AN
Excellent New Ballad
BETWEEN
Tom the Tory, and Toney the Whigg,
To the Tune of, Shittle-Come-Shite, etc.
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GOod People all, both Great and Small,
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Come listen to my Story;
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There was a Fray, the other Day,
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Between a Whigg, and Tory.
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For all their Distance, now they met,
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Joynd in the Stocks together;
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You may be sure, twas for no good,
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That both of them came thither.
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The Torys Name was Lashing Tom;
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The Whigg was called Toney;
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And yet the Urchin, most Men say,
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Wants neither Wit nor Money.
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At first they surly were, and grim,
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And stiff as as any Quaker;
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They lookt much like in Hangings old,
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The Panther, and the Baker.
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A while they only hufft and pufft
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At one another, growling:
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At last the Curs did spend their Mouths,
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And thus they fell a Howling.
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Tom.
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(Quoth Tom) to me, thy Company
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Is now as sweet as Honey:
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Tis the first Day, I ere could say,
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To me thourt welcome Toney.
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Since in this Wooden-Cage we meet,
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Lets Con our Notes together:
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And prithee Toney tell me how
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The Devil has brought thee hither.
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Toney.
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(quoth Toney) spare thy Complement,
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Thou soon shalt be Confounded:
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Has thou forgot, thou vapouring Sot,
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By whom thou wert Impounded.
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We tryd a Better, and a Worse,
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I fairly thee did Master:
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I am not Conquerd, but Betrayd
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By Rogues, to this Disaster.
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Tom.
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Those Rogues (quo Tom) thy Creatures were,
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Unjust is thy Complaining;
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Since to this Pen, thourt hunted in
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By Whelps of thy own Training.
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Thy Wickedness, turnd thee to Beast,
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And hither thee did hurry:
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And in this Guise, Acteon-wise,
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Thy Hell-Hounds thee shall worry.
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Toney.
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Thou wants not Wickedness, but Wit,
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To turn it to thy Profit:
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Who but a Sot, would hatch a Plot,
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And then make nothing of it?
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Twas I was fain to Rear thy Barn,
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And bring it to Perfection:
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I made the Frighted Nation sue
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To me, for my Protection.
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Tom.
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I know (quoth Tom) thou lovst of old,
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The Name of a Protector:
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But now with all thy Might and Slight,
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Thou art a Baffld Hector.
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With all thy Treats, and all thy Cheats,
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Still thy Designe does faulter:
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Thoust got (poor Wretch) some Fees for Ketch,
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And for thy self a Halter.
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Toney.
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Name not (quoth Toney) that paw thing,
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Till thou thy Heels Recover:
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For who can tell of Thee or Me,
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Who first will be Turnd over?
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Tom look to it, when Commons Sit,
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Left then I take thee Napping:
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I nothing fear, who am so near
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My Honest Friends of Wapping.
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What more they said, or what they did,
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Deserves not to be reckond:
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Then come away; but first lets pray,
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God bless King Charles the Second.
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