The Catholick Ballad:
OR AN
INVITATION
TO
POPERY,
Upon considerable Grounds and Reasons.
To the Tune of 88.
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SInce Popery of late is so much in debate,
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And great strivings have been to restore it,
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I cannot forbear openly to declare,
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That the Ballad-makers are for it.
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Wel dispute no more then, these Heretical men
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Have exposed our Books unto laughter,
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So that many do say, twill be our best way
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To sing for the Cause hereafter.
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O the Catholic Cause! now assist me my Muse,
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How earnestly do I desire thee!
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Neither will I pray to St. Bridget to day,
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But only to thee to inspire me.
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Whence should purity come but from Catholic Rome?
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I wonder much at your folly;
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For St. Peter was there, and left an old Chair,
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Enough to make all the world holy.
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For this sacred old wood is so excellent good,
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If our Doctors may be believed,
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That whoever sits there needs never more fear
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The danger of being deceived.
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If the Devil himself should (God bless us) get up
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Though his nature we know to be evil,
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Yet whilst he sate there, as divers will swear,
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He would be an infallible Devil.
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Now who sits in this Seat, but our Father the Pope?
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Which is a plain demonstration,
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As clear as noon-day, we are in the right way,
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And all others are doom[']d to damnation.
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If this will not suffice, yet to open your eyes,
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Which are blinded with bad Education;
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We have Arguments plenty, & Miracles twenty
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Enow to convince a whole Nation.
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If you give but good heed, you shall see the Ho[?] bleed,
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And if any thing can persuade ye,
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An Image shall speak, or at least it shall squeak
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In the honour of our Lady.
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You shall see without doubt the Devil cast out,
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As of old by Erra Pater;
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He shall skip about and tear like a dancing Bear
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When he feels the Holy Water.
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If yet doubtful you are, we have Reliques most rare,
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We can shew you the sacred Manger;
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Several loads of the Cross as good as ere was
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To preserve your souls from danger.
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Should I tell you of all, it would move a stone-wall,
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But I spare you a little for pity,
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That each one may prepare, and rub up his ear,
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For the second part of my Ditty.
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The Second Part to the same Tune.
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NOw listen again to those things that remain,
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They are matters of weight, I assure you
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And the first thing I say, throw your Bibles away,
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Tis impossible else for to cure you.
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O that pestilent Book! never on it more look,
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I wish I could sing it out louder:
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It has don more men harm, I here boldly affirm
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Than th Invention of Guns and Powder.
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As for matters of Faith, believe what the Church saith,
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But for Scripture leave that to the Learned;
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For these are edge tools, & you Laymen are fools,
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If you touch them yare sure to be harmed.
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But pray what is it for, that you make all this stir?
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You must read, you must hear and be learned:
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If youl be on our part, we will teach you an Art,
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That you need not be so much concerned.
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[Be t]he Churches good son and your work is half don,
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[A]fter that you may do your own pleasure:
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[If] your Beads you can tell, and say Ave Mary well
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Never doubt of the heavenly treasure.
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[For] the Pope keeps the Keys, and can do what he please
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And without all peradventure,
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[If] you cannot at the fore, yet at the back-door
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Of Indulgence you may enter.
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[B]ut first by the way you must make a short stay
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At a place called Purgatory,
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Which the Learned us tell, in the buildings of Hell,
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Is about the middlemost Story.
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[']Tis a monstrous hot place & a mark of disgrace
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In the torment ont long to endure:
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None are kept there but fools & poor pitiful souls
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Who can no ready money procure.
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For a handsom round sum you may quickly be gon,
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For the Church has wisely ordeind,
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[T]hat they who build Crosses and pay well for Masses
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Should not there be too long deteind.
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[S]o that 'tis a plain case, as the nose on ones face,
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We are in the surest condition,
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[A]nd none but poor fools & some niggardly owls
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Need fall into utter perdition.
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What aileth you then, O ye great and rich men,
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That you will not hearken to reason,
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Since as long as yhave pence, ye need scruple no offence,
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Be it Murther, Adultery, Treason.
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And ye sweet-natur'd Women, who hold all things common,
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My addresses to you are most hearty,
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And to give you your due you are to us most true
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And we hope we shall gain the whole party.
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If you happen to fall, your Penance is small,
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And although you cannot forgo it,
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We have for you a cure, if of this you be sure
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To confess before you go to it.
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There is one reason yet, which I cannot omit,
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To those who affect the French Nation,
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Hereby we advance the Religion of France,
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The Religion thats only in fashion.
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If these reasons prevail, (as how can they fail?)
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To have Popery entertaind,
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You cannot conceive, and will hardly believe,
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What benefits hence may be gaind.
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For the Pope shall us bless (thats no small happiness)
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And again we shall see restored
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The Italian Trade, which formerly made
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This Land to be so much adored.
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O the Pictures and Rings, the Beads and fine things,
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The good words as sweet as honey,
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All this and much more shall be brought to our door
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For a little dull English money.
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Then shall Justice and Love, and whatever can move
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Be restord again to our Britain.
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And Learning so common, that every old woman
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Shall say her Prayers in Latin.
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Then the Church shall bear sway, and the State shall obey,
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Which is now lookt upon as a wonder,
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And the proudest of Kings with all temporal things
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Shall submit and truckle under.
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And the Parliament too, who have takn us to do
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And have handled us with so much terror,
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May chance on that score tis no time to say more)
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They may chance to acknolwedg their error.
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If any man yet shall have so little wit
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As still to be refractory,
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I swear by the Mass, he is a mere Ass,
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And so theres an end of a Story.
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