Cuckolds all a-Row.
Or, A Summons issued out from the Master-Cuckolds and Wardens of Fumblers-
Hall; directed to all Henpeckt and Hornified Tradesmen in and about the City of London,
requiring their appearance at Cuckolds-Point. Concluding with a pleasant new Song.
Humphry Flounderkin,
Master.
Francis Fain-would, and
William Would-do-more,
Wardens.
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WEE the Master-Cuckolds and War[de]ns of Fumblers-Hall, by Vertue of this Lawful
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Summons, do joyntly and singular[ly] Charge you, and every of you, belonging to the
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Henpeckd-Frigat, to new Tip an[d ?]urbursh up your Horns, of what Miniture or
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Magnitude soever, as well living [in] the Suburbs, as within the famous City of
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London: And having thus done, you and ev[ery o]f you, to procure a Coney-skin Fur-Gown
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bedeckd with Encomiums of your Wives Ho[?]ys; in which you are strictly Chargd Perso-
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nally to appear at Cuckolds-Point, on the 18th [of] this Instant October, compleatly armd and for-
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tified with Baskets, Pick-Axes, and Shovels, t[he]re to Rendezvous with the Ancient and Horni-
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fied Brethren of your Henpeckd Society; fr[om] thence (after the general Muster) to March at
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the Word of Command, down to the Grave[l pi]ts, there to dig Graves, and bury all thoughts
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of your Wives dishonesty, that you may th[?] carry Gravel with a peaceable Conscience, to
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amend the Highways, that your Wives (wit[h] their Gallants) may walk with pleasure to Horn-
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Fair, to see what strange Monsters they hav[e] made of their Husbands. This being done, you
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repair to Fumblers-Hall, there nail up your Horns, to hang Hats and Cloaks on, for against next
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Year, we account theyl be new grown. F[?] not, under the pain of your Wives displeasure,
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or a greater pair of Horns than your soft N[?]dles (in a short time) will be able to support.
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A Pleasant new SONG, [to] the Tune of, Ladies of London.
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YOu that are summond, fail not to appea[r]
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as well out of Suburbs as City:
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The young foolish Cuckolds must march i[n] the Rear
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led on by the hornified witty:
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But have a care you march not too close,
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for your Horns will so woundily rattle,
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That the Country Bumkin will fancy, God knows
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youre a head of some Outlandish Cattel.
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Rip off the Fringe from your wives Petticoat
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and put all your Gloves in the fashion;
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For theyl get more, or theyl cut all the throats
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of the young Cuckold-makers ith Nation.
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For if you come not decently drest,
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theyl scoff at you all for your labour;
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The Brethren will think you some intruding Guest
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that has borrowd your Horns of your Neighbor.
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Bring all your Horns tipt with Silver good store
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that we ere we part may be merry,
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Whilst our wives in our absence lie coyning of more
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in a mould that does seldom miscarry.
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For who would ere be so simply proud,
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or so very nice in his Dyet,
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As not to let any man taste of his Food,
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if he knows he shall get money by it.
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You that are Cuckolds, and live with content,
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are surely the happiest of Creatures;
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You live merry here, then to Heaven are sent,
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through means of your wives good natures.
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Therefore let them their liberty take,
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and never desire to debar it,
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Since you by your Neighbors are lovd for her sake,
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and live the more happily for it.
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