A Potion for an Apothecary,
Or, The Apothecaryes portion,
This ditty doth Concern a matter Rare,
Thers few or none may with the same Compare,
It may be termd a Net, a Snare, or Jin
Thats only set to catch young Wood-cocks in
Then let no silly bird here at be Jeering,
Forwhen tis Sung youl say tis worth the hearing.
To the tune of Old flesh.
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OF a gallant Apothecary
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a story I will tell,
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His carriage and behaviour
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and what of him befell:
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He was no silly Coxcomb
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nor he was no Country clown,
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But he lived in famous London,
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a place of high renowne,
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He was active in his practise,
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and skillfull of his trade,
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And some women did suppose him
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to be a Bil-bow-blade,
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He was witty in his speeches
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and of qualities most rare,
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Yet he like to a Wood-cock
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was caught at unaware.
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This brave young Pothecary
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ha lived void of strife,
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He stood in need of nothing,
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but he wanted a rich wife:
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And for that only purpose
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he many plots have laid
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To marry with some rich Widow:
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or some wealthy Country Maid,
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His pate it was more subtile
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then any crafty Fox
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But in the last conclusion
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he was herned like an Oxe;
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Now marke what followed after,
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and you shall quickly heare.
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How he like to a Wood-cock
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was caught at un-aware.
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A Punck that livd in London
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which had of wealth no store,
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For all that she had got was
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by playing of the Whore
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She like a cunning Gypsie,
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consulted with her Baud
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This brave Apothecary
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to cozen and defraud:
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Like a brave young Gentlewoman
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that was in the Country borne
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In habit and attire
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she did her selfe adorne
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Her Baud like to a servant,
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did waite as may appeare,
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And they caught the witty Wood-cock,
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before he was aware.
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And being so provided,
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as true reports have said,
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The Punck she was the Mistrisse,
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and the Baud her waiting Maid,
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They then tooke up their lodging
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as it is known full well
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Neere to the very place where
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this brave young spark did dwell,
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The mistris faind her selfe
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to be sick with cold and Tissick
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And sent to the Pothecary
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cause he should give her Physick,
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Who every day imployd her
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with Pils, and such like geare,
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But he like to a Wood-cock,
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was caught at un-aware.
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The Apothecary often,
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to the Gentlewoman came,
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Who beholding of her favour,
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saw she was a handsome dame,
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His heart within his belly,
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with love was set on fire
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But he knew not how nor which way
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to compasse his desire:
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And therefore in close secret,
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to the Maid he told his mind,
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Desiring of her favour
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that she would be so kind
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To speake a good word for him,
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unto her Mistris deare,
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And he would well reward her
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as you shall after heare.
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The Maid replyd unto him,
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there is no way to win her,
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Unlesse you doe invite her,
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on Sunday next to dinner:
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Whereby to make her merry,
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and cast away all care
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And feast her corps with Junkets
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with Wine and with good Cheere.
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And when you all are frolick,
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I will a question move
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So that you thereby may know
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whither she will hate or love:
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These words of hers or joyd him,
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as it doth well appeare,
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And at last the witty Wood-cock,
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was caught in his own snare.
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A dinner was provided
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at the appointed day
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And the Gentlewoman sent for
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who came without delay,
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In all her gay apparell
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in such a stately manner
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As if she were a Lady
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with her Maid to waite upon her;
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And being sat at dinner
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in all her gallant bravery
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The youngman nere mistrusted
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of any poynt of knavery:
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They eate, drank, and were merry
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having plenty of good cheere
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But that same Sundaies dinner
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cost the Apothecary deare.
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whilst they were inmidst of pleasure
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a man that was but poore,
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Came on a hasty message,
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and knocked at the doore
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He brought with him a Letter
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forth of the Country
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Which to the Gentlewoman
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must needs delivered be
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When as she had received it
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the messenger she paid
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And gave the Apothecary
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the letter for to read
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Which letter provd his baine
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as you presently shall heare
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And how this witty Wood-cock
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was caught in his own snare.
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The words that were written in the counterfeit Letter, as if they
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came from her Brother out of the Country were as followeth.
