A bloody BATTLE between a
Taylor and a Louse.
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A Taylor and a Louse,
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Livd together in a House,
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And betwixt them a Quarrel rose,
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The Taylor he thought much,
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And he owd the Louse a Grudge,
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For breeding her Young in his Cloaths.
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Says the Louse, I wonder much,
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That your Malice should be such,
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That you would turn me out of Doors,
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One Time, you know, my Brood,
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Was the best Part of your Food,
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You was so damnable poor.
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Deny this, if you can,
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Nine Taylors makes a Man;
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With nought but a Louse you can fight,
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But was a Louse to turn again,
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Youre such valiant-hearted Men,
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Twould put you in a Fright.
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So then this very Time,
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This Taylor neat and fine,
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Caught the Louse by the Collar Bone.
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Said he, Ill let you know,
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Before I let you go,
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Whether a Taylor be a Man or no,
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The Louse she gave a Start,
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Made the Taylor let a Fart,
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And unto him thus did say,
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Do not strike me when Im down,
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Thats the Trick of a Clown,
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I pry thee lets have fair play.
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Says the Taylor this I grant,
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That Courage I do want;
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But the Name of a Coward I scorn.
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Fight your best I do advance,
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Ill give you Time to rise,
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For your Speeches are not to be born.
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Then the Louse stood bolt upright,
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And made a bloody Fight,
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Give the Taylor a damnable Blow;
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For he hit him oer the Nob,
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Made the Taylor sigh and sob,
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He knew not how to stand or go.
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Then the Taylor got his Goose,
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And he threw it at the Louse,
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And gave her a Bang on the Side.
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Says the Louse, Your Heart is weak,
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For thats a Cowards Trick,
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And now I will well tan your Hide.
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Then the Louse got his Sheers,
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And clipt the Taylors Ears,
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And the Blood it run on the Floor:
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And the Taylor sighd and cryd,
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You would have thought hed dyd,
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And said he would fight no more.
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So now you plainly see,
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What valiant Men they be,
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Altho of there Courage they boast;
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But let them once be tryd,
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Hard Blows they cant abide,
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Theyd rather have a pot and Toast,
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If theres any Taylor here,
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Who thinks I do them jeer,
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Or imagine I do him wrong,
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Let him take a Gun and fight,
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For King George and Englands right,
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And so here Ill end my Song.
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All Gentlemen Taylors, that are willing to serve in the
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Company of Capt. Louse in Col. Fleas Regiment of Foot,
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let them repair to the sign of the Cabbage and three
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Cucumbers, where they shall be kindly entertaind, and
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enter into present pay, with a nitty pair of breeches, and
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three Cucumbers a day Gentlemen Taylors,.
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Now mind your Exercise: See that you march with a
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full Body and an empty Stomach, advance your Needle,
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cock your Bodkins, rest your Yard Wand, prime your
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Thimbles, shoulder your Sheers, join your, Right hand to
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the Waistband of your Breeches draw fouth your live Lice
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cut there Heads off and fling their dead bodies to the
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Ground, let the quick ones march by two and three
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while the Drum beats Nit-o Nit, from the Right-hand
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doubled to the Left, Triple File of Taylors; so march to
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the devil.
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