The Penny worth of WIT.
In Three Parts:
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HEre is a Penny Worth of Wit,
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For those that ever went astray,
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If Warning they will take by it,
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'Twill do them good another Day.
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It is the Touchstone of true Love,
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Betw[i]xt a Harlot and a Wife,
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The former does destructive prove,
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The latter yields the Joy of Life.
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As in this Book you may behold,
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Set forth by Mr. William Lane,
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A wealthy Merchant brave and bold,
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Who did a Harlot long maintain.
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Although a virtuous Wife he had,
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Likewise a youthful Daughter dear.
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Which might made his Heart full glad,
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Yet them he seldom would come near.
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The Treasure which he traded for,
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On the tempestuous Ocean wide,
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His Harlot had, he brought it her
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But nothing to his virtuous Bride.
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The finest Silks that could be bought,
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Nay Jewels, Rubies, Diamonds, Rings,
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He to his wanton Harlot bought,
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With many other costly things.
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She'd still receive him with a Smile,
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When he came from the roaring Seas,
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And said with Words as smooth as Oyl,
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My Dearest come and take thy Ease.
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To my soft Bed and Linnen fine,
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Thou art right welcome Love said she,
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Both I and all that e'er is mine,
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Shall still at thy Devotion be.
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He brought two hundred Pounds in Gold,
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And after that an hundred more,
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With Chains and Jewels manifold,
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And bid her lay them up in Store.
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Ay that I will, thou needst not fear,
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And so embrac'd him with a Kiss,
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Then took the Wealth, and said my Dear,
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I'll have a special care of this.
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Then did they banquet many a Day,
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Feasting on rich delicious Fare,
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Thus by her false deluding Ways,
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She drew him to a fatal Snare.
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When he had liv'd sometime on Shore,
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He must to the Seas again,
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With Traffick to encrease his Store,
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The wanton Harlot to maintain:
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To whom he said, My Joy, my Dear,
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With me what Venture wilt thou send,
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A good Return thou needst nor fear,
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I'll be thy Factor and thy Friend.
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In Goods my dear Jewel I'll send above
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Ten Pounds which thou shalt take on Board,
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I know that unto me my Love,
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A treble Gain thou wilt afford.
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This said, next to his Wife he goes,
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And asked her in scornful wise,
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What Venture she would now propose
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To send by him for Merchandize.
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I'll send a Penny Love by thee;
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Be sure you take great care of it:
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When you're in foreign Parts, said she,
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Pray buy a Penny worth of Wit.
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She laid the Penny in his Hand,
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And said, I pray now don't forget,
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When you are in another Land,
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To buy a Penny Worth of Wit.
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He put the Penny up secure,
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And said I'll take a special Care,
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To lay it out you may be sure,
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So to his Miss he did repair,
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And told her what he was to buy,
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At which she laugh'd his Wife to scorn,
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On Board he went immediately,
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And set to Sea the very Morn.
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PART II.
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NOw were they gone with merry Hearts,
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The Merchant and his Jovial Crew,
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From Port to Port in foreign Parts,
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To trade as they were wont to do.
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At length when he had well bestow'd
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The Cargo which was outward bound,
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He did his treading Vessel load
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With richer Treasure which he found.
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As he his Merchandize did vent,
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They turn'd to Gems and golden Oar,
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Which crown'd his Labours with Content,
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He never was so rich before.
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The wanton Harlot's Venture then
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Did run to great account likewise.
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For every Pound she would have Ten
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Such was their lucky Merchandize.
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For Joy of which the Merchant cry'd,
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One merry Bout my Lads shall have,
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A splendid Supper I'll provide,
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Of all the Dainties you can crave,
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Before we set to Sea again.
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This said, they to a Tavern went,
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Where they did feast and drank amain,
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Till mony Caowns and Pounds were spent.
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The Merchant then with Laughter mov'd,
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Said he for Wit had never sought.
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My Harlot's Venture is improv'd,
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But of my Wife's I never thought.
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One single Penny and no more,
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She as a Venture sent with me;
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I was to lay it out therefore,
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In what you'll think a Rarity.
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She bid me use my utmost Skill,
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To buy a Penny Worth of Wit;
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But I have keept the Penny still,
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And ne'er so much as thought of it;
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Where shall I go and lay it out,
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True Wit is scarce and hard to find,
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But come my Lads let's drink about.
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My Wife's small Venture we'll not mind.
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There is a Proverb often us'd,
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Wit's never good till bought too dear;
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Wherefore I may well be excus'd,
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There's little for a Penny here.
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An age'd Father sitting by,
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Whose venerable Looks was gray,
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Straight made the Merchant this Reply,
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Hear me a word or two I pray.
