Two-penny-worth of Wit
For a PENNY.
OR, The bad Husband turn'd Thrifty
This Man that wrought his own decay,
And spent his Money night and day;
Is turn'd so saving I do swear,
There's few that with him can compare:
And lives so civil in his ways,
That all his neighbours give him Praise,
And does repent his wicked Crime,
And desires good Fellows to turn in time;
There's many a Man Runs himself clear out,
When Ale's in his Head, then Wit is out.
To the Tune of, Packingtons Pound.
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ALL Company-Keepers come hear what I say
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Here's a Notable Song if you please for to stay,
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It will Learn you good councel, be ru'ld by a friend,
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If you go to an alehouse your money to spend:
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For four-pence or Sixpence, you may spend I do say,
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If you call any higher it's all thrown away;
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Then Barnaby will begin to work in your head,
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There's many does forget that their Children want Bread
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Observe a good hour and loose not your time,
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If you meet with a friend that you needs must go drink
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I desire you to take this councel of mine,
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Keep wit in your Noddle, and your Pockets some Chink:
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Then your wife will pleased, your Children glad,
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And a great deal of comfort there will to be had:
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But if you spend all your money and make yourself poor,
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Then your rent will be wanting you'l be turn'd out of door.
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To see some men when they are full of drink,
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What a Beastly condition it is we may think,
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That they hardly can know one man from another,
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They abuse their best friend if it be their own Brother.
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They'l tumble i'th dirt, and they'l stagger i'th street,
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And affront e'ry man and woman they meet,
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That when they are sober will Scorn to do so,
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For they hardly can know their friend from their foe.
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For I my own self have been in the same way,
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And wasted my money by night and by day,
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And never did think how my Children was serv'd,
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Till Neighbours did say that they almost were starv'd
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If my wife chance to say that anything she did lack,
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I would call her base whore and be sure pay her back:
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That was the best comfort I could her afford,
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Then I out to the Ale-house, and spent like a Lord.
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I sold all my goods, and I wasted my store,
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And at the Long run I was grown very poor,
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A hundred and fifty good pounds I have spent,
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As long as any was left I could not be content:
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My hostess she would be so merry with me,
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When I call'd for Liquor and paid for't too free;
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And with slabering and kissing she pleasd me to th' life
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Thus I like a villian did wrong my poor wife.
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At last I consider'd and did think in my mind,
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How to my own family I had been too unkind;
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Which troubles my conscience to think on the same,
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That with drinking and swilling I was much to blame,
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My Children was bare, and hard they did fare,
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And I of their misery never took care,
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But now i'le begin for to live a new life,
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And take pains to maintain both my Children and wife.
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For I to the Ale-house have been too kind,
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Which to my undoing I plainly do find,
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My poor little Children are fallen into want,
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Which grieves me to see them full sore I repent,
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That I had such fortune for to be so led,
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With Drunken companions which caus'd me be bad,
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But he runs a long Race, that ne'r has an end,
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I, make much of my money that God does me send.
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I'le be carefull of my Children and make much of my wife
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And provide meat and drink for to preserve their life,
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That little that's left I hope to make it more,
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With takeing of pains, and with working full sore:
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And ale-wifes go hang themselves with what they have got,
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No more of my money shall fall to their lot;
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I have sow'd my wild Oats and I will have a care,
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Of drunken companions that made me so bare.
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It is a brave thing when a Winter comes cold,
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To have something in store, with that a man may be bold,
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Either Land men or Sea-men what ever they be,
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All Young-men consider be ruled by me,
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For Hostesses and tap houses will fill you no beer,
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No longer then your money holds out you may swear,
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For I my own self now do find it too true,
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Which makes me to speak, for what I spent I do rue.
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Since I took a good course and forsaken the bad,
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With my wife and my Children there is enough to be had,
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But while I kept drinking and loosing my time,
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All my whole houshould was ready to pine:
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But it is a long day that ne'r has an end,
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Therefore all good-fellows be rul'd by a Friend,
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Keep mony in your pockets and good Cloaths to your back.
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Drink to do yourselves good, but take heed of a Crack,
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Now in the conclusion that man is well blest,
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That lives sober, and quietly, and forgoes Drunkenness,
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He never will be out of reason with his wife,
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If God give him a blessing he's free from all strife,
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It is a brave thing if a man do take pains,
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If he work ne'r so hard if he bring home the gains;
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Therefore take this councel I pray you of mine,
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It's a penny well bestow'd, he that takes up in time.
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