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SWeet Sister I desire you
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to be patient and content,
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Though I this dolefull Letter
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and Messenger have sent
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Whereby to give you notice
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your Fathers dead and gone,
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And how he hath bestowed
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his Goods to every one
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Of us that are his Children.
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which doth alive remaine,
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Note well what here is set down,
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the case is very plaine:
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He hath made me his Executor,
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as you may understand,
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And I am in possesion
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of all my Fathers Land.
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To my second Brother Henry
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a Farm he did give.
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which is enough to maintain him
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and his whilst he doth live,
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And to my Brother Edward,
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as plainly may appeare,
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He gave him for continuance
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two hundred pound a Yeare:
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And you have for your Portion
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of Silver and of Gold,
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Fifteen hundred pound of Money
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as good as ere was told:
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Wherefore I pray good Sister
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come home and take your own,
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That ones part from another
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amongst us may be known.
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Your Loving Brother,
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When as this Gentle-woman
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had heard the Letter read.
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Now that her aged Father
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was dead and buried,
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She sighed and she sobbed,
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she wept and made great moan
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Her Maid that waited on her
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fetcht many a heavy groan:
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The Apothecary seeing such
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floods of sorrowes rise,
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Like a kind hen-hearted coxcomb,
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the teares fell from his eyes,
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Now mark the last conclusion,
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and you shall quickly heare,
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How that this witty Wood-cock
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was caught at un-aware.
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When sorrowes were past over,
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and mirth did fresh revive,
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They that were almost kild then
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became to be alive,
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The Apothecary having
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a plodding cunning pate,
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He thought for to be doing
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before it was too late:
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If he could wed the woman,
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these were his antick fetches,
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He was sure for to be Master
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of all her Gold and Riches:
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And therewithall he wood her.
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without all wit or feare,
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And so this witlesse Wood-cock
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was caught in his owne snare.
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But to be briefe in plain termes;
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the matter so was carryed,
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That they agreed together,
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and suddenly were married.
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And for a little season
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they lived free from strife,
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For she likt well of her Husband
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and he likt of his Wife:
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But in a short time after
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strange matters came to passe,
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And a sudden alteration
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betwixt this couple was.
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He married her for lucre
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of riches as you heare,
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And so the simple Wood-cock
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was caught in his own snare.
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When they had livd together
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three weeks or something moe,
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This Gallant did provide
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ith Country for to goe,
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To see his wivs best friend there,
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that was his chiefest motion,
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And to receive the mony which
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was left her for her portion:
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And for his solid Journy
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so well he did provide,
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He bought new Boots & borrowed
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a Horse whereon to ride,
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A Sword & Horse-mans-Coat too
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he borrowed as I heare,
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And so into the Country he
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rid without wit or feare.
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And thinking that his Wife had
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bin honest, true, and just,
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Al that which was his own Goods
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with her he left in trust,
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so he comming to the place where
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his brother in law should dwel,
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Of such a manner of person there
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was never a one could tell:
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And as for the old man which
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was said to be dead and gone,
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In all the Parish over of
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that name was never a one:
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Wherefore he back returned
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to London as I heare,
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With a purse that held no mony,
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and a heart fild ful of care.
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But when he came to London
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no Wide that he could find,
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Which was a greater crosse,
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and a trouble to his mind,
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For she was run away with
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the Baud which she cald her maid.
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And with a Pimp of hers
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which their heads together laid.
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Wherefore the Apothecary
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in rage most deepely swore,
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That he was basely cozed by
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an old Baud & a young Whore:
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And now his fellow Neighbors
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doth at him scoffe and jeere,
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Cause he like to a Woodcock
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was caught at un-aware.
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You Widowers and Batchelors
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if single men you be,
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Be warnd by the Apothecary
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and be ruld awhile by me.
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Chuse a Wife thats truly honest
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though she be nere so poore,
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Tis better then a rich Wife, if
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she love to play the Whore:
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The Lord wil give a blessing
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to Truth and Honesty
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when theevs, whores, bauds & pan-ders
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may at Tyborn chance to dye.
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Be heedfull in your chusing,
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and have a speciall care,
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Lest like to silly Wood-cocks you
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be caught at un-aware.
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