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EBBA 32912

National Library of Scotland - Crawford
Ballad XSLT Template
A POEM
AGAINST
MARRIAGE;
Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, calld Husband.

HUsband! thou Dull unpittied Miscreant,
Wedded to Noise, to Misery, and Want;
Sold an Eternal Vassal for thy Life,
Obliegd to Cherish, and to Heat a Wife:
Drudge on till Fifty; at thy Own Expence
Breath out thy Life in one Impertinence;
Repeat thy loathd Embraces every Night,
Prompted to Act, by Duty (not Delight:)
Christen thy froward Bantling every Year,
And carefully thy Spurious Issue Rear:
Go once a Week to see the Brat at Nurse,
And let the Young Imposter drein thy Purse:
Hedge-Sparrow-like, what Cuckoos have begot
Do thou maintain, Incorrigible Sott.
O! I could curse the Pimp that could do less,
Hes beneath Pitty, and beyond Redress:
Pox on him! let him go; what can I say?
Anethemas on him are Thrown away;
The wretch is marryd, & has known the worst,
And now his Blessing is, he cant be Curst.
Marryd! O Hell and Furies! name it not,
Hence, hence you Holy Cheats; a Plot, a Plot.
Marriage is but a Licensd way to Sin,
A Nooze to catch Religious Wood-cocks in:
Or the Nick-name of some Malicious Friend,
Begot in Hell to Prosecute Man-kind.
Tis the Destroyer of our Peace and Health,
Mispender of our precious Time and Wealth;
The Enemy to Wit, Valour, Mirth, all
That we can Vertuous, Good, or Pleasant call.
By Day tis nothing but an endless Noise;
By Night the Eccho of Forgotten Joys:
Abroad the Sport and Wonder of the Crowd,
At Home the hourly breach of what we vowd:
In its Opium to our Lustful Rage,
Which sleeps a while, and wakes again in Age.
It heaps on all Men much (but useless) Care,
Forthwith more Trouble, they less Happy are;
It checks Youth, shortens life, & taints the mind,
Our Sences pales, and strikes our Reason blind.
Ye Gods! that Man by his own Slavish Law,
Should on himself such Inconvenience draw:

If we would Wiser Natures Laws Obey,
Those chalk him out a far more pleasant way,
She bids freely Look, Like, and Enjoy.
Therefore when lusty Youth & Wine conspire
To Flame the Blood unto a Generous Fire;
We must not think the Gallant will Indure
The Durient Raging of his Calenture:
Nor always in his single Pleasures Burn,
Tho Natures Hand-maid some time serves the turn:
No, he must have a sprightly youthful Wench,
In equal floods of Love, his flame to quench;
One that will hold him in her Clasping Arm,
And in that Circle all his Spirits Charm:
That with New Motion, and unpractisd Art,
Can raise his Soul, & then vein-snare his Heart.
Hence springs the Noble, Fortunate, and Great,
Always Begot in Passion, and in Heat:
But the Dull Off-spring of the Marriage-Bed,
What is it? but a Humane shape in Lead:
A Sloathful Lump Ingenderd of all Ills,
Begot like D--- against the Parents Wills.
If it be Cuckoldizd, its Doubly Spoild,
The Mothers Fears Intaild upon the Child.
Thus whether Illegitimate, or Not,
Cowards and Fools in Wedlock are Begot:
Let no Enobled Soul himself Debase,
By Lawful Ways to Dasterdize his Race;
But if he must Pay Natures Debt in Kind,
To check the growing Danger, let him find
Some willing Female out; What tho she be
The very Scum and Dregs of Infamy:
Tho she be Linsey-Woolsey, Baud & Whore,
Close-stool to Venus, Natures Common-shore,
Impudence, Folly, Brandy, and Disease,
The Sundays Crack for Suburb Prentices;
What then? shes better then a Wife by half,
And if thourt still Unmarryd, thou art safe.
with whores thou canst but venture, what is lost
May be Redeemd again with Care and Cost;
But a Damnd Wife, Inevitable Fate,
Destroys, Soul, Body, Credit, and Estate.


FINIS.

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