News out of the Strand,
OR,
The Brewers Misfortune.
Being a true relation of a London Brewer, who was taken by his own Wife and the constable, in bed with
two strapping Lasses both at once, he lying in the middle, and they on each side. This was done near Co-
vent-Garden on monday the seventh day of this present July, 1662. about one of the clock in the morn-
ing; the manner how, is more fully exprest in this following Ditty.
To the Tune of, Come my own Dear let us dally a while.
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COme listen a while and Ile tell you a jest,
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with a fa, la, la, la, la lero,
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Theres nothing but truth in my Ditty exprest,
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with a fa, la, la, la, la lero.
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Tis of a Ranting Brewer which,
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Was troubled with a leacherous Itch
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And wanted a Whore to coole his breech,
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with a fa, la, la, la, la, lero.
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To be a Whore-monger he was known,
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with a fa, la, etc.
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And yet he had a sweet Wife of his own,
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with a fa, la, etc.
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He had good-Ale enough in his own Fat,
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And Flesh in his house, yet what of that
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The Brewer must have a fresh bit for his Cat,
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with a fa, la, etc.
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Sure he in lust did exceedingly burn,
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with a fa, etc
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That no lesse than two could serve his turn,
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with a fa, etc.
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If that be true that one Whore can foyle,
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Ten men in an hour and make them recoyle,
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I fear these two wenches the Brewer did spoyle,
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with a fa, etc.
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But that which to many doth seeme very strange,
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with a fa, etc.
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These Doxies belonged unto the Exchange,
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with a fa, etc.
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The Brewer being in great care,
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How for his money, to get good ware,
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The new Exchange fitted him to a hair,
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with a fa, etc.
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This Brewer was none of your Idle Drones,
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with fa, etc.
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For he could please two wenches at once,
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with a fa etc.
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Hed need be wary that deals with such,
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For they will be very apt to grutch,
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If one hath too little and tother too much,
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with a fa la, etc.
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These Lasses were none of the ordinary sort
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with a fa, la, etc.
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But stately young Girls who were usd to the sport,
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with a fa, la, etc.
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They knew the Brewer to be a brave Lad,
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Who freely would give to make them glad
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A draught of the sweetest wort that he had,
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with a fa la, etc.
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The second part to the same Tune.
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O Was not this a wonderful Riddle,
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with a fa, la, etc.
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Two whores in the Bed, and a Knave in the middle,
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with a fa la, etc.
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But though twas odds yet he did not fail,
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To please both the wenches (tooth and nail)
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His courage was raisd with a Cup of good Ale
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with a fa, etc.
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Yet mark how at last this Brewer did fare,
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with a fa la, etc.
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His Wife catchd him napping, as Mosse catchd his Mare,
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with a fa la, etc.
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She did suspect him long before,
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Because he usd to Rant and Roar,
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But now she resolvd shee would finde out his Whore,
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with a fa la, etc.
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And having notice of the place,
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with a fa la, etc.
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Where he his Lasses did imbrace,
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with a fa, la, etc.
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To follow him thither she was not afraid
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Because she had the Constables aid
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And thus the poor Brewer was betraid,
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with a fa la, etc.
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On munday morning by one of the clock,
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with a fa la, etc.
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At the first crowing of the Cock,
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with a fa la, etc.
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She stept into the Room with a light,
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Which to the whores was a terrible sight
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And did the Brewer most sorely affright,
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with a fa la, etc.
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There she beheld unto her greif
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with a fa la, etc.
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That these two Lasses had plaid the theef,
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with a fa la, etc.
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For being in her Husbands lap,
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They went so often to the best Tap,
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That she at home could get never a drop,
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with a fa la etc.
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But now the good wife will make them both sure,
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with a fa, la, etc.
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From being henceforth so bold with the Brewer,
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with a fa la, etc.
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They did consume her husbands gains,
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And drank up the Ale whilst she fed on the grains,
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Tis fit that they should be well paid for their pains
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with a fa la, etc.
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Into the round-house these Lasses were put,
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with a fa la, etc.
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A fitting place for each impudent slut,
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with a fa la, etc.
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Hereafter let them have a care,
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How to a Brewer they sell their ware,
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For fear that Bridewell fall to their share,
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with a fa la, etc.
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I cannot tell how theyl speed all at last,
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with a fa la, la, la, la lero,
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But sure I am, the worst is not past,
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with a fa la, la, la, la, lero.
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The Brewer should have been more wise,
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And kept further off his wenches thighes
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For now heel be made to pay double Excise,
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with a fa la, la, la, la, lero.
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