The Baffled KNIGH
OR,
The LADYs POLICY.
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THERE was a knight was drunk with wine,
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A-riding along the way, sir,
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And there he met with a lady fine,
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And among the cooks ef hay, sir,
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One favour he did crave of her,
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And askd to lay her down, sir,
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But he had neither cloath nor sheet,
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To keep her from the ground, sir.
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There is a great dew upon the grass.
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And if you should lay me down, sir.
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You would spoil my cloathing.
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That has cost me many a pound, sir.
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I have a cloak of scarlet red,
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Ill lay it under thee, love,
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So you will grant me my request,
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That I shall ask of thee, love.
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And if youll go to my fathers hall,
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That is moated all round about, sir,
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There you shall have your will of me,
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Within, sir, and without, sir
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Oh! yonder stands my milk white steed,
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And among the cooks of hay, sir,
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If the kings pinner should chance to come,
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Hell take my steed away, sir,
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I have a ring upon my finger,
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Its made of the finest gold, love.
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And it shall serve to fetch your steed,
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Out of the pinners fold, love.
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And if youll go to my [f]athers house,
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Round which theres many a tree, sir,
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There you shall have your chamber free,
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And your chamberlain I will be, sir,
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He sat her on a milk white steed,
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Himself upon another,
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And then they rid along the way,
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Like sister and like brother.
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But when she came to her fathers house,
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Which was moated all round about, sir,
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She slipt herself within the gate,
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And lockd the knight without, sir,
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I thank you, kind knight, for seeing me here,
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And bringing me home a maiden, sir,
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But you shall have two of my fathers men
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For to set you back again, sir.
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He drew his sword out of his scabbard,
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And whet it upon his Sleeve, sir,
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Saying curses be to every man
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That will a maid believe, sir,
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She drew her handkerchief out of her pocket,
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And threw it upon the ground, sir,
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Saying, thrice cursed be every maid
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That will believe a man, sir.
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We have a tree in our garden,
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Some call it rosemary, sir,
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Theres crowing cocks in our town,
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That will make a capon of thee, sir.
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We have a flower in our garden,
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Some calls it marygold, sir.
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And he that would not when he might,
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He shall not when he would, sir.
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But if you chance to meet a maid,
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A little below the town, sir,
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You must not fear her gay cloathing,
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Nor the wrinkling of her gown, sir,
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And if you chance to meet a maid,
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A little below the hill, sir,
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You need not fear her shrieking out,
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For she quickly will lie still, sir.
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The Baffled Knight was by the lass
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Ingeniously outwitted,
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And since that time it came to pass,
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He was again well fitted.
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As he was riding cross a plain,
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In boots, spurs, hat and feather,
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He met that lady fair again;
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They talkd a while together.
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He said, Tho you did serve me so,
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And cunningly decoy me,
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Yet, now, before you farther go,
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[I] must and will enjoy thee.
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Twas near a spacious rivers Tide,
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Where rushes green were growing,
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And Neptunes silver streams did slide,
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Four-fathom waters flowing.
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The lady blushd like scarlet red,
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And trembled at this stranger,
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How shall I guard my maidenhead.
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From this approaching danger
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With a lamenting sigh said she,
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To die I now am ready;
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Must this dishonour fall on me?
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A most unhappy lady!
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He from his saddle did alight,
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In gaudy rich attire,
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And cayd, I am a noble knight,
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Who do your charms admire.
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He took the lady by the hand,
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Who seemingly consented;
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And would no more discoursing stand,
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She had a plot invented.
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How she might baffle him again,
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With much delight and pleasure.
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And eke unspotted still remain,
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With her pure virgin-treasure.
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Look yonder, good sir knight, I pray,
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Methinks I do discover
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Well mounted on a dapple-grey,
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My true entire lover.
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The knight was standing on the brink
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Or the deep floating river.
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Thought she, Thou now shalt swim or sink,
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Chuse which you fancy rather.
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Against his back the lady run.
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The water strait he sounded;
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He cryd out, love! what have you done?
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Help, help, or I am drowned.
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Said she, Sir Knight, farewel, adieu!
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You see what comes of fooling,
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This is the fittest place for you,
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Whose courage wanting cooling.
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Love, help me out, and Ill forgive
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This fault which youve committed.
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No, no, says she, as I live,
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I think youre finely fitted.
