A Leicester-shire Frolick; Or, The valiant Cook-Maid.
Being a merry composed Jest of Five Taylors that had been at work till their Wages came to 5
pounds, likewise a merry conceited Cook-maid that lived in the house, went to her Master and
desired him to lend her a horse, and she would venture her skill to take the 5 pound from these
five Taylors, without either Sword or Pistol, in a jesting way, to make her Master some sport
and to show her valour: her Master loving mirth more than sadness, agreed to it: so a Horse
was sadled, and other things to disguise herself, because she might not be known: away she
went (it being in the Evening) and met them before they got home, with nothing in her hand
but a black pudding, the faint-hearted Taylors delivered her their money very quietly, for fear
they should a been shot through with a Black pudding, and what followed after is expressed in
this following Ditty. Tune is, Ragged and torn.
With Allowance.
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I'Le tell you a pretty fine jest;
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if that you do please it to hear,
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For the truth on't I do protest,
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I'm sure that you need not to fear:
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It is of a valiant Cook-maid,
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that lived at a Noblemans place,
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And five Taylors that once was afraid,
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when as they lookt her in the face,
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O this was the valiant cook-maid,
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without either Pistol or Gun,
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But with a Black-pudding did fright,
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five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.
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This Noble-man upon a time,
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had great store of work for to do,
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But to bring everything into rhime,
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study my brains you must know,
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Five Taylors that lived hard by,
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That worked for fourpence a day,
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For Beef and for Pudding at night,
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they'd better do so then to play:
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O this, etc.
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These Taylors a great while did work,
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two Masters, and their three men,
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They laboured as hard as a Turk,
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with Stitching both too and agen,
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And when that their work it was done,
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their money unto them was told,
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Full five good pounds it is known,
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of Silver, but not of red Gold:
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O this, etc.
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And when as their money they'd got,
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then who was so jocond as they
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Each Man of the best drank his pot,
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and homewards they straight took their way
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A Cook-maid there was in the house,
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that us'd full merry to be,
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Who went to her Master in haste,
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and these words unto him did say,
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O thi[s], etc.
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Master if that you please,
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some pastime I for you will make,
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But to lend me a horse then (quoth she)
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and this money I from them will take,
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Her Master then hearing the jest,
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would try what this Cook-maid could do
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Some mirth he did think it the best,
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as Gentlemen will do you know,
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O this, etc.
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A horse then was sadled with speed,
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and boots and Spurs she put on,
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And other materials most fit,
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because that she would not be known,
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A horse-back she straight got astride,
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with a Hogs-Pudding in her hand,
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And meeting these Taylors in haste r
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she presently bid them to stand,
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O this, etc.
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Deliver your Money (quoth she)
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or else your manhoods now try,
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Or by this same thing in my hand,
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every man of you shall dye,
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Then out her Black-pudding she pull'd,
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which sore did the Taylors affright,
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They thought it had been a pistol well charg'd
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because 'twas late in the night,
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O this, etc.
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They beg'd their lives she might save,
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we are but poor taylors (quoth they)
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And truly no money we have,
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for we work but for four-pence a day,
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You lye like all Rogues (quoth she)
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and do not my patience provoke,
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For 5 pounds you have tane for your work.
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so presant that word did them choak,
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O this, etc.
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That money deliver with speed,
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if that you think well on your Lives,
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Or by this same thing you shall bleed,
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the which will go farther then Knives,
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Then out of their pockets their money they took
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with many a sorrowful tear,
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And gave it into her hand,
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here's all on't each Taylor did swear.
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O this, etc.
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And when she their money had got,
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she set Spurs and away she did run,
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The Davil go with you (quoth they)
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for i'me sure that we are undone:
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But when that this Cook-maid came home,
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strait unto her Master she told,
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And show'd him his money again;
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how passages went she did unfold,
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O this, etc.
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But here comes the cream of the jest,
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those Taylors which was such Men,
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After they'd stood pausing a while,
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then back they returned again,
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They came with a pittiful tone,
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their hair stood like men bewitcht
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To 'th Gentleman they made their moan,
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for their mony their fingers it itcht,
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O this, etc.
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The Gentleman laugh'd in conceit,
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how many was there said he,
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Sure you were all men sufficient
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to a beaten above two or three;
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Truly we saw but one man
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the which took our money away,
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But we feared he had partakers in store,
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or else he should never a carried the day,
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O this, etc.
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He was well mounted upon a good steed,
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and a Pistol that put us to studying,
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You lye like all fools (quoth she)
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it was but a black Hogs-Pudding:
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Thus they the poor Taylors did jeer
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and the Cook-maid laugh'd in conceit,
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That with nothing but a black Pudding,
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and that five Taylors should beat,
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O this, etc.
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Then straightway the Gentleman spoke,
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what will you give then (said he)
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To have all your money again,
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and the face on't once more to see:
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Quoth the Taylors we'l give the ton half,
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and that's very fair you do know,
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Altho' that we were such fools,
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to part with our good silver so.
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O this, etc.
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Then straitways he call'd for the Cook,
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then the Taylors did laugh in their sleeve,
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And set her to cunjuring strait,
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which made the poor Taylors believe
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That she by her art had it found,
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and show'd them the place where it lay,
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Which made the poor Taylors to smile,
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so merry and jocand was they.
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O this; etc.
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Here take half the money said they,
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the which we did promise to you,
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And for you we ever will pray
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for such Cook-Maids there is but a few,
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I'le have none of your money she said,
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as sure as i'me hear alive,
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One may know what Cowards you are,
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to let a Hogs-Pudding to fright you all 5
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O this, etc.
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And thus the old Proverb is true,
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nine Taylors do make but one man
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And now it doth plainly appear,
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let them all do what they can,
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For had they been stout hearted Lads,
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they need not callad for aid,
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Nor afraid to tast of a Pudding,
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nor yet be'n out-brav'd by a Maid.
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O this, etc.
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