I Father a Child that's none of my own,
BEING
The SEAMANS Complaint,
Who took a Whore instead of a Saint.
Shewing, That whilst he was Trading Seven Years from Port to Port at Sea, and brought
home great Wealth; his Wife in the meantime by Trading in the Low Countries, got a
Mischance, fell down and broke her ------ Elbow: above all praising the Innocence of a Coun-
try Life. To the Tune of, Cook Laurel: Or, Give me the Lass, etc.
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IF every Woman was serv'd in her kind,
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and every Man had his just desert,
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The Rooms in Bridewel would be so well lin'd,
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that a Coach could not pass in the street for a Cart.
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Full seven long years have I cross'd the Seas,
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mean time I've been crost as much on the Land,
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My Wife still at home did live at her ease,
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I'm sure she had all things at her command.
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She needed not her fingers to wet,
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yet she keeps her Gallant, she was so high flown
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But sure I must lose by the Stake or the Bett,
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If I Father a Child that is none of my own.
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I that have scaped the Rocks and the Sand,
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& climed the Billows when storms they have blown
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At last am come to be Ship-wrack'd on Land,
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To Father a Child that is none of my own.
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I Have Traded abroad to bring home same Wealth,
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from Port unto Port in far Countries unknown,
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Meanwhile my Wife has been trading by stealth,
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And got me a Child, though 'tis none of my own
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My Neighbours all they do laugh me to scorn,
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and point their fingers at me and my Joan,
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Saying, that I must drink out of a Horn,
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and Father a Child that is none of my own.
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Though I cannot Pocket my Horns as some can,
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by good Womens Tattles they are so o're-grown;
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Yet 'tis the hard case of many a Man,
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all you that hear me look home to your own.
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For Gallants are dainty and seek in the Throng,
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and love for to pick on another Mans Bone,
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So many an honest good Fellow has wrong,
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to Father a Child that is none of his own.
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In Ciries and Towns of greatest request,
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this slye sort of Pilfering Trade is much known,
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If a man has a beautiful Wife he can't rest,
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for fear to keep Children that's none of his own.
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But well fare the Country, they live at their ease,
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their innocence all their Actions does Crown,
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they may go, they may stay, they may do what they please
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and fear not to keep any more than their own.
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The Plow-man that works far a Field all the day,
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and Shepherd that keepeth his Sheep all alone,
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At night when at home with their wives they may pla[y]
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and fear not to Father what's none of their ow[n.]
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Now I must Rock the Cradle, beside
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dry Clouts on my Horns by the fire at home,
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When I look abroad my Neighbours deride,
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I Father a Child that is none of my own.
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And is not this most damnable strange,
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to be led by every Strumpets moan,
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I may sit and sell Horns at the Royal Exchange,
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when I Father a Child that is none of my own[.]
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A man may be made a Cuckold by chance,
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and put another mans Child to Nurse,
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And Hood-wink his Horns through Ignorance,
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but he that's a Wittal is ten times worse.
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But i'le never grieve, but let it all pass,
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by Woman there's many a Man over-thrown,
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Although I'm an Ox, i'le ne'r be an Ass,
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to Father a Child that is none of my own.
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Neither did I spring out of that Race,
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to call that my Seed which another hath sown,
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Then ne'r let me look King Charles in the face,
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if I Father a Child that is none of my own.
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