The UNIVERSITY Ballad,
OR,
The CHURCH'S ADVICE to Her Two DAUGHTERS,
OXFORD and CAMBRIDGE.
First Part.
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1.
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I Have heard my dear Daughters, a Story of late,
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Fa la la, la la la, la la la la;
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Told for Truth to the Commons, by a Minister
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of State, Fa la la, la la la, la la la la;
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Told for, etc.
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That the Scotch Act was Extorted; O England's hard fate!
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Fa la la, la la la, la la la la.
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2.
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If Whiggs at this distance so Terrible are; Fa la, etc.
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Such Men in our Bosom may make us all stare, Fa la
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Such Men, etc.
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And Extort what they please, if we do not take care.
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Fa la, etc.
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3.
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And when we consider what Measures are taken, Fa la,
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And how our best Friend is grosly mistaken, Fa la,
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How all, etc.
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Some things are Extorted, or else we're forsaken. Fa
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4.
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If this be the Case, pray what can you think? Fa la, etc.
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But that Church and State are now at the brink, Fa la,
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But that, etc.
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Of Ruine, Destruction, and ready to sink. Fa la, etc.
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5.
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But we have yet a time to save this poor Nation, Fa la,
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From Fire and Sword, and all Desolation, Fa la, etc.
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From Fire, etc.
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By chusing such Members as hate DECOLLATION. fa
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6.
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And hence I take leave both my Daughters to press, Fa
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To give good Examples, you can do no less, Fa la, etc.
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To give, etc.
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When the Church and the State are in so great distress.
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Fa la, etc.
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7.
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The Eyes of the Nation are fix'd upon you, Fa la la, etc.
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Every City and Borough will observe what you do,
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Fa la, etc.
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Every City, etc.
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And if you'll chuse good Members, the'll do so too.
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Fa la, etc.
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8.
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Each Member that's chose, serves for the whole Na-
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tion, Fa la, etc.
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For that end you're Intrusted to Vote in your Station,
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Fa la, etc.
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For that, etc.
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Without any respect to Friend or Relation. Fa la, etc.
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9.
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The Question before you is both plain and short, fa la
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Who is the best Man, Church and State to support, fa
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Who is, etc.
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From Designs of the Whiggs, and Schemes of the
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C---rt. fa la, etc.
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10.
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And in your next choice lay your hand on your Heart, Fa
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As if upon Oath, for if you do start, Fa la la, etc.
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As if, etc.
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From the Rule above-mention'd, your Conscience will
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smart. Fa la, etc.
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11.
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A good Man is Steady, and with safety may, fa la,
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Be trusted with our Rights; he no Tricks will Play, Fa
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Be trusted, etc.
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He loves the Church and the Queen, and's the same
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every Day. Fa la, etc.
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12.
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But if a Man be bred up a notorious Whigg; Fa, etc.
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Who because he was neglected begins to look big, Fa la,
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Who because, etc.
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And Swears for old Friends he cares not a Fig. Fa la,
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13.
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O trust not to such in time of great Danger; Fa, etc.
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Who to Mother Church is yet but a Stranger, Fa, etc.
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Nor take, etc.
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If Dissenter prevail he may Vote for to change
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her. Fa la, etc.
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14.
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And as to the Tackers that have tack'd the right way,
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Fa la, etc.
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For the Church and the Laws; to such I do say,
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Fa la, etc.
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For the, etc.
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I will give them my Blessing, and for them I'll Pray.
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Fa la, etc.
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15.
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But if for Resentment, and want of a Place, Fa la, etc.
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An old Whi---g Tacks about as it were in a maze, Fa
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An old, etc.
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And talks for the Church like Apothecary Ch----se.
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Fa, la, etc.
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16.
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Let great Marlow take these into Consideration;
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Fa la, etc.
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No Tacker of that kind will save Church or Nation,
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Fa, la, etc.
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No Tacker, etc.
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For in the next Angry mood he'll quit his new Station. Fa
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17.
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And here Daughter Oxf---d, to you I apply, Fa la, etc.
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This Advice from a Mother that can't tell a Lye,
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Fa la, etc.
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This Advice, etc.
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That you chuse not a b--- Son that comes in by the
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by. Fa la, etc.
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18.
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You may once be excus'd that on Deliberation, Fa, etc.
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You took Hobsons choice, or Recommendation, Fa la,
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You took, etc.
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But such a choice at this time will shew to the Nation,
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Fa la, etc.
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19.
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That your Judgment is weak, or you're guided by those,
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Fa la, etc.
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Who have neither Virtue, nor care who is chose, Fa, etc.
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Who have, etc.
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So you Patronize Vice, and yourselves do expose. Fa, etc.
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20.
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We will not inform on Occasional Bill, Fa la, etc.
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Who hung down his Head, sat silent and still, Fa la, etc.
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Who hung, etc.
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Since his silence do's better th[a]n his speaking will:
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Fa la, etc.
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21.
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But when Debate it was Over, and the Bill was brought
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in, Fa la, etc.
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And to say nothing for it was thought a great sin.
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Fa la, etc.
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And to, etc.
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He resolv'd to speak next time, tho' not worth a Pin.
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Fa la, etc.
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22.
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He watch'd my Son Br---y, and from him a
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Notion Fa la, etc.
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He got in his Head, which rais'd a Commotion, Fa, etc.
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He got, etc.
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Then Cry'd out Mr. Sp---r, I second the Motion, Fa, etc.
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23.
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The Wags so Admire him, and love to make Sport
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Fa la, etc.
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With University Member, that they oft make effort
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Fa la, etc.
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With University, etc.
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To call him to Chair; do's this your Honour support?
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Fa la, etc.
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24.
