
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as a Low-Station shades a Distinguishing-Merit; so a
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Post of Eminence exposes a Superficial one. But
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then there is an Eclat in Grandeur which dazzles
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the Eyes of the Generality, and an Air of Haugh-
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tiness, which most People borrow from the Rate
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of the Post, or Distinction they are rank'd under,
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which passes with the Injudicious for solid Worth.
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These Opinionative People are not only to be
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found amongst the Great, properly so call'd, but
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there are likewise Tyrants over each other, in sup-
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pos'd Merit, and little Distinctions to be met with
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amongst Mechanicks, on the Plains, and most re-
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tir'd Villages. I am the more fully convinc'd of this,
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since I read the following Tale amongst Ariosto's
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Bucolicks, which I have pretty carefully imitated.
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COLIN, a Raw, but Heady Swain,
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That tended Sheep upon the Plain,
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Scarce knew the Terms of Hoi-Ge-Ho,
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Or when the Team should Stop or Go,
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What Season's proper for to Plough,
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What Ground to Fallow, what to Sow,
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Or how to Cheapen, Sell, or Buy,
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Or any Parts of Husbandry;
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Being once hir'd to Widow Scot,
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Who own'd much Land, and Farm'd to boot,
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Grew vain, and fancy'd he could do
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A Thousand Things he never knew:
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The stupid Louts amaz'd to see
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Colin advanc'd to such Degree,
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Cry'd out, Sure he is something more
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Than Country Volk do take him for.
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The cunning Yeomen smoak'd the Bite,
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And sneer'd the Widow's Want of Wit,
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And o'er a Cup of Nappy Ale
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Would crack a Jest and merry Tale
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Of Colin's Blunders and his Cheats,
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With many other pretty Feats;
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How carelesly he us'd to keep
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His private Stock, and Parish Sheep,
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But rather than his private Stock
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Should want, he'd borrow from the Flock:
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Besides, how Colin once had been
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Thought Tardy, but set right again,
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It being his good Luck to keep
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A Dog that strongly smelt of Sheep,
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And when the Uproar first was heard,
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Poor Mouse was hang'd, and Colin clear'd.
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No sooner Colin settled was,
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But threw th' Old Servants out of Place;
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Old Cid, the Hind, was first discharg'd,
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Who had the Rents and Fines enlarg'd;
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Colin went briskly on below,
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The Widow seldom car'd to know
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Whate'er was done, so Gip and She
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Might have their Syrup and their Tea:
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This Gip, an ugly dowdy Jade,
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Whom Widow Scot familiar made,
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And had preferr'd from Milking-Pail,
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To Dress her Head, and Pin her Tail,
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Had stol'n away the Widow's Heart,
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That they could never be apart:
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This Gip and Colin had combin'd
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To keep the Widow warm, and blind:
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The House thus modell'd, all Things went
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Swimming, and to their Heart's Content,
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And all was Colin's Management.
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Such great Concerns in Colin's Hand,
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Still often put him to the Stand;
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He'd fain have kept some Servants in,
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T' have learn'd by them to Manage fine,
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They swore he trick'd, and would not joyn:
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So he was forc'd to ask Advice
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Of those he thought not very Wise.
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The Fences broke, made but one Field;
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The Cattle dy'd for Want of Care;
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And ev'ry Thing out of Repair:
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The Stock, both Quick and Dead, was sold,
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And Colin still kept all the Gold;
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He took up Sums at Twelve per Cent,
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When all before at Five had lent;
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But yet he, uncontroul'd, went on,
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And, with Success, be'ng harden'd grown,
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At Harvest turns off Carter John,
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And puts in James, a Parish Boy,
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A good Condition'd Youth, but Raw;
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James Driving of an heavy Load,
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Thro' a strait Lane, and miry Road,
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Not knowing when to use his Whip,
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The Horses stand, then frisk and leap,
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And over-set the Load of Wheat,
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That James was bruis'd in his Retreat:
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The Village hooted when they found
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The Wheat so spoil'd, the Carter stunn'd;
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They forthwith to the Widow went
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With, This is Colin's Management:
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The Widow, frighted at the Cry,
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Begg'd they'd some present Help apply,
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And bid them haste for Carter John,
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The Man she must rely upon.
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Colin, with all his Scoundrel Crew,
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The Rabble's Rage and Village flew.
