WHileom I sung two memorable Men,
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And dipt in Gall and Vinegar my Pen;
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Burnbank and Fachney, Heroes in their Time,
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Whose matchless Deeds demand immortal Rhime:
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Once more their mighty Fates I must rehearse,
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Not in course Doggrel, but in lofty Verse.
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While punny Rogues practise their snacking Trade,
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To mean Attempts and Shifts by Instinct led;
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Their Talents raise them bove their vulgar Ken,
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And boldly, they perform Things unessayd by Men;
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Rob, Roy, Jardens, Baillies, and the Schaws,
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Can truff a Purse, and mock at human Laws;
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But Fachney and Burnbank low Arts abhore,
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Accomplish Crimes were never heard before.
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Knights of the Post, Knights of the Pad are Fools,
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Unworthy to be made their Under-tools.
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Once Niostratus to propale his Name.
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Fond to be known, tho with immortal Shame,
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Destroyd Dianas Temple with a Fire;
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Two hundred Years Toil did in two Hours expire.
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A Piece of Noble Gallantry indeed;
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But our Two Heroes Fame do theirs Exceed.
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My Muse, record the Actions of these Two,
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And sing the Men whom all Mankind should know.
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Burnbank, while yet a Child, was ripe in Evil,
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A very faithful Servant to the Devil;
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Well warmd in Vice, with an immoderate Heat,
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It made his Bosom heave, and Pulses beat:
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And Fachney tho he be a young Beginner,
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Is like to prove a very hopeful Sinner.
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Like Nettles in fat Soil, they grow so fast,
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Im much afraid theyll both be hangd at last.
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I cannot trace their Crimes in this short Page,
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For to relate them, would consume an Age.
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Consult the Journal-Books, and there youll see,
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Theyre very fit to grace the Gallow lee.
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Tho Bankie did escape by Mights of Mary;
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Woes me, it provd the Death of Hunchback Hary.
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His Crimes, by Act of Banishment, were purgd:
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But since the Judge condemn both to be scourgd,
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Then cunning Fachney and Burnbank agree
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To open Doors, by making of a Key:
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They lay a Solid Plot to make their Way,
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Taking th Impression of the Key in Clay.
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As Drousie Keeper nodded in his Chair;
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Not dreaming in the least the Rogues were there,
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They stole the Figure of his Key; and then
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They gave the Draught on Paper with their Pen.
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They Vulcan Hastie got to employ his Art,
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The Drunken Rogue forgot to act his Part,
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And blabd the Secret out, to their great Shame;
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For which they say, he should be hangd, not them,
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Tho very many People do agree,
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Twere Justice for to hang up all the Three.
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