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If Oxf---d Jests be Re-printed, with Additions most
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rare, Fa la, etc.
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Her's a Jest for the House, and a Jest for the Bar,
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Fa la, etc.
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Here's a, etc.
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That you be not a Jest too, is worthy your care. Fa, etc.
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25.
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O give not just Cause to the Scandalous Clubs, Fa, etc.
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To Tutchin, D'Foe, and such yelping Cubs, Fa la, etc.
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To Tutchin, etc.
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To Abuse my Dear Daughter, as they have my Son
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St------bs. Fa la, etc.
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26.
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Will you tell me hereafter you knew not the Man, Fa
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Or knew him no better than the Sp------r Japan, Fa la,
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Or knew, etc.
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There's none will believe, say you what you can. Fa la,
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27.
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Oh! how will our Enemies Triumph and Clap, Fa la,
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If dear Daughter Oxf---d shou'd have this mishap, Fa
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If dear, etc.
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To be caught with her Heads in a Harlican Trap. Fa la
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28.
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Preferments may be kept, fair Promises made, Fa la, etc.
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Till Elections are over, which is the old Trade, Fa
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Till Elections, etc.
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And this is the way Mother Church is Betray'd, Fa la,
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29.
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A Courtier's set up, but if that will not do, Fa la, etc.
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Then a Convert that's useless, or at best so and so, Fa
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Then a, etc.
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And's only fit for a Chamber, to walk to and fro. Fa.
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30.
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Thus the Scheme it is laid, the Plot it is deep, Fa la,
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And all at are work to lull you asleep, Fa la, etc.
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And all, etc.
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That out of the House they Ma------th may keep. Fa,
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31.
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By thy Labours, O Ma------th, advantage we gain, Fa
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Yet with some they raise Envy, with others Disdain, Fa
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Yet with, etc.
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And for thy Success I am in great Pain. Fa la, etc.
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32.
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No doubt my dear Daughter, it is your Intent, Fa la
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To chuse such a person as shall Represent Fa la, etc.
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To chuse, etc.
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Your Learning, your Virtue, and eke your Judgment. Fa
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33.
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But Oh! shou'd you chuse, and a Man to me bring, Fa
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That's entirely depriv'd of any such thing, Fa la, etc.
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That's entirely, etc.
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No Judgment, no Virtue, nor any Learning. Fa la, etc.
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34.
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How can you expect I should ever Consent, Fa la, etc.
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That he my dear Daughter should Misrepresent, Fa la
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That he, etc.
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And on her behalf to Parler---la---ment. Fa la, etc.
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35.
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If yet you will chuse him, pray fix who shall Pay Fa la,
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For the Numerous Oaths he shall Swear every Day, Fa
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For the, etc.
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That the Poor have their Due when he go's away. Fa
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36.
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Or else, O my Daughter, you must see and take care, Fa
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To provide a good Fund, for to tell you I dare, Fa la,
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To provide, etc.
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At last you will Pay for each Oath he shall Swear. Fa la
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37.
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But I trust at this time, Dissenters shall see, Fa la, etc.
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That to my great Comfort you'll Dutiful be, Fa la, etc.
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That to, etc.
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(Notwithstanding Temptations) to keep yourself free. Fa
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38.
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It is Mack------th hath open'd the Eyes of the Nation,
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Fa la, etc.
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And help'd to preserve us from Infatuation,
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Fa la, etc.
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And help'd, etc.
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Whilst in Church and State some would make Altera-
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ration, Fa la, etc.
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39.
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O! how were we blinded with what some do write, Fa
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Concerning the Story of A------by and Wh------te, Fa
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Concerning the, etc.
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Till Sir H. laid before us the Fallacy, in sight. Fa la,
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40.
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And will you disown and disgrace your dear Child, Fa,
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Who is your own Picture, whose Temper's so mild, Fa,
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Who is, etc.
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That for fear you should chuse him Moderation grows
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wild, Fala, etc.
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41.
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If Br------ly and Mack------th together are chose, Fa
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You'l ne'er more be divided by any of those, fa la
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You'l ne'er, etc.
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Who your Peace and your Union do so much Oppose.
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Fa la, etc.
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42.
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And of my dear Daughter there's none shall dare say, fa
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To the Ruine of the Church she ever gave way, fa la,
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To the, etc.
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But Learning and Virtue did always bear sway. fa la,
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43.
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And Now Daughter Ca------dge I hope you do hear Fa la,
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My Advice to your Sister: To both I do bear Fa la,
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My Advice, etc.
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An equal affection; you two are my Care. Fa la, etc.
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44.
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And to you my Request is, that you'l be so kind, fa la
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As for my Son An-----y a second to find, fa la
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As for, etc.
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Who may Match him in Courage and be of his Mind, fa
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45.
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For both, my dear Daughters, must Act in this Station,
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With as much exactness, as an Algebraick Equation, fa
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With as, etc.
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And Vote for such Men as can best serve the Nation.
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46.
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But if one make a good choice, and the other a bad,
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When good Men for both may be easily had, fa la,
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When good, etc.
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How will Whiggs and Dissenters rejoice and be glad. fa
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47.
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You are two great Props of the Church, and the Crown,
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Then be not like Buckets, one up, t'other down, fa
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Then be, etc.
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To expose your dear Mother all over the Town. fa
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48.
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O! no! Pray consider, this is the last Squeak, Fa la,
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Then chuse me such Men, as can both Write and Speak,
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Then chuse, etc.
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Since all that we have, now lies at the Stake. Fa la, etc.
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49.
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And when by my Daughters such Patriots are chose, fa
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I may venture to say, that under the Rose fa la, etc.
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I may, etc.
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You will spoil the new Scheme, and wipe the Whiggs
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Nose. Fa la, etc.
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