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LONDON, February the 5th.
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Yesterday the Second Troop of Guards was
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Re-view'd in Hide-Park, where the Duke of
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Northumberland was presented to it by the Duke
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of Ormond.
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There is no Opposition made to Mr. Walpool's
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Election for the Borough of Lyn-Regis, so that 'tis
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look'd upon as certain he will be chosen again.
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Last Thursday his Grace the Duke of Marlborough,
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with other Persons of Distinction, paid him a Vi-
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sit in the Tower; and 'tis remarkable, that they
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were permitted to wear their Swords, as are all
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others that come to see him.
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Last Sunday arriv'd an Express from Ireland,
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Giving an Account of the Death of Lieutenant
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General Ingoldsby, who Died at his House in Dub-
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lin on Sunday the 19th of January last.
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We hear, That the Earl of Bridgewater, Son-in-
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law to the Duke of Marlborough, is order'd to re-
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move from his Lodgings at St. Jamess.
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I AM one that constantly Reads your Paper: And I
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cannot but take Notice, That you have quite devi-
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ated from the Entertainment which you promis'd the
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Town: You may remember that you told us, some Time
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since, upon the Resurrection of the Examiner, That you
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wou'd have an Eye to his Paper; whereas, indeed you
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have let him pass, with all the Negligence imaginable,
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in the most absur'd and abominable Assertaions. In par-
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ticular, in one of his late Papers, he maliciously, and as
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foolishly affirms, That our late General frequently led
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the Army into such Dangers, (I shall not stand just to
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repeat the Words) that nothing but their own Courage,
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and Personal Bravery, cou'd have preserv'd them from a
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Defeat. Now, Sir, (if you will take my Thoughts) this is
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so easily answer'd, that, I believe, no one will offer to say,
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but that Caesar, when he pass'd the Rubicon, or Alex-
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ander the Granicus, led their Soldiers into Danger;
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and we have an Old Proverb in England, which says,
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The more Danger the more Honour. But I think this
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malicious Author ought to be told, since he seems to under-
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stand very little of the Matter, That it is the Goodness
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of the General, and the Confidence that the Soldiers (im-
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bib'd by Experience) put in him, which inspires them
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with the Courage and Bravery, which he mentions to have
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brought them off. As an undeniable Instance of this,
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I'll give you the Words of One, whom I am pretty well
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assur'd both the Author of the Examiner, and his
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Friends, put Confidence enough in; and that is their
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Old Friend the King of France, who, in the Year
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1706, after his shameful Defeat at Ramellies, by this
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abandon'd General, found himself necessitated to put the
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Duke de Vendosme at the Head of his Troops in
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Flanders, for the Reasons following, which was the
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Preamble of that General's Commission.
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Louis, etc. 'Notwithstanding the continual Pro-
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'gress of our Armies in Italy have made, under the
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'Conduct of our Right Well-beloved Cousin, the
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'Duke de Vendosme, since the Opening of the Cam-
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'paign in 1702, when we trusted him with the
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'Command of our Troops, seem to invite us to
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'leave him the Care of finishing the War; yet
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'the Necessity of putting at the Head of our Ar-
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'mies in Flanders a General who may gain the Con-
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'fidence of the Officers and Soldiers, and restore to the
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'Troops that Spirit of Fortitude and Boldness so Na-
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'tural to the French Nation, and the Knowledge we
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'have, That no other is Capable to answer our Ex-
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'pectations.
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Now it seems, on the quite contrary, that it is our
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Interest to Remove One in whom the Soldiers had alrea-
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dy plac'd an entire and unalterable Confidence. This
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convinces me, That they must certainly be the Friends
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of the French King, that raise such malicious Ob-
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jections against the Duke of Marlborough. It will be
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an Obligation, Sir, to some of your Admirers if this be
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incerted, submitting it to what Alteration you think fit.
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Yours, etc.
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THE RHAPSODY, which was first Publish'd
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on New-YearsDay, and which has been and will be continu-
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ed every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, having met with En-
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couragement; this is to give Notice, that the Author will go on
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with the most Curious Works of the Ancient Poets and Histori-
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ans, both Greek and Latin; and also the most valuable pieces of
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the Learned Moderns, both Italian, French and English. Sold
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by the Booksellers and News-sellers of London and Westminster,
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and John Morphew, near Stationers Hall. price 1 d.
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