FOUR-LEGG'D ELDER,
OR,
A true RELATION
OF A
DOG and an ELDER'S Maid.
To the Tune of The Lady's Fall, or Gather your Rose-buds; and Fourty other Tunes.
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1.
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ALl Christians and Lay-Elders too,
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For shame amend your Lives;
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I'll tell you of a Dog-trick now,
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Which much concerns your Wives.
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An Elders Maid neer Temple-bar,
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(O what a Quean was she!)
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Did take an ugly Mastive Cur
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Where Christians use to be.
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Help House of Commons, House of Peers!
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O now or never help!
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Th Assembly having sate four years
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Has now brought forth a Whelp.
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2.
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One evening late she stepp'd aside,
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Pretending to fetch Eggs;
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And there she made herself a Bride
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To one that had four leggs.
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Her Master heard a Rumblement,
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And wondred she did tarry,
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Not dreaming, without his consent,
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His Dog would ever marry.
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3.
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Her Master peep'd, but was afraid,
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And hastily did run
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To fetch a staff, to help his Maid,
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Not knowing what was done.
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He took his Ruling-Elders Cane,
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And cri'd out, Help, help here!
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For Swash our Mastiff and poor Jane
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Are now Fight Dog fight Bear.
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4.
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But when he came, he was full sorry,
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For he perceiv'd their strife,
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That, according to the Directory,
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They two were Dog and Wife.
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Ah then, said he, thou cruel Quean,
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Why hast thou me beguil'd?
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I wonder'd Swash was grown so lean;
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Poor Dog! he's almost spoil'd.
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5.
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I thought thou hadst no carnal sence
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But what's in other Lasses,
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And couldst have quench'd thy 'cupiscence
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According to the Classes.
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But all the Parish sees it plain
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Since thou art in this pickle,
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Thou art an Independent Quean,
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And lov'st a Conventicle.
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6.
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Alas! now each Malignant Rogue
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Will all the world perswade
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That she that's Spouse unto a Dog
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May be an Elders Maid:
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They'll jeer us if abroad we stir,
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Good Master Elder, stay,
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Sir, of what Classis is your Cur?
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And then what can we say?
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7.
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They'll many graceless Ballads sing
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Of a Presbyterian,
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That a Lay-Elder is a thing
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Made up half-Dog, half-Man.
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Out, out, said he, and smote her down;
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Was Mankind grown so scant?
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There's scarce another Dog i'th' Town
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Had took the Covenant.
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8.
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Then Swash began to look full grim,
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And Jane did thus reply,
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Sir, you thought nought too good for him,
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You fed your Dog too high:
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'Tis true, he took me in the lurch
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And leap'd into mine Arm,
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But as I hope to go to Church,
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I did your Dog no harm.
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9.
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Then she was led to Newgate Jail,
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Where she was naked stript;
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They whipt her 'till the Cord did fail,
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As Doggs us'd to be whipt.
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Poor City-Maids shed many a tear
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When she was lash'd and bang'd;
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But had she been a Cavalier
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Surely she had been hang'd.
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10.
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Her's was but Fornication found,
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For which she felt the lash;
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But his was Buggery presum'd,
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Therefore they hanged Swash.
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What will become of Bishops then
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Or Independency?
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For now we find both Doggs and Men
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Stand for Presbytery.
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11.
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She might have took a Sow-gelder,
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With Synod-men good store;
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But she would have a Lay-Elder
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With two leggs and two more.
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Go tell th' Assembly of Divines,
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Tell Adoniram blue,
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Tell Burgess, Marshal, Case, and Vines,
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Tell Now-and-anon-too.
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12.
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Some say she was a Scottish Girl,
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Or else, at least a Witch;
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But she was born in Colchester:
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Was ever such a Bitch!
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Take heed, all Christian Virgins now,
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The Dog-star now prevails;
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Ladies, beware your Monkies too,
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For Monkies have long tails.
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13.
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Bless King and Queen, and send us Peace
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As we had seven years since:
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For we remember no Dog-days
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While we enjoy'd our Prince.
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Bless sweet Prince Charles, two Dukes, three Girls;
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Lord save his Majesty!
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Grant that his Commons, Bishops, Earls,
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May lead such lives as He.
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Help House of Commons, House of Peers!
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O now or never help!
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Th Assembly having sate four years
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Has now brought forth a whelp.
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