The Ladys Policy; or, The
Baffled KNIGHT.
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THere was a Knight got drunk with Wine,
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a riding along the way sir
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And there he met with a Lady fine,
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amongst the Cocks of hay sir.
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One Question he did crave of her,
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and askd her to lay her down sir,
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But he had neither Cloth nor sheet,
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to keep her from the Ground sir.
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There is a great dew upon the Grass,
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and if you should lay me down sir,
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You wound spoil my gay Cloathing
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that cost me many a pound sir.
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I have a Cloak of scarlet Red,
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Ill lay it under thee Love,
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And if youll go to my Fathers Hall,
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That is moated all round about sir
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There you shall have your will of me,
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within sir, and without sir.
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O yonder stands my milk-white steed,
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and among fhe Cocks of Hay sir,
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If the Kings Pinder should chance to come
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hell take my steed away,
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I have a Ring upon my Finger,
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its made of the finest Gold Love
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And it shall serve to fetch your steed,
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out of the Pinders fold Love.
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And if youll go to my Fathers House
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that is moated all round about sir,
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There you shall have your Chamber free,
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and your Chamberlain Ill be sir.
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He set her on a milk white stead,
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himself upon another,
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And so they rid along the Way,
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Like Sister and like Brother.
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But when he came to her Fathers House,
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which was moated all round about sir,
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She slipt herself within the Gate;
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and Lockd the Knight without sir.
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I thank you kind Knight, for seeing me here
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and bringing my maiden head home sir,
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But you shall have two of my Fathers Men
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to set you as far back again sir.
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He drew his sword out of his scabbard,
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and wet it upon his sleeve sir,
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Saying a Curse be to every Man
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that will a maid believe sir.
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We have a tree in our Garden
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some call it a Rosemary, sir,
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Theres crowing Cocks in our Town,
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Well make a Capon of you, sir:
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We have a Flower in our Garden,
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some call it a Marygold, sir,
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And he that would not when he might,
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he shall not when he would, sir.
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But if you chance to meet a Maid,
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a little below the town, sir,
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You must not mind her gay Cloathing,
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nor the rinkling of her gown, sir.
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And if you chance to meet a Maid,
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a little below the Hill, sir,
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You need not fear her squeaking out,
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For she quickly will lye still sir.
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Part II
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THE baffled Knight was by the Lass,
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ingeniously outwitted,
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And since that time it came to pass,
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he was again well fitted.
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As he was riding across the Plain,
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in Boots, Spurs, Hat and Feather,
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He met with that Lady fair again
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they talkd awhile together.
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He said, tho you did serve me so.
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and cunningly did decoy me,
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Yet now before you further go,
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I must and will enjoy you.
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Twas near a spacious Rivers side,
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where Rushes Green were growing,
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And Neptunes silver streams did glide,
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four Fathom water flowing.
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The Lady blushed like scarlet red,
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and trembling at this stranger,
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How shall I guide my maidenhead,
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from this approaching danger.
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With a lamenting sigh, said she,
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to die I vow I am ready:
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Must this dishonour fall on me,
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a most unhappy Lady.
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He from his saddle did, alight
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In gaudy rich attire,
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And cried, I am a Noble Knight,
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who does your Charms admire.
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Hu took the Lady by the hand,
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who seemingly Consented,
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And would no more disputing stand,
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While she a Plot invented.
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How she might baffle him again,
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with much delight and pleasure,
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And eke unspotted still remain,
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with her pure Virgin Treasure.
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Look yonder, Sir, good Knight I pray,
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methinks I dow discover,
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Well mounted on a dapple Grey:
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my true entire Lover.
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The Knight than standing on the brink,
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of a deep flowing River
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Thought she thou now shall swim, or sink,
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chuse which thou fancest rather.
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Against his back the Lady run,
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the Waters straight he sounded.
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He cryd Love, what have you done,
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help, help, or I am drowned.
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Said she, farewel, sir Knight adieu,
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you see what comes of fooling
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That is the fittest Place for you,
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whose Courage wanted cooling.
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Love help me out, and Ill forgive
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the fault that youve committed,
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No, no, said she, sir, as I live,
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I think you are well fitted.
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She rid home to her Fathers house,
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for speedy Expedition,
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Whilst the Knight was soakd like souse,
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in a sad wet Condition.
