The Bunter's Wedding.
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GOOD people attend, I'll discover,
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A wedding that happen'd of late,
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I cannot tell why we should smother,
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The weddings of poor more than great;
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'Twixt Ben of the Borough, so pretty,
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Who carries a basket, 'tis said,
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And dainty plump Kent-street fair Kitty,
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A coney wool-cutter by trade.
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The guests were all quickly invited,
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Ben order'd the dinner by noon,
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And Kitty was highly delighted,
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They obey'd the glad summons so soon;
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An ox cheek was order'd for dinner,
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With plenty of porter and gin,
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Ben swore on the oath of a sinner,
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Nothing should be wanting in him.
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Joe the sandman, and Bessy the bunter,
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We hear from St. Giles's did prance,
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Dick the fidler, and Sally the mumper,
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Brought Levi the Jew for to dance.
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Tom the chanter he quickly was present,
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And squinting black Molly likewise,
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With Billy the dustman quite pleasant,
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And Nell with no nose and sore eyes.
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Ned the drover was also invited,
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Unto this gay wedding to come,
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From Smithfield he came quite delighted,
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Before that the market was done;
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And Fanny the pretty matchmaker,
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A sister to young bunting Bess,
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She wished the devil might take her,
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If she was not one of the guests.
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Dolly the rag woman's daughter,
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From Tyburn road she did stride,
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And Jenny the quilter came after,
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Whose nose it stood all of one side;
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There was the Roger the chimney-sweeper,
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No soot he would gather that day,
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But because he would look the compleater,
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His soot bag and brush threw away.
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There was bandy-leg'd sheep's head Susan
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We hear from Field-lane she did hie,
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And draggle-tail'd Pat with no shoes on,
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Who pins and laces doth cry;
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Ralph the grinder he set by his barrow,
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As soon as he heard of the news,
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And swore he would be there to-morrow,
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Altho' he'd no heels to his shoes.
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Sam the grubber he having had warning,
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His wallet and broom down did lay,
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And early attended next morning,
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The bride for to give away;
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And Peggy the mop-yarn spinner,
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Her cards and her wheel set aside,
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And swore as she was a sinner,
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She'd go and attire the bride.
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Nan the tub woman out of Whitechapel,
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Was also invited to go,
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And as she was 'kin to the couple,
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She swore she the stocking would throw;
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So having all gather'd together,
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As they appointed to meet,
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And being all birds of a feather,
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They presently flock'd to the Fleet.
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But when at Fleet-bridge they arrived,
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The bridegroom was handing his bride,
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The sailors they all to them drived,
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Do you want a parson? they cry'd,
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But as they down Fleet-ditch did prance,
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What house shall we go to says Ben,
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Then Kitty in raptures made answer,
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Lets go to the Hand and the Pen.
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Then into the house they did bundle,
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The landlady shew'd them a room,
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The landlord he roar'd out like thunder,
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The parson shall wait on you soon:
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Then so eager he came for to fasten,
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He staid not to fasten his hose,
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A fat-bellied ruddy fac'd parson,
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That brandy had painted his nose.
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But before the couple did fasten,
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He look'd all around on the men,
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My fee's half-a-crown, says the parson, ---
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I freely will give it, says Ben;
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Then Hymen he presently follow'd,
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And the happy knot being ty'd,
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The guests they whooped and hollow'd,
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All joys to the bridegroom and bride,
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Like malt horses home they all pranced,
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The bride she look'd not like the same,
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And thus thro' the city they danced,
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But when to the borough they came;
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The bride to look buxom endeavour'd,
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The bridegroom as brisk as an eel;
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With the marrow-bones and cleavers,
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The butchers they rang them a peal.
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And as they was homewards advancing,
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A dancing and singing of songs,
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The rough music met them all prancing,
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With frying pans, shovels and tongs;
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Tin cannisters, salt boxes plenty,
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With trotter-bones beat by the boys,
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And they being hollow and empty,
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They made a most racketing noise.
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Bowls, gridirons, platters, and ladles,
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And pokers tin kettles did bruise,
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The noise, none to bear it was able,
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The warming pans beat with old shoes;
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Such a rattling racketing uproar,
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Had you but have heard it, no doubt,
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All hell was broke loose you'd have swore,
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And the devils were running about.
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The mob they all hollow'd and shouted,
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In the streets as they passed along,
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The people to see how they scouted,
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Together in clusters did throng;
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They made all the noise they was able,
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And thus they were usher'd in,
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But e'er they all sat down to table,
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They each had a glass of old gin.
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Dinner being decently ended.
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The table was cleared with speed,
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And they to be merry intended,
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So strait did to dancing proceed;
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But Harry the nightman so jolly,
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With madness he almost cry'd,
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And all the night sat melancholy,
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For he had a mind for the bride.
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Bob the bricklayer now being merry,
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Tho to foot it at first he was loath,
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He told them he'd tip them Bob Perry,
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But they swore they'd have Newgate broth.
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Tom the chanter he tipt them a trilly,
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That never before was in print,
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While the dustman they call Sam Smutty,
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Gnaw'd the head of black Moll that did squint.
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Jack the coal-heaver thought himself slighted,
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They carried the rig on so quiet,
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And swore as he was not invited,
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He'd go there and kick up a riot;
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Then hectoring, bouncing, and swearing,
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So boldly he enter'd the house,
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But when he saw Joey the sandman,
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The cull was as still as a mouse.
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Bess the bunter sung Murdoch O'Blaney
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The chorus it made the house ring,
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Nell with no nose cry'd you'll shame me,
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If such bawdy songs you do sing;
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Drunken Levi the Jew was abusive,
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And would have got trim'd as 'tis said,
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Had not his pomatum been useful,
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As Kitty the bride was a maid.
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Joe the sandman he talk'd of the nailor,
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Away the coal-heaver did slink,
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Quite fainted hearted, worse than a tailor,
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Lest Joey should give him a clink;
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But being all got drunk together,
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Ben prayed them all night for to stay,
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So coupl'd them in his long feathers,
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And parted good friends the next day.
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