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EBBA 32921

National Library of Scotland - Crawford
Ballad XSLT Template
:
An Epistle to Mr. Dryden.

DRYDEN, thy Wit has catterwauld too long,
Now Lero, Lero, is the only Song.
What Singing, Dancing, Interludes of late
Stuff, and set off our goodly Farce of State?
Not Abbevil can turn a deep intrigue,
Till first well warmd with Bishop Talgols Jigg.
Wem cannot sleep, or if a Nap he takes,
His Dream some old Tressilian Ballad breaks.
But was eer seen the like, in Prose or Metre,
To this mad Play, or work of Father P?
At Court no longer Punchionello takes,
Each Scene, Part, Cue, mishapen to the Macs.
Such Plot, and the Catastrophe is such,
We must be either Irish all, or Dutch.
Our very Judges in Westminster-Hall,
Like their old Roof, are Irish Timber all.
And (bless us!) Irish Wolves are brought to keep
The Nation, grown now all such silly Sheep;
Such errant Asses, errant Cattle made,
Or to be yoakd, or saddld, fleecd, or flead.
O Martyrs Son! thy destiny is shown,
Such props are for a Scaffold, not a Throne:
So Juno, in her impotence of rage,
By Heaven denyd, did Hells black Powers engage;
Yet sped the Heroe: Jove and Fate were strong;
Religious care! He took his Gods along:
But heark, O heark, the Belgick Lion roars,
And shakes afar the French and British Shoars:
One Brandy drinks, one mad with Prophecies:
Lord! what they tell us of some Prince from Frize;
Arms, and the Man they sing, no French finess,
But hearty Blows, and Brandenburg Address.
Hence Vigor, and our Figure come agen,
We rise, and walk, all true erected men.
The force of those Circaean Cups subdud,
And the wild Charms our new Armida brewd,
The Witchcraft he (our true Rinaldo) broke,
And grubs the base pretenders to his stock.

But oh, what Spirit of Deceit afar,
Possessd our Pulpits,and bewitchd the Bar?
What Bane, what Mischief on poor Mortals shed
By Vermin, from the Laws corruption bred?
Tho to their Irish Roof no Cobwebs cleave,
Below what strife and endless toyls they weave:
Wanting brave Strength to strangle men to death,
What Frauds they hide! What Venom underneath!
And when some shorter course to Murders shown,
Cry, O that (luscious) Point! they gaind the Crown.

Sons of the Pulpit the same measures keep,
And of that same stummd Cup have drunk as deep.

Agog for some odd transubstantiate thing,
Chimera reign, and Metaphysick King,
Sublimd to School Divinity texreams,
Their Brains would crow with Patriarchal Dreams.
So high from solid honest wisdom blown,
Theyd have some Hippo-Centaur on the Throne.
Not Law-ordaind, but by some God appointed,
Not Lay-elected, but be Priest-anointed.
Away this Goblin Witchcraft, Priestcraft-Prince;
Give us a King, Divine, by Law and Sense.

Now Bar and Pulpit to Dragoons a sport,
Their Cause is carried to the last Resort.
Princes in more compendious method teach,
Force is their way; let old Apostles preach.
Whats stablishd Law, where standing Armies come;
Or wholl talk Gospel to a Kettle Drum?
When God would hear, where Giants did oppress,
The several Nations had their Hercules.
So were the Horns of grizly violence broke,
So People freed from triple Geryons yoke.
The various Snake in Lerna-Lough that bred,
That lolld and hissd to death, at every head,
Nemaean Lion, Erymanthian Boar,
In Bogs that wallow, and on Hills that roar:
All by his Godlike Prowess done away,
Their lawless rule, and that Gigantick sway.

In vain whilst this high Virtue Nations sought,
The Nassau-House were never yet without.
Nor is confind to Provinces their care,
Their generous labour neighboring Kingdoms share.
Here the foul Herd flee from his lifted hand,
That long had made a Stable of the Land.
The Monster of the Lough, new Lerna-Plague
(But scarce in head) the Bog-begotten Teague,
The ravenous kind, the Harpyes sharp for prey,
With Birds obscene, and uncouth to the day.
No Den, no Ditch, no rousting for em more,
Now, now is come our Hercules ashore.
Vile Fraud dispelld, and superstitious Mists:
He from our Temple drives all knavish Priests.
Then warmer Wallop, in due Scarlet shown,
To Coffee-Dick bequeaths his rusty Gown.

Oh Dryden, if this Hercules were thine,
How woud his Club, and Atlas-shoulders shine:
How woudst thou all our Maids of Honor fright,
With naughty Tale, of Fifty in a night?
Howeer, no more let Xavier mar thy Pen,
No Miracle to Forty thousand Men.

When Law, and bald Divinity begins,
Why then, the marvel that a Poet sins?


FINIS.
Exeter, Nov. 5.
1688.

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