The Cooper of Norfolk,
OR,
A pretty Jest of a Brewer, and the Coopers Wife, and how the Cooper serv-
ed the Brewer in his kind. To the Tune of, The wiving age.
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ATtend my Masters, and listen well
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Unto this my Ditty which briefly doth tell
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Of a fine merry jest that in Norfolk befell
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A brave lusty Cooper in that Country did dwell
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And there he cryd work for a Cooper
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Maids haye any work for a Cooper.
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This Cooper he had a fair creature tos wife
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Which a Brewer ith town lovd as deer as his life
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And she had a trick which in some wives is rife
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She still kept a sheath for another mans knife
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And often cornuted the Cooper
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While he cryd more work for a Cooper.
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It happened one morning the Cooper out went
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To work for his living it was his intent
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He trusted his home to his wives government
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And left her in bed to her own hearts content
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While he cryd what work for a Cooper
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Maids haye any work for a Cooper.
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And as the Cooper was passing along
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Still crying and calling his old wonted Song
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The Brewer his rival both lusty and young
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Did think now or never to do him some wrong
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And lye with the wife of the Cooper
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Who better lovd him than the Cooper,
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So calling the Cooper, he to him did say
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Go home to my house and make no delay,
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I have as much work as thou canst do to day
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What ever thou earnest ile bountifully pay
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These tydings well pleased the Cooper
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Oh this was brave news for the Cooper.
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Away went the Cooper to the house of the Brewer,
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Who seeing him hard at his labour to indure
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Thought he now for this day the Cooper is sure
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Ile go to his wife the Green-sicknesse to cure
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Take heed of your fore-head good Cooper
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For now I must work for the Cooper.
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So strait-ways he went to the Coopers dwelling
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The good wife to give entertainment was willing
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The Brewer and she like two pigeons was bi[l]ling
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And what they did else they have bound me from telling
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He pleased the wife of the Cooper
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Who better lovd him than the Cooper.
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But mark how it happened now at the last
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Their Sun-shine of pleasure was soon overcast
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The Cooper did lack one ofs tools and in haste
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He came home to fetch it and found the door fast
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Wife open the door quoth the Cooper,
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And let in thy husband the Cooper.
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Now when the good wife and the Brewer did hear
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The Cooper at the door, affrighted they were
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The Brewer was in such a bodily fear
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That for to hide himself he knew not where
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To shun the fierce rage of the Cooper
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He thought he should dye by the Cooper.
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The good wife perceiving this woful estate
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She having a subtle and politick pate
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She suddenly whelmed down a great brewing Fat
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And closely she covered the Brewer with that
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Then after she let in the Cooper
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Whats under this Tub? quoth the Cooper.
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The second Part to the same Tune.
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SHe hearing her Husband that question demand,
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she thought it was time to her tackling to stand
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Take heed how you move it quod she with your hand
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For theres a live Pig was left me by a Friend.
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Oh let it alone John Cooper
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Thus she thought to cozen the Cooper.
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Is it a Sow-Pig the Cooper did say
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Let me havt to my supper, the good-wife said nay,
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It is Sir a Bore-Pig quoth she by my fay
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Tis for my own diet, twas given me to day
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It is not for you John Cooper
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Then let it alone John Cooper.
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I would it were in thy belly, quoth John,
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Indeed quoth the good-wife so it shall be anon,
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What ere become of it, faith thou shalt have none
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Why standest thou here prating? I prethee be gone
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Make haste to thy work John Cooper
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Worse meats good enough for a Cooper.
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Cannot a good-wife have a bit now and than
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But there must be notice tane by the good-man?
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Ile havt to my dinner, sir, do what you can
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It may be I long for to have all or none
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Then prethee content thee good Cooper
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Oh go to thy work John Cooper.
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The Cooper mistrusted some knavery to be
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Hid under the brewing-fat and therefore he
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Was fully resolved for his mind-sake to see
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Alas, said the Brewer, then wo be to me
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Oh what shall I say to the Cooper
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I would I were gone from the Cooper.
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[Y]ou whore quoth the Cooper is this your Bore-pig
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P[ig] has been well fed for hes grown very big
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He either have of him an arm or a leg
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Ile make him unable his tail for to wrig
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Before hee gets hence from John Cooper
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Ile make him remember the Cooper.
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O pardon me Neighbour, the Brewer did say,
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And for the offence I have done thee this day
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I am well contented thy wrath to allay
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And make restitution for this my foul play
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O prethee forgive me, John Cooper,
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And Ile be a friend to John Cooper.
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If for this offence thou wilt now set me clear
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My bounty and love to thee shall appear
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Ile freely allow thee and thine all the year
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As much as yeel drink either strong Ale or Beer
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Before he gets hence from John Cooper
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Ile make him remember the Cooper.
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Oh no quoth the Cooper. Ile have thee to think
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That I with my labor can buy myself drink
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Ile geld thee, or lame thee, ere from me thou shrink
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These words made the Brewer with fear for to stink
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He feared the rage of the Cooper
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Yet still he intreated the Cooper.
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The Cooper by no means would let go his hold
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The Brewer cryd out to the Cooper, and told
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Him, there was the key of his silver and gold
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And gave him free leave to take what he would
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Oh then hee contented the Cooper
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These tydings well pleased the Cooper.
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If thou quoth the Cooper wilt swear with an oath
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To do all thou telst me although I am loath
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I will be content to pardon you both
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Content quoth the Brewer, I will by my troth
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Here take thou my key John Cooper
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Yea, with a good will, quoth the Cooper.
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On this condition they both went their way
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Both John and the Brewer, but John kept the key
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Which opend the Coffer where more mony lay
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Then John the Cooper had seen many a day
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This is a brave fight thought the Cooper
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Ile furnish my self thought the Cooper.
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John was so far in affection with that
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That he took up handfuls and filled his hat
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I will have my bargain, quoth John, that is flat
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The Brewer shall pay well for using my Fat
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Ile cry no more work for a Cooper
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Farewel to the Trade of a Cooper.
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Thus mony can pacify the greatest strife
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For John never after found fault with his wife
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Hee left off his Adz, his Saw, and his Knife
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And after livd richly all days of his life.
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He crydcry'd no more work for a Cooper
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Oh he left off the Trade of a Cooper.
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And in his merry mood oft times he would say
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If that I had hooped twenty tubs in one day
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I should not have had so much wealth by my fay
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Gramercy kind Wife, for thy wit found the way
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To make a rich man of John Cooper
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Oh what a good wife has John Cooper.
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Let no married couple that hears this tale told,
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Be of the opinion this couple did hold
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To sell Reputation for silver or gold
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For Credit and honesty should not be sold
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Thus endeth the song of the Cooper
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That cryd haye any work for a Cooper.
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