Wife will be my master.
OR, The Married-Mans Complaint against his Unruly Wife, being a warning for all
Unmarried persons, to have a special care in choosing their Mai[t]e, lest they meet
with such a Myre-snype, as this poor-man did.
To the Tune of, A Taylour is no Man.
Tune Pigie I most love thee
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AS I was walking forth of late,
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I heard a Man complaining,
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With that I drew me near to him,
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to know the cause and meaning
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Of this his Sorrow, Pain and Grief,
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which bred him such disaster,
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Alace, quoth he, what shall I do?
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my Wife will be my Master.
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If I should give her fourty pound
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within her Apron-folding,
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No longer then she telling ont
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her tongue leaves never scolding:
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As Aesops Dog barkt at the Moon,
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thinking for to distate her,
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So doth my Wife scold without cause,
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and strives to be my Master.
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Were I so strong as Hercules,
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or wiser then Apollo;
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[O]r had I Icarus wings to flee,
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my Wife would after follow:
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[Or] should I live as many Years
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as never did King Nestor,
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[Ye]t do I greatly stand in fear,
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my Wife would be my Master.
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[I] know no cause nor reason why
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that she with me should jangle,
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[I] never gave her cause at all
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to make her with me wrangle:
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[I] please her still in what I may,
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and do no jot distate her;
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[Y]et she doth strive both night and day
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alwayes to be my Master.
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[I] every morning make a fire,
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all which is done to ease her;
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I get a Nutmug, make a Tost,
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in hope therewith to please her:
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With a cup of nappy Ale and Spice,
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of which she is first taster,
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And yet this cross-graind quean wil scold
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and strive to be my Master.
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I wash the dishes, sweeps the house;
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I dress the wholesome dyet;
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I humour her in every thing;
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because I would be quyet:
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Of every several dish of meat
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[shel] surely be first taster,
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And I am glade to pick the bones,
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she is so much my Master.
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Sometimes shel sit while day be light,
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in company with good fellowes,
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In Taverns and in [bo]wsing Tents,
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or in some pimping Ale-house:
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And when she comes home drunk at night,
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though I do not distate her,
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Shel fling, shel throw, shel scratch, shel bite,
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and strive to be my Master.
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Her bed I made both soft and fine,
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and put on shooes compleatly;
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Her shooes and stockings I pul off,
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and lay her down most neatly:
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I cover her and keep her warm,
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for fear I should offend her,
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I hug her kindly in my Armes,
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yet still shel be my Master.
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And when I am with her in Bed,
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she doth not use me well Sir,
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Shel wring my Nose, and pull my Ears,
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a pittifull tale to tell Sir:
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And when I am with her in Bed,
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not meaning to molest her,
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Shel kick me out at her Beds-feet
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and so become my Master.
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And thus you hear how cruelly
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my Wife doth still abuse me,
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At Bed, at Board, at Noon, at Night,
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she alwayes doth misuse me:
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But if I were a lusty man,
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and able for to baste her,
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Then would I surely use a means,
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that she should not be my Master.
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You Batchelours that sweet hearts have,
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when as you are a wooing,
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Be sure you look before you leap,
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for fear of your undoing:
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The after Wit is not the best,
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and he that weds in haste Sir,
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May like to me bewaile his case,
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if his Wife do prove his Master.
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You married Men that have good wives,
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I pray you make much of them,
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For they more precious are then gold,
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if once you come to try them:
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A good Wife makes a Husband glade,
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then let him not offend her;
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But a Scold will make a man run mad,
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if once she prove his Master.
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