ADVICE
To Young Gentlemen;
OR, An Answer to the LADIES of LONDON.
To the Tune of, The Ladies of London.
This may be Printed, R.P.
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ALl Jolly Blades that Inhabit the Town,
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And with the fair Sex are contriving,
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From the Gay Fop, to the honest bred Clown,
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be advis'd to resolve against Wiving;
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Let not a prospect of Pleasure delude,
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where so many Plagues are attending,
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For 'tis the Nature of Wives to Obtrude,
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and Miseries heap without ending
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First, have a care of the Lady precise,
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who exclaims against Drinking and Roaring,
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That privately turns up the Whites of her Eyes
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and in publick abominates Whoring
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But if you Coach her a mile out of Town
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and quote her but Solomons Vices;
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With a slight trip you may tumble her down,
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though seeming she modestly nice is.
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Let no City-Girl your Freedom beguile,
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shee'l cheat you with modest behaviour,
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Who sits like a Rabbit trust up for to boil,
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and swears she's a Maid by her Saviour:
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But if you cunningly manage your Plot,
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you'l quickly be admitted under;
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Her coy behaviour will soon be forgot,
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shee'l breath out her Soul in a slumber.
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The Widdow avoid where Pollicy lurks
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pretending to act by her Conscience
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That's black as the Devil and large as a Turk's
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shee'l tease you to Death with her Nonsense:
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But if you love her and long for a Bout,
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you ne'r must stand mincing the matter,
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Brush her with Jollitry briskly about,
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and down with your Britches and at her.
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Let not the Country wench that is coy,
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insinuate into your favour
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For when she knows what it is to enjoy
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she quickly will change her behaviour:
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Turn an insatiate Miss of the Town,
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to purchase Gallants shee'l endeavour;
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Pawn from her Carcase her Paragon Gown
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to maintain the curteous Pleasure.
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But if your Vigor a Wife doth require
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and will not admit of forbearing;
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And may serve for to quench your desire,
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ther's no Barrel the better Herring.
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When you have ty'd the true Lovers Knot
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one of the Curses depending
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To Father a brood you never half got,
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without any further contending.
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When the Wifes brought a Bed, least the Cuckold grow mad
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the Midwife she makes an Oration
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And cryes the poor Infant is so like the Dad
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worthy of your Observation;
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Whilst the good Woman is pleased in her heart
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to hear them so Err in their chatting,
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Knowing her Husband and she was a-part
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when Bully, the Boy was a getting.
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Now how to avoid so heavy a Curse,
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I do like a Brother advise ye,
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Never to take her for better for worse,
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if you do, by my troth you'r a Nisey,
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For you without may get her consent
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and ne'r make half that Puther
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Then when she's false, or her Portion is spent
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you may change and make choice of another.
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