The Country Girls Policy; Or, the
Cockney Outwitted.
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ALL you that are to Mirth inclind
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come tarry here a little while:
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Pray read it once and I do not fear,
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but soon it will make you to smile.
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The Londoners call us Country Fools,
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and laugh at us every day.
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But Ill let them see before I have done,
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we know as good things as they,
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A jolly young Girl in Herefordshire,
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who lately had learnd to Dance:
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In less than the Space of one whole Year,
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she light of a Child by chance.
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Being very poor this cunning Whore,
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upon a Certain Day,
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Resolved was she the City to see,
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so to London she took her way.
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With an old straw Hat, and her tail pinnd up,
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and with Dirt instead of Fringe,
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Not long ago this cunning Slut
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did come to the Royal Exchange.
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With the Child in a Basket under her Arm
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close covered, as it is said,
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With a clean white Cloth, and at each end
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Hung out a Gooses Head.
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She saw two Stock Jobbers standing by,
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She then unto one did say,
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Gaffer what stately Church is this;
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come tell me now I pray;
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The other to her Smiling said,
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how like a Fool you talk!
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This is no Church, it is the Change.
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where all the Merchants walk.
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Is this the Change, good Sir? she said,
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a glorious Place it be,
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A finer Place in all my Life,
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I never before did see.
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Ill warrant you theres fine Chambers int
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as you and I do live,
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Now if you[]ll let me go and see,
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a Penny to you I will give.
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The one said, your Basket I will hold
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and tarry here below,
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Whilst my Consort goes up with you,
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the Chambers for to shew:
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She answered I am afraid,
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that when I do come down,
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You will be gone, and I would not lose,
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my Basket for a Crown.
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I am not such a Man he cryd,
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and that Id have you know;
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She gave it him, and with her guide
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she up the Stairs did go;
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She viewd the Pictures very fine,
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and did them much admire.
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He soon droppd her, she down Stairs run
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and after him did enquire.
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She Straight runs up to a Merchant,
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good honest Man said she,
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Did not you see a thick tall Man
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that had two Geese of me?
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Alas! said he, poor country Girl
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our Cocknies are too quick;
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Go home and tell your Country Girls,
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of this fine London trick.
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She stampd and cryd thus to be bit,
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would make a Body swear
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Ill never come to the Royal Exchange,
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any more to sell my Ware:
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For by a couple of cheating Knaves,
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alas! am undone:
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She gave a Stamp, and laughd aloud,
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and then away she run
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But now we will to the Jobbers turn,
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who thought they had got a Prize,
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They stept into an Ale-house,
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and sent for both their Wives.
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They told them the Story,
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with Hearts both merry and light,
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Said they well have a Frolick ont,
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and roast them both at Night.
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The Women cryd, no, one at a Time,
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the further they will go
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The other well have at another house,
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and order the Matter so;
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Thus they began to jangle,
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and got on either Side,
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But all the while this Basker stood,
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without ever a Knot untyd.
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Then opening of the Basket,
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as I the truth unfold;
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There did they find a curious Boy,
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just about five Weeks old
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The Women flew into a Damnable Rage,
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O how they did scold and curse,
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Instead of a Cook, ye Rogues said they
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you must run and call a Nurse
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The one said, this is your Bastard Sirrah,
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you have had by some common Whore,
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If these be your Geese; ye Rogues, she said
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I never shall love Geese more:
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The one she kickd the drink all down,
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the other whippd up the Glass,
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And after she had drunk the Beer,
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she threw it and cut his Face,
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There was Helter skelter the Devil to pay
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oh how the Pots did fly!
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Just as they were in the midst of the Fray,
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the child began to cry:
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There were clouts and blankets all beshit,
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such sights are seldom seen
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I hope it will learn them both more wit,
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how they meddle with Geese again.
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They put it out for theree Shillings a week
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which is Eighteen pence a piece,
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Which they pay every Saturday Night,
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in Remembrance of the Geese,
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Come heres a health to the County Lass
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I think she was not to blame;
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If she has but Wit to take care of her T---
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she may pass for a Maid again.
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