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When he came mounted to the Plain,
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he was in rich attire,
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Yet when he back returned again,
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he was all muck and mire.
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A solemn Vow he there did make,
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Just as he came from swimming,
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Hed love no Lady for her sake
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nor any other Woman.
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PART III.
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THE knight was fooled once more,
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youll find by this pleasant ditty,
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For she whose Charms he did adore,
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was wonderful sharp and witty.
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Returning from her Fathers Park,
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just by a Summer Bower,
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She chanced to meet her angry spark,
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who gave her a frowning lour.
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The thoughts of what she twice had done,
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did cause him to draw his Rapier
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And at the Lady than be run,
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and thus he began to Vapour.
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You chousd me at your Fathers Gate,
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then tumbled me into the River
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I seek for Satisfaction straight,
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or Ill be a fool forever.
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He came with Resolution bent,
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that Evening to enjoy her
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And if she did not give Consent,
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that minute hed destroy her.
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I pray sir knight, and why so hot,
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against a Young silly Woman,
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Such Crimes as these must be forgot,
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for merry Intreagues are common.
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What do you count it mirth he cried,
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to tumble me in and Leave me,
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What if I drowned there had died,
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a dangerous Jest believe me.
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Well if I pardon you this day,
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these injuries out of measure,
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It is because without delay,
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I mean to enjoy the pleasure.
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Your suit she said is not denied,
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but think on your boots of Leather,
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And let me pull them off she cried,
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before we lye together.
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He sat him down upon the Grass,
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and Violets sweet and tender
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Now by this means it came to pass,
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she did his Purpose hinder.
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For having pulld his boots halfway,
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she cried I am now your betters,
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You shall not make of me your Prey
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sit there like a thief in fetters.
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Now finding that she had served him so,
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he rose and began to grumble
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For he could neither stand nor go,
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but did like a Cripple tumble.
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The boots stuck fast and would not stir,
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his folly she soon did mention
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And laughing said, I pray, kind sir,
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how like you my new invention
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My Laughing, sir, you must excuse
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you are but a stingless Nettle
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Youd never have stood for boots nor shoes,
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had you been a Man of mettle.
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Farewel sir knight, its almost dark,
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I fear neither Wind nor Weather
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Ill send my Fathers Servant Man,
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to pull off your boots of Leather.
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She Laughed outright, as well she might
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with merry conceits of scorning,
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And left him there to sit all Night
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until the approaching Morning.
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PART iv.
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THE Fourth Part of the baffled knight
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the Lady has fairly acted,
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She did his Love and service slight
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which made him quite distracted.
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She left him in her Fathers Park,
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where nothing but deer could hear him
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While he lay rowling in the dark,
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theres never a soul came near him.
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Until the Morning break of day,
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and being warm summers Weather
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A Shepherd chanced to come that Way,
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who pulled on his boots of Leather.
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Then mounting on his milk white stead,
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he shaking his ears was ready
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And whip and spur he rid with speed,
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to find out this crafty Lady.
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If once this Lady I come night,
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she shall be releasd by no Man,
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Why should so brave a knight as I,
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be fooled by a silly Woman
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Three times she has affronted me,
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in crimes which I cannot pardon,
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But if I ant revenged said he,
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Let me not be worth one Farthing.
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I value not her beauty fair,
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Tho once I did dote upon her
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This trusty sword shall now repair
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my baffled blasted honour.
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Unto her Fathers house he went,
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which on every side was moated
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The fair, sweet youthful charming dame,
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his angry brows she noted.
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Thought she, Ill have the other bout,
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and tumble him into the River,
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And let the devil help him out
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or he shall lye for ever.
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He will not leave me at rest,
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altho I have often foild him.
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Therefore once more I do protest
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With flattery Ill begile him.
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The bridge was drawn, the gates lockd fast,
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so that he could no way enter
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She smiled on him, and said at last,
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sir knight, if you please to venter.
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A Plank lies over the moat hard by,
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full seventeen foot in measure
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Theres no body now at home but I,
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so that you may use your Pleasure.
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This Word she had no sooner spoke,
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but straight he was tripping over
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The Plank was sawn, and snapping broke,
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he proved an unhappy Lover.
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