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She rid home to her father house
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For speedy expedition.
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While the gay knight was soakd like souce
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In a sad wet condition.
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When he came mounted to the plain,
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He was in rich attire,
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Yet when he back returnd again,
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He was all muck and mire.
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A solemn vow he there did make,
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Just as he came from swimming,
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Hed love no lady for her sake,
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Nor any other women.
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The Baffled Knight was foold once more,
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Youll find by this pleasant ditty,
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For she whose charms he did adore,
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Was wonderful sharp and witty.
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Returning from her fathers park,
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Just close by a summer bower,
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She chancd to meet her angry spark,
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Who gave her a frowning lour,
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The thoughts of what she twice had done,
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Did cause him to draw his rapier.
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And at the lady then did run,
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And thus begun to vapour.
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You chousd me at your fathers gate,
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Then tumbled me in the river,
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I seek for satisfaction strait,
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Shall I be a fool for ever?
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He came with resolution bent
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That evening to enjoy her,
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And if she did not give consent,
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That minute hed destroy her.
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I pray, sir knight, and why so hot
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Against a young foolish woman?
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Such crimes as these might be forgot,
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For merry intrigues are common.
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What do you count it mirth, he cryd,
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To tumble me in and leave me?
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What if I drowned there had dyd!
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A dangerous jest believe me:
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Well, if I pardon you this day,
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These injuries out of measure,
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It is because without delay,
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I mean to enjoy the pleasure.
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Your suit, she said, is not denyd,
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But think of your boots of leather,
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And let me pull them off, she cryd.
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Before we lie down together.
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He set him down upon the grass,
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And violets so sweet and tender.
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Now by this means it came to pass
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That she did his purpose hinder.
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For having pulld his boots half way,
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She cryd now Im your betters.
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You shall not make of me your prey,
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Sit there like a thief in fetters,
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Now finding she had servd him so,
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He rose, and began to grumble.
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Yet he could neither stand nor go,
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But did like a cripple tumble.
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The boots stuck fast, and would not stir,
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His folly she soon did mention.
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And laughing said, I pray, kind sir,
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How like you my new Invention?
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My laughing fit you must excuse,
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You are but a stingless nettle.
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Youd neer have stood for boots nor shoes,
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Had you been a man of mettle.
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Farewel, sir knight, tis almost ten,
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I fear neither wind nor weather,
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Ill send my fathers serving-men,
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To help off thy boots of leather.
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She laughd out-right, as well she might,
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With merry conceits of scorning.
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And left him there to stay all night,
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Until the approaching morning.
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The fourth part of the baffled Knight
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The lady hath fairly acted.
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She did his love and kindness slight
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Which made him almost distracted.
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She left him in her fathers park,
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Where none but deer could hear him,
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While he lay rowling in the dark,
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Theres never a soul came near him.
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Until the morning break of day,
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And being warm summer weather.
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A shepherd chancd to come that way,
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Who pulld off his boots of leather.
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Then mounting on his milk-white steed,
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He shaking his ears was ready.
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And whip and spur he rode with speed,
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To find out this crafty lady.
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If once this lady I come nigh,
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She shall be releasd by no man.
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Why should so brave a Knight as I
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Be foold by a silly woman,
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Three times has she affronted me,
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In crimes which I cannot pardon!
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But if I arnt revengd, said he,
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Let me not be worth a farthing.
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I value not her beauty fair,
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Tho once I did doat upon her.
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This trusty sword shall now repair
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My baffled blasted honour.
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Unto her fathers house he came,
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Which on every side was moated.
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The fair, sweet, charming, youthful dame,
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His angry brows she noted
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Thought she, Ill have the other bout,
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And tumble him in the river.
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And let the devil help him out,
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Or there he shall soak for ever.
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He will not let my live at rest,
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Altho I have oftend foild him.
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Therefore once more, I do protest.
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With flattering Ill beguile him,
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The bridge was drawn, the gates lockd fast,
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So that he could no ways enter.
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She smild to him, and cryd at last.
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Sir Knight, if you please to venture,
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A plank lies over the moat herd by.
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Full seventeen feet in measure.
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Theres nobody now at home but I
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Therefore well take our pleasure.
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This word she had no sooner spoke,
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But strait he was tripping over,
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The plank was sawd, and snapping broke.
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He provd an unhappy lover.
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