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Thy Harlot in Prosperity,
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She will embrace thee for thy Gold,
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But if in Want and Misery,
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You'll nought but Frowns from her behold,
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And ready to betray thy Life,
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When wretched, naked, poor and low,
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But thy true hearted faithful Wife,
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Will stand by thee in Well or Woe,
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If thou wilt prove the Truth of this,
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Strip off thy gaudy rich Array,
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And so return to thy loud Miss,
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Declare that thou was cast away,
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Thy Riches buried in the Main,
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Besides as you pass'd thro' a Wood,
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One of your Servants you had slain,
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For which your Life in Danger stood,
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Beseech her for to shelter thee,
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Declare on her you do depend,
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And then alas! full soon you'll see,
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How far she'll prove a faithful Friend.
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Then if she frowns, go to thy Wife,
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Tell her this melancholy Theme:
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Who labours most to save thy Life,
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Let her be most in thy Esteem.
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Father, the Merchant then reply'd,
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You must this single Penny take,
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And when I've past the Ocean wide,
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A Proof of this I mean to take.
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And loving Friends for ought I know,
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I may this single Penny prize,
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It may be the best I did bestow,
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In all my wealthy Merchandize.
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Taking his Leave away he came,
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Both he and his brave Hearts of Gold,
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To whom he said, I'll prove the same,
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When I my native Land behold.
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PART III.
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WITH full spread Sails to Sea he went,
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Neptune the golden Cargo bore,
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Thro' roaring Waves to their Content,
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At length they reacht the British Shore.
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The Merchant put on poor Array,
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The very worst of ragged Cloaths,
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And then without the least Delay,
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He to his wanton Harlot goes.
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When she beheld him in Distress,
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She cry'd, What is the Matter now?
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Said he, I'm poor and pennyless;
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With that he made a courteous Bow.
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Crying No Man was e're so crost,
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As I have been sweet Heart's Delight,
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My Ship and all I have is lost,
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Without thy Help I'm ruin'd quite.
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My Loss is great, yet that's not all,
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One of my Servants I have slain;
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As we did both at Variance fall.
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Some Shelter let me here obtain.
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I dare not now go near my Wife,
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Whom I have wronged for many Years,
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Into thy Hands I'll put my Life,
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Take Pity on my melting Tears.
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Ye bloody Villain, she reply'd,
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Don't in the least on me depend,
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Be gone, or as I live, she cry'd,
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I for an Officer will send.
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I'll give you neither Bread nor Drink,
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Nor any Shelter shall you have,
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Of nesty lousie Raggs you stink,
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Begone you base perfidious Slave.
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Don't think that I'll your Counsel keep,
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Or harbour any such as you,
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He turn'd away and seem'd to weep,
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And bid the wanton jilt Adieu.
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Then to his loving Wife he came,
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Both poor and naked in Distress,
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He told her all the very same,
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Yet she receiv'd him ne'ertheless.
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My Dear, she cry'd, since it is so,
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Take Comfort in thy loving Wife,
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All that I have shall freely go,
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To gain a Pardon for thy Life.
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I'll lodge thee in a Place secure,
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Where I will daily nourish thee:
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Believe me Love thou may be sure,
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To find a faithful Friend in me.
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When he this perfect Proof had made,
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Which of them two did love him best,
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Unto his virtuous Wife he said,
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My Jewel set thy Heart at Rest,
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Behold I have no Servant slain,
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Nor have I suffered any Loss,
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Enough I have for to maintain,
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The Ocean Seas no more I'll cross.
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My loaded Ship lies near the Shore,
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With Gold and Jewels richly fraught,
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So much I never had before,
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Thy Penny worth of Wit I've bought.
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Once more he to his Harlot goes,
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With Fourteen Sailers brave and bold,
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All cloath'd in new and costly Clothes,
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Of Silk and rich embroider'd Gold.
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The Miss when she his Pomp beheld,
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Did offer him a kind Embrace,
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But he with Wrath and Anger fill'd,
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Did streight upbraid her to her Face.
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But she with Smiles these Words exprest,
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I have a faithful Love for thee,
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What e'er I said was but a jest,
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Why didst thou go so soon from me.
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Twas Time to go, for as I'm told,
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You have another Love in Store,
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Whom you have furnisht with my Gold,
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And Jewels which I brought on Shore.
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Tis false, she cry'd, I have them all:
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With that the Merchant straight reply'd,
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Lay them before me, then I shall
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Be soon convinc'd and satisfy'd.
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Then up she ran and fetch'd them down,
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His Jewels, Gold and Rubies bright,
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He seiz'd them all, then with a Frown
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He bid the wanton Jilt good Night.
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When he had took the golden Purse,
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And sweept up every precious Stone,
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She cry'd, what will ye rob me thus,
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Yes that I will of what's my own.
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You wanted to betray my Life:
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But Thanks to GOD there's no such Fear,
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These Jewels shall adorn my Wife,
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Henceforth your House I'll ne'er come near.
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Home he return'd to his sweet Wife,
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And told her all that he had done,
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E'er since they lead a happy Life,
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And he'll no more to Harlots run:
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Thus he the wanton Harlot bit,
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Who long had his Destruction sought.
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This was a Penny worth of Wit,
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The best that ever Merchant bought.
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