The Woman to the PLOW; And the Man to the HEN-ROOST; OR, A fine way to cure a Cot-quean. The Tune is, I have for all good Wives a Song,
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BOth Men and Women listen well
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a merry Jest I will you tell,
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Betwixt a Good-man and a Wife,
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Who fell the other day at strife,
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He chid her for her Huswivery,
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And she found fault as well as he.
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With him fors work without the doors,
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Quoth he, a pox on all such whors,
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Sith you and I cannot agree,
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Lets change our work content quoth she
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My wheel and Distaff here take thou,
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And I will drive the Cart and Plow.
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This was concluded twixt them both,
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To Cart and Plow the good-wife goth,
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The good-man he at home doth tarry,
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To see that nothing doth miscarry,
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An apron he before him put.
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Judge, was not this a hansome Slut,
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He fleets the Milk, he makes the Cheese
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He gropes the Hens, the Turks & Gees,
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He Brews & Bakes as wel as he can,
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But not as it should be done, poor man,
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As he did make his Cheese one day,
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Two pigs their belys brake with whay
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Nothing that he in hand did take,
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Did come to good, once he did Bake,
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And burnd the Bread as black as a stock
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Another time he went to rock
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The Cradle, and threw the Child o th floor,
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And brok his Nose, and hurt it sore.
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He went to Milk one evening tide,
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A skittish Cow on the wrong side,
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His pail was full of Milk, God wot,
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She kickt and spilt it every jot,
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Besides she hit him a blow o th face,
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Which was scant whol in six weeks space
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Thus was he servd, and yet too well,
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And more mischances yet befell,
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Before his Apron hed leave off,
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Though all his Neighbors did him scoff,
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Now list and mark one pretty jest,
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Twill make you laugh above all the rest,
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As he to Churn his Butter went,
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One morning with a good intent,
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The Cot-quean fool did surely dream,
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For he had quite forgot the Cream,
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He churnd all day, with all his might.
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And yet he could get no Butter at night,
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The second part, to the same tune.
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TWere strange indeed for me to utter
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that without Cream he should make buter
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Now having shewd his Huswivery,
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Who did all things thus oukwardly,
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Unto the Good-wife ile turn my Rime.
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And tell you how she spent her time.
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She daily usd to drive the Plow,
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But to do t well she knew not how,
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She made so many bank i th ground,
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He had been better have given five pound
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That she had never tant in hand,
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So sorely she had spoild his Land.
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As she did sow the seed likewise,
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She made a feast for Crows and Pies,
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She threw a handful at a place,
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And left all bare another space,
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At th Harrow she could not rule her Mare
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But hid one Land and left two bare.
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And shortly after on a day,
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As she came home with a load of Hay,
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She overthrew it, nay and worse,
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She broke the Cart, and kild a Horse,
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The good-man the same time had ill luck,
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He let in the Sow, and she kild a Duck.
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And being grieved at his heart,
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For losse on s Duck, his Horse and Cart.
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And many hurts on both sides done,
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His eyes did with salt water run,
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O now, quoth he, full well I see,
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The Wheels for her, the Plow for me.
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I thee intreat quoth he good Wife,
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To take thy charge, and all my life,
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Ile never meddle with Huswivery more,
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Nor find such faults as I did before,
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Give me the Car-whip and the Flaile,
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Take thou the Chyrn and Milking-pail
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The good-Wife she was well content,
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And about her Huswivery she went,
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He to Hedging and to Ditching,
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Reaping, Mowing, Lading, Pitching,
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He would be twatling still before,
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But after he nere twatled more.
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I wish all Wives that troubled be.
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With Hose and Dublet, Huswivery,
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To serve them as this Woman did,
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Then may they work and nere be chid,
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Though she i th interim had some losse,
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Thereby she was easd of a crosse,
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Take heed of this you Husbandmen,
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Let Wives alone to grope the Hen,
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And meddle you with the Horse and Oxe
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And keep your Lambs from Wolfe & Fox
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So shall you live contented lives,
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And take sweet pleasure in your wives
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