The West-Country Weaver:
CONTAINING
His Sorrowful Lamentation for the Hardship which he undergoes by a Proud Imperious
WIFE: Together, With his Resolution to reclaim Her by the Well-approved Oil of HOLLY.
To the Tune of If Love's a sweet Passion, etc. Licensed according to Order.
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GOod People I marry'd a turbulent Wife,
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Who with railing has made me quite weary of Life;
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Tho' I do my endeavour to give her content,
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Yet my Labour, alas! to no purpose is spent:
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On her Errands, Peel-garlick her Husband she sends;
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You may see what it is to be marry'd, dear Friends.
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When I was a Batchelor gallant and gay,
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Then at Stool-hall, or Cricket, I freely might play,
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Nay, and sometimes with Margery ride to a Fair;
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But, alas! now my Head is incumbred with Care:
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I must tarry at home for to feed my Wife's Hens;
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You may see what it is to be marry'd, dear Friends.
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If I an Acquaintance do happen to meet
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Any time in the Day, as I pass through the Street,
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And that we for one Flaggon together should go,
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Strait she comes like a loud and invincible shrow;
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At my Noddle the Pipe and the Flaggon she sends:
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You may see what, etc.
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All Winter betimes I am forced to rise
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For to make her a Fire and Caudle likewise,
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Which I bring her each morning with care to her Bed,
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Which perhaps in her Passion she'll fling at my Head:
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This I often have had for to make me amends.
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You may see what, etc.
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She set me one morning to hang on the Pot,
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And I needs must acknowledge I clearly forgot
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For to put in the Water, but saunter'd about
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Till the Porridge-Pot bottom was clearly burnt out:
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At my Noddle the Ladle she presently sends,
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You may see what it is to be marry'd, dear Friends.
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One morning she left me at home to be Nurse,
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While she walk'd with her Gallant, whom often I'd curse:
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Now as I was sate rocking, and winding of Silk,
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Oh the Cat came and eat up the Child's sugar'd Milk:
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But when this sad Disaster was known to my Wife,
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Honest People I thought 'twould have cost me my Life.
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Now when she had thrash'd me, up Stairs she did go
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With her Gallant, and charg'd me to tarry below;
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But I cunningly follow'd, up Stairs I did creep,
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Ay, and thorough the Key-hole in troth I did peep:
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But her Gallant he heard me, and presently swore
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He wou'd kick me down Stairs, if he came to the Door.
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With courage I told him, I fear'd not his Blows,
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I wou'd peep through the Key-hole in spite of his Nose;
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Then the Spark in a Passion his Rapier he drew,
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Straight away from the Door of the Chamber I flew;
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For I knowing young Gallants are desperate Men:
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And thought I, shou'd he kill me, 'faith where am I then.
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I took her to task when the Gallant was gone,
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And I said, Love consider but what you have done:
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It was all that I said, when she slew with disdain,
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Ay, and call'd me poor Wittal, and Cuckold in grain;
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And a three-legged Stool at my Noddle she sends:
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You may see what it is to be marry'd, my Friends.
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Before any longer this Life I will lead,
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I am fully resolv'd to Chastise her with speed,
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With the sweet Oil of Holly I'll chase her proud Hide,
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Which will supple and make her a diligent Bride:
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And when thus she's reclaim'd, to the World I will tell
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How in Love, Peace and Comfort, together we dwell.
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